2018 Edition

This is an asylum of collaboration between p&j.
No button is pushed or color shaded without implied verbal consent between the two initials.
It will continue to be so until they take it away or the toilet stops running.

It's all come full circle, and the circle closed in our lifetime; we've devolved from the apes. We've become incredible watchers and and passionate feelers - nothing more. We rely on celebrity hashtags to make a difference, which work as well as bumper stickers did 40 years ago. We hope to bring about change with the help of the people who fucked it up in the first place. There is an ocean between 'half-assed' and 'extreme.' People are turned off by both. So, most everyone bobs around comfortably in the water, horrified by the idea of either shore. And there's no current - it's ghoulishly stagnant. And so, while we all float down here, we'll devise our laws and write our history.

  • Stick to long-lasting ideals, not fashionable mania. Our principles are not malleable. If they were they'd be something else: moods, or whatever passes for religion in western culture.

  • A change of heart is not indicative of any major shift in beliefs - whatever path we take is always informed by that great big bastard of a devil on our shoulder. It is he who actually gives a fuck, not us. At any rate, our intentions stay the same.

  • There's no more room left in this culture for hunting.

  • Everything on the internet is absolute truth. It is absolute, because we revert to nothing else. We revert to nothing else, because there is nothing else.

  • Everything on the internet is a fabrication, and because there is nothing else, we must now appreciate and hold in the highest regard all words and pictures with which we are presented. And we must also do our part to continue the deceit, and expel as much rage and joy as one can muster to make it better than it was.

  • Acquire everything on the internet, digest it, and pass it through your lower intestines. It may or may not come out the same, but it was fun, wasn't it?

  • Dumb everything down. It's good exercise for you, and it prevents any defects in communication.

  • Lying is simple minded. Honesty requires intelligence.

  • The quality of candy, soft drinks, artificial butter, and salt have remained stubbornly consistent. In light of these observations, we will continue to go to the movies - despite the laughable decline in the quality of the motion pictures themselves - solely for the snacks.

  • Youtube is a landfill mostly full of diapers and dead house pets.

  • As we assimilate, the need for subcultures intensifies. Once 'all lives matter,' there will be no one left to point the finger at. Then the real madness begins.

  • It is the responsibility of every citizen to participate in -- and whenever appropriate, compound -- the ever growing division of the human race as a whole. Never instigate, but for Christ's sake, perpetuate. Immediately react to all news of any event with extreme, irrational emotions. Don't learn too much about any situation - that may elicit empathy, which could alleviate the distance. Only read headlines, never the full story - but only the headlines of institutions you respect.

  • Diversify your hotdog toppings every 11 years.

  • Facebook is an impressionistic bar graph with no scales or labels.

  • Prepare pasta according to package directions. Add hot cooked pasta and chicken to tomato mixture; toss gently to coat. Season with salt & pepper to taste. Transfer to a serving platter, and top with basil, but not cilantro, because it sucks.


Dancing Without the Stars

Faceless on a windowpane
chicken on the soup
Crackers on the cellophane
noodles in the coop

No charge for cash back
no penalty for sin
No cure for Big Mac Attack
No sleep till Brooklyn

Forces of nature in the front yard
100 things you never knew
Nighttime skies are mooned and starred
roses are red, violet, and blue

An innocent face full of tired and sound
inches of makeup pervert this game
A tower of excuses rises from the ground
roses are read by no other name

Artificial strawberry & grape flavored toys
rockets to the moon & Merriam Avenue
A well full of wishes & a beer can full of noise
a reflection of poor judgement and a bad attitude

Hypoallergenic water-based pleasure
twisted intense warming sensation
Popcorn and licorice, measure for measure
out of step & out of time in a self-proclaimed rhythm nation

- P

Related Posts with Thumbnails