The Wetting Album

Illustrated Albums

David Bowie - The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars

Five Years
Soul Love
Moonage Daydream
Starman
It Ain't Easy
Lady Stardust
Star
Hang On To Yourself
Ziggy Stardust
Suffragette City
Rock 'n' Roll Suicide

BENNETT PLACE : SECTION FIFTY EIGHT

CINETEXT -- part nineteen

Noddy, Soddy, Willing, and what

Noddy, Soddy, Willing
and what
And not what I had thought
And Bang! and there it was
And now what?
And why what not
And so on
So why should I, who had not, now must
should and done
And not to do
unto others as others
shall and will have done

Be that as it may, maybe not
Maybe tomorrow, yesterday
Nearly never
not withstanding not
I will not, nor shan't do
Done is the stuff
I said I couldn't do
Whatever it is that I had lost
is equal to the amount
that I had won, and lost

- P

BENNETT INVENTORY : What is and What Should Never Be

10 Sequels we'd like to see

Bill and Ted's Most Triumphant Return
My Uncle Vinny
Unbreakable : Issue #2
2 to Tango and Cash
"Manos" Sackcloth and Ashes
Miami Vice : City On Fire
Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72
Jack Burton and the Curse of the Dragon
Pee Wee vs. Jason
Django to War

...and 10 we do not wanna see

Lincoln 2
Ei8ht
Star Wars, Episode VII : The Gungun Democracy
Seven More Years in Tibet
The Little Lebowski
Troll 3D
Two Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
3 Day Weekend at Bernie's
THX 1139
Boogie Days

Sugar Smacks and Cheap Thrills

So It's Come To This : The Top 10 Episodes

If you're one of the few people who's ever watched The Simpsons, you've probably noticed that you tend to gravitate towards certain episodes. Episodes that you like and know by heart. Episodes that, after a few hundred viewings, still make you laugh at certain points. Well, after much, much whittling, we've condensed each of our lists down to a solid ten, respectively. So tuck your pants into your socks and let the arguments fly. Can you see that I am serious?

Paul's List

1. You Only Move Twice - Season 8
Best Moment: Homer's brief but revealing quest to find sugar for his coffee.

2. Homer Badman - Season 6
Best Moment: The "dramatization" of Homer's Rock Bottom interview.

3. Bart's Girlfriend - Season 6
Best Moment: Following an incident with a glue truck, Marge and Homer have a short discussion about what may be troubling Bart.

4. Hurricane Neddy - Season 8
Best Moment: At the suggestion of Dr. Foster (a great supporting character), Homer confronts Ned in a hollow attempt to anger him.

5. Brother From the Same Planet - Season 4
Best Moment: Homer's female doppelganger joyfully sings "I am Woman" as she drives past a neglected Bart.

6. Lisa the Iconoclast - Season 7
Best Moment: Hollis Hurlbut bans Lisa and all her future descendants from the Springfield Historical Society for a period of three months.

7. Homer the Heretic - Season 4
Best Moment: The entire first act: "Delilah" in the shower, Moon Waffles, "These Things I Believe," and the discovery of a penny.

8. Selma's Choice - Season 4
Best Moment: A minor subplot depicting the love/hate relationship between Homer and the sandwich he can't seem to quit.

9. A Milhouse Divided - Season 8
Best Moment: Bart demonstrates a standard stunt by breaking a chair over Homer's head and shoulders.

10. Hungry Hungry Homer - Season 12
Best Moment: Homer wearily improvs a song in which he compares himself to Jesus Christ.







Jess's List

1. King Size Homer  - Season 7
Best Moment: Homer gets excited by a free sample of fabric softener and washes his fat guy hat.

2. Homer the Heretic - Season 4
Best Moment: Ned tries to save Homer when his house is on fire.

3. Fear of Flying - Season 6
Best Moment: Marge tries to self-medicate her fears by watching movies depicting plane crash survivors.

4. Homer's Enemy - Season 6
Best Moment: After Homer proudly wins a contest that was set up to embarrass him, Frank Grimes finally snaps.

5. This Little Wiggy - Season 9
Best Moment: Marge is endeared by Ralph and touches his special area.

6. You Only Move Twice - Season 8
Best Moment: Hank Scorpio offers Homer sugar out of his pants.

7. Hurricane Neddy - Season 8
Best Moment: Ned feels blessed when the town has pitched in to build him a replacement house.

8. Homer Badman - Season 6
Best Moment: "Homer S: Portrait of An Ass Grabber"

9. Bart's Girlfriend - Season 6
Best Moment: Willy is an unwitting pawn in Skinner's setup for Bart.

10. Homer's Phobia - Season 8
Best Moment: Steelworkers work hard and play hard.

Oh, Baby Names!

Bendy Wendy
Jiggly Love
Molly Soft
Dick Cunningham
Goldie Summers
Jim Blossoms
Honey Pie
Coraline St. Valentine
Lindsey Nicole
Rosie Cheeks
Reggie Hammer
Lefty Lucy
Bobbi Sox
Brandy Alexander
Leopold
Bubbles Bleu
Snake Foreskin
Sharon Taint
Lemonade Stan
Annie Holler
Booner James
Penny Candy
Loretta Deluxe
Patty Cake
Anita Anita