Showing posts with label The Blair Witch Project. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Blair Witch Project. Show all posts

10.06.2023

Are You Afraid of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones?


What's more horrific: receiving your wife's severed head in the mail, or listening to The Offspring? The 90s asked the tough questions and gave us the awful truth - and the awful music. Typically around this time of year, my home, my head, and my car is filled with the ominous and gorgeous sounds of Nico Fidenco, Fabio Frizzi, and John Carpenter. Intellectually these are the sounds of the 70s and 80s, but spiritually they're the sounds of Halloween - my Halloween. But I've embarked on great change to make this Halloween different: consciously memorable but still fun. And so more than the movies, I'm aiming to shift the music playlist, because that's where the mood comes from, and that mood - that 90s mood - is gonna best be experienced not through movie score but through pop songs. And with that, I'm able to assemble some consistent favorites but mostly explore the stuff I otherwise wouldn't have sought out. I can't promise I'll stick to this list exclusively, but they'll definitely be integrated into my usual lineup. Here's a short starter pack. 

- Paul


"Hey Bulldog" by Toad the Wet Sprocket
(featured in I Know What You Did Last Summer)


"Youth of America" by Birdbrain 
(featured in Scream)


"Love Song For a Vampire" by Annie Lennox
(featured in Bram Stoker's Dracula)


"Go to Hell" by KMFDM
(featured in Hideaway)


"Treat 'em Right" by Chubb Rock
(featured in Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare)


"Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" by Marilyn Manson
(featured in House on Haunted Hill)


"Rigors" by Digginlilies
(featured in The Blair Witch Project)


"Under the Water" by Jewel
(featured in The Craft)


"(Don't Fear) The Reaper" by The Mutton Birds
(featured in The Frighteners)


"Welcome to This World" by Primus
(featured in Brainscan)


9.20.2023

THAT MOMENT : Scariest Horror Movie Moments of the 90s Edition!

Horror in the 1980s felt grounded in something: themes, style, plot, mood, predictability. But in the 1990s there were a lot of new, creative, weird, occasionally satirical, sometimes dumb ideas, making the decade substantially unpredictable; and that unpredictability caused an uneasiness that could sometimes be scary. In fact, that's a major difference for me between these two clearly defined decades of Horror Cinema: the 90s had more legitimate scares on average than perhaps any other period of time. I'm serious! We may not've gotten the parade of Halloween costumes and magazine pinups that poured out of the 80s, but we did get a whole lotta fright, and that feels like the greater accomplishment. 

Not many movie things scare me - more likely to bum me out, gross me out, or cause me to jump with some cheap auditory sting - but the better part of the monsters and madmen that infected my thoughts and haunted my dreams came from the final decade of the 20th century, particularly these 5 moments. 

- Paul


From Dusk Till Dawn
A mean motherfuckin' servant of God

Upon its release, no one didn't point out the dramatic shift from Crime Thriller to Gorefest halfway through the picture, often noting the first half was more engrossing and punctilious than the mindless mayhem following the pace change. I disagree. The second half maintains the sharp dialogue, and the plot twists and developments are even more elaborate than the humdrum hostage smokescreen in the setup. But the biggest and best surprise comes when the background dread of angry bats all come flooding into the Titty Twister at once and we know we're fucked. And in one of the greatest reveal shots in Horror Movie History, we find out just how fucked we are. 


Innocent Blood
Italian food

Shortly before From Dusk Till Dawn's flesh eating demon versions of "vampires" I'd always been used to the suave, gentle, "you're gonna feel a slight pinch" vampire. This was the first time I'd seen an animalistic, carnivorous attack complete with generic wildcat roars and sloppy consumption the likes of which I'd not witnessed since Landis's own Werewolf in London. Out of the dozens of vampire flicks released just in the 90s alone, this one felt the most real. 


Lord of Illusions
Homecoming Time

When former cult followers learn of their leader's resurrection, they immediately and gruesomely cut ties with their current lives, casually murdering their respective families, coworkers, etc. It's the darkest and most depressing thing Clive's ever put on screen, but it was only ever scary to me as a kid - not as such that a loved one would kill me, but that they're secretly this other person whose allegiance lies elsewhere.


Jacob's Ladder
Tail from the Darkside

If this film feels kinda ambiguous by the end, just try and remember how it feels at the beginning! The movie's mood (though the movie itself is a mood) is put in place pretty quickly and this introductory scene salts the wound immediately; in a very subtle and simple practical makeup effect, Jacob possibly glimpses a reptilian tail hanging out of the tattered clothes of a homeless subway dweller. Dimly lit, no music cue, just a horrible omen foreshadowing the gross, dark world of unpredictable foreboding that we're stuck in right along with him. 


The Blair Witch Project
Ghost kids

The movie has one speed, and that speed is white knuckle panic, so whenever there was any kinda bite, however big or small, it bit like a bitch. The "creepy kids" chestnut typically does nothing for me, but laughter in the dark approaching unseen, leading up to some formless violent chaos conveyed a paralyzing vulnerability that makes me feel unsafe even after the movie's over. It's The Greatest Horror Movie Moment of the 1990s. 

9.19.2022

Paul's TOP 20 HORROR MOVIE CRUSHES

Scream Queens. Final Girls. Whether they're a casualty or a crusader doesn't really play a part in what piques my interest; I look at this list of women and I find I'm unable to compartmentalize what they bring to this otherwise rudimentary genre. In other words, most of them are too complex (or their situation is such) to assign them one of these antiquated story functions; these are characters that managed to exist beyond the "plot" in one way or another - enough to believe that maybe, I dunno, we could hang out maybe(?). If you survive, I mean... 

- Paul


Lisa Webber
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

It's one thing to accept the terms of being "just friends," but to embrace that to the point of braving the depths of hell and fighting the devil himself to preserve that friendship is a relationship goal everyone should strive for. 


Kimberly
Brainscan

Sometimes you need to ease off the Fangos and serial killing and simply notice the literal girl next door who's clearly showing interest and concern for your whole deal. Fucking gamers. 


Harley David
Halloween II

Never mind the white horse and psychic powers and the unkillable giant - the least believable thing in the movie is that anyone could ever be as ridiculously cool (and hot) as she. 


Mary
Cannibal Apocalypse 

Whenever you're overwhelmed with suppressing the cannibalistic urges you contracted as a POW in Vietnam, try to find someone who looks at you the way Cinzia De Carolis looks at John Saxon.  


The Demon
The Unholy

I'm not saying she makes the entire movie, but were it not bookended by this sinister seductress of Satan I don't think I'd revisit it quite as much. 


Jezzie
Jacob's Ladder

I'm gonna have a crush on Elizabeth Peña in anything, but Jezzie works so hard at maintaining compassion in the face of madness that anyone with that kind of staying power must be a figment of your drug-fueled imagination. 


Gretel
Gretel & Hansel 

The thing with this is that Hansel reminds me of my son, so anytime I watch it there's this anxiety regarding his safety, and because his big sister is his hero, she intuitively becomes my hero.


Mary Shelley
The Bride of Frankenstein

As "The Bride" she has a dedicated following, and I get that - I'm big on the whole goth thing too. But she clearly never needed the whole getup; some chicks are prettier pre-reanimation. 


Helen Foley
Twilight Zone: The Movie


The most intriguing thing about this version of the story is her character; she seemingly kills the monster with kindness, but then it's strongly implied through dialogue and performance that there's some weird naughtiness to her that suggests an even more interesting continuation. 


Sarah Bailey
The Craft

It's kinda like picking a favorite Beatle - and your choice could potentially reveal something about who you are; because yeah, when I was younger I could've been more of a Fairuza man, but with maturity you tend to gravitate more towards sanity and security. 


Jaime
Little Witches

Of course, there are some days when we want a little slutty madness in our naughty necromancers.


Heather Donahue
The Blair Witch Project

The "High School me" still echoes that passion for the potty-mouthed extroverted film student who's clearly down for whatever life (or death) throws at her.


Jean
American Psycho

Despite her passiveness, gullibility, and ignorance of famous serial killers, she has a sweet innocence that could easily be nurtured by someone who isn't quite so misogynistic.


Yara
It Follows

I always tend to pay more attention to "the friend" than the lead, but that's not really any surprise here - in a very short amount of screen time the movie begs us to notice her, and I'm very happy to oblige.


Allison
Vamp

It's hard to find a ray of sunshine anywhere in this genre, and so few characters are as brave and optimistic in the face of vampires and albino street toughs as Dedee Pfeiffer. 


Meg Penny
The Blob

A cheerleader-turned-urban commando setup could easily be played for laughs, but Shawnee sells it hard enough to be totally convincing as an (under appreciated) Action Hero.


Catherine Martin
The Silence of the Lambs

Maybe it's my hero complex kicking in, but even though she's clearly smart enough and strong enough to turn the tables, that initial lotion scene sends me fantasies of jumping in there and bringing her home to her mom.


Lisa Snipes
Curse II: The Bite

How to pick a single Jill Schoelen role? Hot, sweaty desert locale, literal animalistic urges, lotsa biting and phallic snake imagery, an actual mud wrestling climax. This'll do.


Tina
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning

Sorry to be so pre-diddly-ictable but she belongs nowhere else if not here. Jason's dead, and this lady just wants to fuck her boyfriend for days without any fear of reprisal (or gardening shears). That makes her the most relatable character in all of Cinema.


The Women of Tenebrae

It's just the Italian Seasoning version of the Spice Girls - I defy you to pick just one. But why bother - I didn't. Apparently Rome is tougher than Twin Peaks when it comes to singling out your favorite Signora. 

3.07.2020

TRADING CARDS :: 6 Promiscuous Singles


Well, it's March - the 'Part 3' of January: the one that no one wanted and leaves a buncha "unanswered questions." No matter - I always have plenty to be busy about during any given quarter, and during this nearly-nondescript month I've found a decent gateway drug to the better weather days: poring over old trading cards.

Cards have come up many times on here in the past, but I don't know that we've ever done proper introductions - which is just silliness because the subject is right at home on this site; that, plus they're fabulous starting points for a variety of topics. And the variety is vast, folks. I've maybe only kept 50% of the cards I've amassed in my lifetime, but there are still thousands and thousands for us to look at - and it'll be up to me to discriminate when it comes to what's worth our time. And so, for this first installment, we'll start hard & fast with a more challenging theme - rather than just the usual cardboard nostalgia that already infests the internet: 6 very random (but interesting nonetheless) singles that are worth a semi-in-depth look.

- Paul

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (#15) "Pat" -- Star Pics, 1992

Maybe it's because it's when I started watching new episodes regularly, but I always assumed that SNL fell into a stream of popularity in the early 90s (though I'm aware that the 80s were largely regarded as a low point in the show). Of course, my assumptions are validated by the fact that it got its own series of cards at this particular time, depicting everyone from the Coneheads to Wayne & Garth. I selected Pat for this lineup because it occurred to me that, while the sketches were completely harmless, people would easily manage to find something wrong with them were they written for current seasons. And so, it's a time capsule in that sense, but so much more than that is the Zubaz-inspired pattern that adorns the border; if Doritos had a Saved By the Bell flavor, this is what the bag would look like. In fact, in most cases, the border (or sometimes lack thereof) is the key to the whole game.

TROLLS (#11) "Lars" -- Norfin, 1992

If they'd made a Trolls movie that even remotely resembled this aesthetic, the world probably wouldn't be in the shape that it's in. Even as a kid, it felt redundant to me to take a collectible and repurpose it as another collectible. I didn't have any Trolls, but I was aware of them. I liked them. My problem with them was that there wasn't nearly enough differentiation from Troll to Troll. This concept, however - depicting them in various quaint, colorful environments - is infinitely more appealing and interesting to me, as it allows some breathing room for more personality to surface. That plus I wanna hang out in these cute little places.

HERE'S BO! (#69) "Exercising on California beach" -- Fleer, 1981

Never really had a thing for Bo Derek, which is a shame because just the idea and execution of this set is so damn sexy. The concept of trading cards - especially non-sports - is already rooted in very specific interests and niches, but Bo's playing on her own terms. There aren't too many differences from card to card; each one depicts Bo in provocative poses or glamour headshots. Additionally, while most card packs came with a sticker, "Here's Bo!" came with little mini-posters.
Why couldn't they've done something like this for Lynda Carter??

THE SOAPS OF ABC (#68) "Confident" -- Star Pics, 1991

I know very little about what's going on here, and I'm not about to go on some heavy research jag. What I do know is that this belonged to my mom, who had a pack's-worth of what I think were just publicity stills of ABC Soap stars. I'm sure I hung onto this particular single of Susan Lucci's abrasively sensual face because she was, indeed, not only the star of All My Children, but the face of all daytime television.

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (#5) "Eileen Treacle" -- Topps, 1999

Easily one of the most divisive movies ever released into the wild, and part of that may derive from how it saturated the culture far beyond soaking wet. And because it was still the 90s, naturally it'd get its own set of cards. Funny thing is that the bulk of the series is just stills from the movie, which, as much as I love it, don't exactly make Pulitzer Prize-winning photographs.
But it did include stuff like this: a facsimile woodcut-type piece of art depicting Eileen Treacle -- a ten-year-old who was pulled into the "shallow waters of Tappy East Creek" by a "pale woman's hand." Unlike any & all other Blair Witch spinoffs or sequels, a little thing like this adds a bit more power and terror to the legend with the grace & subtlety of the original movie.

DECISION 92 (#79) "Major Issue - The Deficit" -- AAA Sports Inc., 1992

What better defines a decade of American culture than politics? (Aside from film, literature, music, fashion, and sports.) Although, in this case, Presidential candidacy was as fun & dumb as any of the other aforementioned enterprises with which we distract ourselves -- and, to drive it home even more, this was the 90s, man. Turning shit into collectible cards not only contributed to the capitalization of every goddamn thing, but this was a time when it somehow seemed important to commemorate every avenue of life. And so, here we are.

9.07.2019

1999: The years start coming and they don't stop coming


"How can you possibly be nostalgic about a concept like 'a little while ago'?"
-
George Carlin

20 years. Doesn't seem that long, does it? Though, understandably, the older you get, a coupla decades is a blink of the eyes. Added to that, it also depends on where you're standing; at 36 years of age, 20 years ago isn't as supercharged as if I were 26.

1999 may've just been the 1990s with higher contrast and maximum color saturation, but stuff like Britney Spears, Geico commercials, and new Star Wars movies don't exactly place me in a nostalgicoma of reminiscent bliss. In fact, when you hold it up next to any 20 year period from the last century, you'll see drastic changes in politics, science, and technology between then & now - but not so much in cultural avenues like fashion, cars, architecture, and especially entertainment. For a moment, compare 1950 to 1970... Or how about 1960 and 1980... They're like different planets, aren't they? But that's a stubborn argument for another time; besides, 1999 has enough of a mouthfeel that it certainly stands out a bit - at least in my own mind. I was in high school, which is a section of life when you're not entirely informed, but you're the most aware. For me, the air smelled of playful violence and abrasive cheapness. One thing that's always been consistent is that media and the culture have always had their sites on the youth, and I was a youth, and despite my own secret little interests and obsessions, the decibel level of everything else was too loud to concentrate. When you're older (or younger, even) you can design & maintain your own bubble, but it's a bitch when you're 16.

So, what was hip? You remember: The Matrix and The Mummy, "No Scrubs" and "Nookie," SpongeBob and Sopranos, mp3s and Y2K... It all seems like a parody of now, doesn't it? But in the Rap-Rock dumpster fire of pre-9/11 pop culture, there were a few things that were weird enough, silly enough, crazy enough, and/or interesting enough to penetrate my unique brand of teenage angst and elitist outlook: Eminem, multiple multiplex visits, and even Ms. Spears were a few of the freak flags that flew over my fortress of solitude - maybe I had the foresight to anticipate which subjects would have the longevity to hold my interest well into my adulthood. Or, I'm incapable of growth.


Speaking of! Back in 2010, I wrote a brief, crabby temper-tantrum about how Entertainment Weekly's declaration that 1999 was "The Year That Changed Movies" was, in fact, not. Though, looking back over the past 20 years, maybe it did -- just not in the way they'd predicted & I'd hoped for. But, once again, that's a stubborn argument for another time. So let us not make any sweeping statements about the lasting impact (or lack thereof) on the new millennium, and just all agree that '99 was a crazyass bananas year for the film & video medium.

Gaining distance from it now, what I take most from it is the unusually high volume of all-time favorite flicks, followed by a shitload of almost-as-good stuff. (Regretfully back-peddling a minute, these statistics immediately took a nosedive the following year and never recovered.) All my favorite directors released something, and people I'd never thought much of - or never heard of - were suddenly doing interesting things. New, competent actors were emerging. A new Star Wars movie had let me down. A horror movie actually scared me. Spacey had gone mainstream. Hanks was overshadowed by an ensemble cast -- as was Tom Cruise. Only one movie was noted for its special effects, while all the others were making waves with satire, human emotion, social commentary, innovative storytelling techniques, and other old-fashioned things like writing, editing, cinematography, and directing. Clearly we weren't done with the established hallmarks of traditional, narrative moviemaking, and while '99 could've marked a shift in originality, it instead was a curtain call for a century of film that would promptly lap itself in the other direction. And while none of these movies really stepped outside the parameters of just plain old mainstream fare (which is the evolution I'm still waiting for), there was a palpable effort toward quality and innovation - whether they worked or not, the passion for risk was as prevalent as it was in 1970s Cinema.
And that's my final answer.

- Paul



1. Magnolia
Still as young and pretty as the day I married her.
This was the direction I wanted to see filmmaking take - which will always be an inarticulate sentiment, though I tried my best to weight it down with my sorta review some years back. And what that confession boiled down to was that I'd never committed to one singular favorite movie, until I did, and still do.
Over the past two decades, I've proudly allowed my choice to define me or 'label' me in the eyes of others - much in the way one's choice of wardrobe or religious or political views will influence the perception of their peers. And I bring this up because there's always been an unspoken, sorta wonderful prejudice when it comes to other people's favorite films - especially when they're passionate - and for movie folks like you & I, it's the most legitimate and satisfying instance that we're allowed to sit back and quietly judge you.

2. The Insider
I ingested several doses of this drug before I started to feel the effects. Initially, I was coming at it from the wrong angle: its dense plot full of whistleblowing, gag orders, and tortious interference wasn't exactly rife with thrills, but something had me coming back again & again. Jess once described it as "not really a movie," and she was exactly right; the 'mood' of this thing is the movie - the high contrast cinematography and the spooky New Age/Techno soundtrack swirl around like smoky oils that give this otherwise dry drama some of the heaviest handmade texture I've seen in any movie ever.
Put it in your mouth, light it up, and you're gonna get your fix.

3. The Blair Witch Project
As usual, it's tough to talk about a movie that's been so talked-about (and so firmly divisive). And let's face it - we're never gonna retrace our steps all the way back to the car...
The series of events depicted are as unsettlingly unpredictable as the camera moves and edits that drive it, and the soundtrack consisting solely of the cold, crunchy woods and screams of terror in the darkness make a pretty strong case as the most causticly creepy campfire tale ever told.

4. The Limey
I'm a fan of simplicity, and I think this was the movie that helped me discover that. The story is so Plain-Jane and straightforward that it's like a blank canvas - allowing all kindsa colorful directing and acting and, most confrontationally, some innovative editing that - like it or not - you won't soon forget.

5. Eyes Wide Shut
I went to the theater three times during its run - with the knowledge that this was the last new Kubrick picture we were gonna get on the big screen. I can't say I didn't thoroughly enjoy the movie, but even at the height of my Kubrickian fandom, I was still ignorant to the simple fact that there were subtexts and subtleties and shots and riddles and pacing choices that I simply was unable to absorb in my initial hysteria. Like all his stuff, it was too big to wrap my arms around in just three measly viewings, and after two decades and countless more engagements, it cuts deep in all the vital areas while still hitting all those ambiguously beautiful notes. Also, a color-saturated cinematography guaranteed to melt your face off every time.

6. Payback
Alright, this is complicated. In '99, Brian Helgeland released Payback, which is a super solid pulp noir/kinda Comedy Thriller that largely satisfies, despite its tones of slapstick and a horrible, distracting blue filter applied in post that makes it look like it was made... now.
Then, in 2007, they released Payback Straight Up: The Director's Cut on DVD: the dramatically restructured original version with much much darker subject matter (and no blue), which ultimately elevates the movie high on the list of best hardboiled revenge flicks of all time. And since it was the original, intended cut, I'm counting it as one of the best of the year (more than the blue one).

7. Office Space
A lot of abrasive, sometimes obnoxious comedies came out this year, but there were a few on the subtle side. The cerebral side. The dry side. I don't know how many of these categories Office Space falls under, but its combination of 'low-key' and 'big laughs' is a style that resonates with me, mmmkay? And looking back on it now, it really was American Beauty without the flimsy dialogue or melodrama; exploring the same themes of monotony, freedom, and growth and regression as counterparts. And, how it does, indeed, feel good to be a gangsta.

8. Bringing Out the Dead
Either it was Marty's moodiest piece of work he'd done, or it happened to coincide beautifully with my own mood at the time.
The pace & editing felt less dynamic and/or inspired than Casino or Kundun, and John Goodman and Patricia Arquette turn in uncharacteristically lame performances - but again, I was in a mood.
Still though, between this, Cape Fear, and eventually Shutter Island, the guy's fully capable of committing to a straightforward Horror picture were he so inclined. (Though I feel like that probability has passed us by. Or, I could just be in a mood.)

9. The Sixth Sense
There are two things I take from this movie: one is that it really does feel like the Children's Horror cinema I grew up with (Something Wicked This Way Comes, The Lady in White, even The Good Son kinda), which is a weird, intangible atmosphere to grasp, let alone depict in an original story. Secondly - and I've been saying it since Muriel - is that Toni Collette fuckin' rocks, and her peers need to start congratulating her with various statues. The twist was its own moment, but the scene in the car between her & Haley Joel was a strong enough ending for this or any other picture.

10. Galaxy Quest
Count this one as a pleasant surprise (though I think the poor marketing had everyone misled).
Three Amigos in space is a good premise (though a pretty easy one), but the parody portion is spread so far & wide that no rock is left unturned: spaceship functions with no purpose, science vernacular with no substance, and the depth and intensity of nerd fanaticism is all played not just for laughs, but as a cohesive and compelling story.
It's a crazy cast, but the idea of Sigourney fighting aliens in outer space is a solid gag that the movie maturely never calls out.

11. Being John Malkovich
This should've been the wakeup call for original screenplays in the coming years. And in many cases, it was: though most of the ripoffs it inspired usually failed in balancing the formula of weird and quirky (they were usually too much of one and not enough the other). Even this movie wobbles a bit in the third act as it tries to maintain its abstract composure. Even so, it still Malkovich to be the Malkovich Malkovich that had yet to Malkovich.

12. The Green Mile
Preachy. Vulgar. Manipulative. Overwrought. Without these characteristics, it would've been a pretty ho-hum piece of puff, but instead it's the Scifi Shawshank mashup we didn't know we needed till it set our heads ablaze. Weirder, punk rock Stephen King never gets this much exposure or prestige (those're left to the made-for-TV folks), but if this is the result of big studio doings, there needs to be more of it.

13. The Straight Story
This wasn't an entirely new shade of Lynch, but this is two coats of broad strokes of his fascination with his Middle American roots. There's still plenty of smoke and flames and electricity and astronomy and dead animals to keep us oriented, but its core value is that the guy always knew and still knows how to tell a 'straight story' without any abstractions or dark subject matter.

14. The Iron Giant
It's not a Disney/Warner Bros. coproduction, but it sure-as-shit could be - and that's a great thing. A nostalgic ambience permeates this entire thing (as was shamelessly intended), and the effects are both comforting and engrossing -- and both of those sentiments are put to the test with a climax that separates the men from the boys.

15. Election
Very few movies capture the true flavor of high school - and Election is not one of those few. But, that's what makes it what it is: its hyperrealism steps so far over the line that this supposed Teen Comedy (full of teens and comedy) is so absurd and existentially painful that you can't actually define it.
On second thought, maybe it is like high school.

16. The Talented Mr. Ripley
The Paranoid Thriller genre had started to dry up by the end of the decade -- which made this jazzy approach to the formula so stimulating. Though its greatest accomplishment is that it's told through the eyes of a disturbed character, and so, logically, the story itself is often convoluted and disorienting - and very few movies support character development in such a challenging, ballsy way.

17. Fight Club
I don't care how closely it follows the book: the final act of this movie is pretty tedious and unmemorable. In fact, the middle sags pretty low to the ground as well. But it is on this list, because, even to this day, the first 30 minutes is some of the most fun I've ever had at the movies. And while I don't think it would have been wise to keep that pace for an entire feature, I'd just wished it'd gone in any other direction than the one it took.

18. Three Kings
A little less Platoon and a little more Catch-22 is an equation I'm usually down for - and disregarding all strengths and weaknesses, that's a fair observation of this decidedly cute war picture.
Despite its Desert Storm setting, this is the most "1999" movie on this list - it's shot & cut like a Sugar Ray video - but it's most notable to me as the first time I started to notice Clooney and Wahlberg as not just solid thespians, but also clearly interested in doing only cool and/or important stuff. (This assessment would eventually prove to be only sorta true.)

19. Felicia's Journey
So rarely has "journey" been such a prophetic forewarning. The biggest bite this movie has is that however it was sold to us couldn't possibly scratch the surface of the path it takes; it picks us up & then drops us off somewhere with no hope of ever finding our way back.
& that's all I wanna disclose.

20. Flawless
The movie's not that great. Actually, it's kinda lame. Which is a shame, because the list of great Phil Hoffman performances is so extensive that it's hard to pick favorites. But I gotta say, if someone ever needed proof of his talents, I think this is the movie I'd show 'em.

5.18.2019

MY POSTER PAST :: part 5

It started to be kind of a drag trying to categorize my youth into structured little genres, connecting the dots that're barely there, defining a cohesive thread from one poster to the next... What pretentious crap.
For the most part, I was never seeking out a 'theme' for my walls (Beatles project aside) - prints just kinda came at me, and my interests and obsessions were sprawling enough to accommodate a steady consumption of wall art - resulting in a chaotic collage where the only connection was me.
This is actually kinda freeing & I wish I could apply this level of relaxed discipline to all my lists and stories: Here are 10 random posters from my past.

- Paul

Reservoir Dogs

I'd never waited so anxiously for something to come in the mail (which is a mega statement). I got this in '95 - right at the height of my 15 minute Dogs obsession - a time when merchandise from an ultra-low budget indie was pretty scarce; it was special.
However... It does have a good look; the cheapness of the production and the gritty subject matter kinda match the idea of what looks like black spray paint on a cardboard box. But what the hell, why is Chris Penn suited up like the rest of them (which is who I assumed this photoshopped, disembodied head belonged to). It's dumb, though not nearly as upsetting and frustrating as when I was 12. And don't even get me started on the dickheaded tagline...

Raphael

In 1990, Prints Plus, a nationwide chain (I think) that sold just posters and art prints, opened in my mall.
"Finally! My kinda store!" Even my parents were impressed - we all went down the first day they lifted the gate, and we all managed to find something for ourselves: mine being the most important.
I made a bit of a life decision that day: after years of collecting all the figures and wearing various apparel adorning all four characters, these standalone publicity shots backed me into a corner that I'd already been kinda standing in. My decision had already been made, and without hesitation, I came out publicly regarding which of these Turtle boys was my favorite.

The Blair Witch Project

Cut to ten years later, and Prints Plus is having their "Going Out of Business Sale."
It was sad, but it was okay: my interest in posters started to fall outside of the parameters of Dawson's Creek pinups and what-if depictions of James Dean and Marilyn Monroe hanging out with each other. In other words, the mainstream market had dried up.
Just for the sake of making one last (dirt-cheap) purchase, I found at least one print that was relevant to me. It's not the ugliest thing in the world, but it felt good to represent a flick I loved that everyone else seemed to be against at the time.

Terminator 2

I had the classic, more popular image of Arnie on the bike with "I'M BACK" in big red sans serif font. Even still, I had to have this goofy bit of business too because it was the closest thing to having an Endoskeleton poster that was available -- and that's what I really wanted.

Visitors Map Guide to Jurassic Park

This movie had a series of five or six posters available in stores - like all the best movies did. I'm not sure how many I had, but I sure had to have this one, because it was the only one to feature the Dilophosaurus, who was the coolest character in the film.
The best thing about these posters is that they're just cheap-looking and ugly enough that you could imagine them being for sale in the actual Jurassic Park gift shop. And if I know Steven like you know Steven, that was probably intentional.

Frankenstein

Suncoast Video Store was loud, claustrophobic, and overpriced - they still had some cool shit from time to time though.
I broke my own rule and picked this up without having seen (this version of) the movie. (Truth be told, I didn't see it until October 2018). But this was during the early 90s when Universal Monsters were all taking over the 80s video slasher slots, and I was wicked caught up in it. So anything having to do with any iteration was a must.
It's also one of the absolute few on this continuing list that's still on my wall today.

Beavis and Butt-Head's Room

I'm not sure they were ever as funny as I wanted them to be, and at the time, being surrounded by 5th graders everyday, incessantly peeling off bad impressions forever, didn't help. Still, it felt hip to watch it, and once in a while it could be a lotta fun. I also liked the artwork & they were easy to draw, which made them perfect for poster form.
And while this was not at all a representation of the condition in which I kept my own room, I'd always had fun picking out & studying all the details like a Highlights magazine.

Batman Returns

Ah, here's another monumental series of posters in which I ensconced myself - (it's a fucking Batman movie). Having all of them (except the lone portrait of the Dark Knight himself - I was infinitely more interested in the villains), they created a dark, glossy, gothic contrast across my room that gave me more joy than most other art ever had (or has) given me.

Blondage

The freedom to purchase and display risqué pinups in my bedroom at age 11 admittedly prompted some laughable overkill - which, in turn, spiraled into less discriminating taste: eventually I was just buying what they had. To be totally honest, this poster didn't accurately represent my taste in women (or posters). It's colorful and Summery and timely, but it was a bit of a throwaway.
Though, had I known at the time that these young ladies were real-deal XXX stars, I probably woulda thought it was more badass.

Independence Day

Someday I'm going to discuss in great detail my own complex feelings about this lame duck movie (which is something I'm dying to do). And without a rigid frame of reference, it's hard to talk about exactly why I bought this print, or the feelings it gave me as I gazed upon it in my room. But what it grinds down to is that it's a striking image; it was impressive in the movie, and it makes an impressive poster. And I look at it now with the same thought I had then: I wish the image were from a different, better film.