STATIC SHOTS

8 Scary Plane Crashes

I've been meaning to share this list for a long time, but there keeps being "incidents" that make it insensitive. The truth is that there'll never be an entirely appropriate and unblemished stretch of time to celebrate aviation disasters, but that's sorta the point: I've never been in a plane crash, and Film and Television have all but guaranteed that I'll never allow myself to be in the position where I could be. It certainly looks like one of the least fun ways to die, or even live, and when that's conveyed through the screen in various ways over the years, I think it's worth itemizing. 

- Paul

LOST

In describing the show, "plane crash" appears in the first sentence (and then probably never mentioned again). At the time, it boasted the most expensive TV pilot of all time (largely due to its airliner wreckage) though throughout the series we get several different accounts of this crash, and each one is intense and harrowing. 

Alive

If these were ranked as Scariest or Most Graphic, this is always number one. I experienced this in a movie theater when I was 9 years old and it definitely made me uneasy about air travel. Eventually it became an HBO Flavor of the Month and I can certainly attest that repetition never dulled my fears. 

Fight Club

This midair collision made an appearance in the movie's very short (and very brilliant) Theatrical Teaser (which was just a dizzying assemblage of the more surreal moments from the film). I love that trailer, probably more than the movie. In fact they shoulda rolled credits right after this scene, and it'd probably crack my Top 10 Films list. 

Catch-22

McWatt kamikazes his plane directly into Hungry Joe, chopping him in half and leaving only a weary pair of legs. This is before he slams the plane into the side of a cliff. It's all very dark and gruesome and effective partly because, like all the wizardry in this movie, it's all practical effects/trick photography. Still - poor Hungry Joe. 

STAR WARS Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

You could argue that it's not a literal "plane" crash but I don't have time for your bitching -- it's an aircraft collision, which is technically the basis of most Outer Space Science Fiction Action (i.e. STAR WARS). I've seen enough nameless pilots crash kooky spaceships into miniaturized plastic surfaces to fully minimize the spectacle, but this movie answered the question that was always in the back of my mind - "What would it look like to travel at light speed into something?"

Cast Away

For the most part it feels a little tacky and cartoonish -- Zemeckis's lust for digital effects would be his undoing, but his talents as an old fashioned Film Director are the saving graces of this scene. Moments before the jarring malfunction, Tom tends to a bandaid on his finger, drawing our attention into something small and quiet, and by the time it seems obviously ominous, it's too late. 

World War Z

Dude, fuck "snakes on plane", try fending off modern day maniac zombies in mid air with nowhere to go - it's not like you can board up the windows between Business and Economy. It's truly great suspense when tossing a live grenade down the aisle of a commercial airliner is actually the safest course of action. 

The Right Stuff

We don't actually see the moment of impact for the totally rad looking Lockheed NF-104A, but its high altitude engine failure and frenetic tailspin back down to Earth is gut wrenching enough. Still not the scariest part though: Chuck Yeager ejects from the plane still amidst the clouds and plummets to the ground, unable to pull his chute because his head's on fire. Is that a man? You damn right it is.

10 Pretty Poisons

Potions, tonics, elixirs, toxic waste - all the good stuff that did cool things and usually came in an even cooler bottle. They weren't always used for good (actually, looking them over, they all turned bad) but man they made for good Cinema. Salud!

- Paul

Formula 86

The Witches

I don't want any mouse powers, nor do I want to inflict mouse mutations on anyone else. I'm not at all interested in the mouse thing. I've only ever been here for the impossibly small glass bottle - something that cute and ornate can only ever contain something fantastical and dangerous. I want it. 

The Elixir of Life

Death Becomes Her

Here's another race where the small beautiful bottle comes out ahead. Besides, its effects are questionable at best: perky breasts & no wrinkles vs. cracking & peeling & potentially spending eternity as a severed head. 

Gleemonex

Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy

Indicative of the 1990s but also predicting the future: a pill that puts you in your happiest memory (the side effect is that it traps you there, turning you into a drooling zombie). Put this on the market today and the majority of the population would embrace it specifically for the zombification consequences. Predictably my even dumber ass just likes the pretty red pill. 

TGRI Mutagen

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

It had many iterations, backstories, and colors, but here in its own movie its appearance ranges from Creepy Crawlers goop to glow stick fluid, making everything even more aggressively 1991. (Shredder demonstrates that it can be taken orally.)

Magic Flying Dust

Santa Claus: The Movie

It's the secret ingredient that makes the reindeer fly (as well as unsuspecting children and eventually a greedy John Lithgow). It's also flammable/explosive so it's probably a bitch for digestion, but I adore it because in its purest form it's a sparkly gold sand that can only be enhanced by 1980s special effects. 

Torpedo Juice

The Master

The ingredients range from paint thinner to rocket fuel to god knows what else, and there are definitely some allusions to the nature of its taste, but it clearly has a seductive "power" with a promise of changing your mood. Or potentially killing you. 

Vegetable Medley

Gremlins 2: The New Batch

Time for my periodic push to make the Vegetable Gremlin a star. The Splice O' Life laboratory is really the key to the whole movie - it's how we got an actual variety of gremlins. While every deformity was the result of exposure to some serum or chemical, I single out the vegetable potion because a.) he's one of my favorite gremlins, and b.) I imagine it tasting like V8 (which isn't actually something I like but it has personality). 

Bio-Restorative Formula

Swamp Thing

Another green glowing goo from the pages of comics meant to turn men into monsters (for better or worse). It's basically baked into Dr. Holland's body, transforming him into Swamp Thing, while Arcane (the villain) just straight up drinks it. Results may vary.

The Lazarus Potion

Casper

Technically fuel for a machine that turns ghosts into living humans - you don't even need the body, it's all inclusive! I honestly find the set design in this movie to be really lame and fake, but this beautiful heavy duty glass bottle with the illuminated Hawaiian Punch is the best effect they offer. 

Adrenochrome

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas 

I've no real experience with drugs and this movie (or book) doesn't really sell me on them. However, if the setting's right (kitsch Vegas hotel populated by anti-drug law enforcement) then I suppose I could be tempted by a little glass bottle of anything. 

Y2K, throw your hands up at me

In the year 2000... Ketchup was green, Florida was red, and Pantone's color of the year was Cerulean Blue. Guess you had be there - and chances are, a lot of you were! One fact that's come into focus since I started publishing these commemorative observations is that the worth of any given year is highly subjective; war, disease, economics, reality TV - whatever shape the world was in was only as good or bad as the condition of my own personal bubble. For me, 2000 has a few blurry spots; I'd lost a considerable amount of weight due to an eating disorder, I began to engage in more social interactions amongst my peers as well as romantic relationships, I began my senior year of high school, I was earning my first taxable paychecks. But because I'm me, a lot of these developments feel worn and faded for the reason that they hang on the hooks of an era in Pop Culture that I found to be bland and uninspired. 

In hindsight it becomes apparent that I really began to lose touch with Television after Seinfeld ended in '98. I turned 17 in February of '00 and so I wasn't about to embrace the likes of Bob the Builder, Dora the Explorer, or SpongeBob SquarePants. But at the same time I had zero interest in CSI, The West Wing, or The Sopranos. And I don't know what age group was popping the sleeping pills that were Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? and Survivor but they certainly weren't capturing the attention span of an angry teenager with better stuff to do. So that presents the question: what exactly was I doing? 

I'd all but ignored or dismissed the music of the 1990s, so it either had something to do with my age or the way it saturated the zeitgeist but I began to notice new songs and artists in this year - both ironically and genuinely. Actually, from my point of view, the defining cultural sounds and imagery that best illustrate the start of the 21st Century would be the content of TRL. Britney, Christina, *NSYNC, and The Backstreet Boys made it seem as though Teen Pop was the only option. But there was also Destiny's Child and Alicia Keys. Linkin Park and Papa Roach. The White Stripes and Radiohead. Then all of it would become sanitized and repackaged into a compact disc of Now That's What I Call Music, leaving one Marshall Mathers to point and laugh at the whole parade. 

Despite the quality or actual longevity of these bands and artists, almost all of them remain relevant today, and it's because they fall into the net that is The New Millennium. Even one hit wonders from 25 years ago still swirl around the playlists marked "Today". So far this century has felt like one cohesive glob, but there are some abstract and indefinable qualities that make 2000 stand alone as a unique era unto itself; it was no longer the 90s but the tone of the decade that followed wouldn't fully emerge till September of 2001. So here we were, with our trucker hats and PlayStations, celebrating the union of Brad and Jen and praying for the safety of Elián González. A Big Mac cost $2.24. The computers didn't crash. Jennifer Lopez was always somewhere on TV. What more could we ask for? 

We've all sang the song and danced the dance of "The Films of 1999" - that sparkling gem of innovation and achievement. But even more memorable than the masterpieces that came out that year was the hope and optimism surrounding the future of Motion Pictures - that we were perhaps at the dawn of a new age where risk takers were blessed with the money and technology to realize this potential Renaissance. But we're not gathered here today to lament for the eleventy millionth time how that prophecy did not come to fruition, but I bring it up because by the end of 2000 it was glaringly apparent to me that not only did it not live up to the previous year's output, but that it was perhaps the weakest year for movies I'd witnessed since I started paying attention to such things. I mean it was partially unfair to hold it to the standards of '99 (the fact that I first saw Magnolia in January of '00 may've presented a greater contrast) but this was ridiculous. There weren't even any real standouts to me at the time, and I saw a ton. I remember really liking a handful of new releases but I couldn't shake the feeling that they would've been like window dressing in any year from the '90s. And now, 25 years later, as I stand back and scan the directory of Y2K Cinema, I find that I was mostly correct in my original assessment; I still managed to squeeze out a pretty eclectic Top 20, but in addressing the year 2000 as a whole, no, I was not entertained. 

- Paul

1. Unbreakable

I was not at all part of the Sixth Sense cult - I thought it was good, but not in a way that had me fully prepared for this. I think what stood out to me at the time (and still) was the directing; I was becoming more hyperaware by the minute at that age, and stuff like movement and composition and overall mise en scène were of utmost importance, and there is nary a shot in this entire movie that isn't remarkable or clever to some degree (minus those parting title cards...). 

2. Wonder Boys

Another pleasant surprise that was a bit different from what I was expecting. I remember being turned on by how small the scope of it is: a dialogue driven character study over the course of a few days was very much what I was into at the time. It was marketed as a Dramedy and I sorta digested it that way, but when I revisit it now I'm beginning to recognize it as one of my favorite straightforward Comedies. 

3. Shaft

I showed up for the novelty of Sam Jackson fulfilling this no-brainer casting decision, and what I got was a sharp and exciting triumph that continues to be one of the best Action Movies of this century. I was expecting a low-key Blaxploitation parody but it takes itself just seriously enough to be equal parts smart and fun. The big takeaway from its amazing ensemble cast was that Christian Bale was fast becoming a favorite actor. 

4. O Brother, Where Art Thou?

This was still when the Coens could do no wrong, and it was of my opinion that this movie continued that streak. The soundtrack deserved all the praise and prosperity it received, but as usual I was most impressed with the writing; their playful execution of regional and era-specific dialects will always be the first thing I think of when I think of them in their heyday. 

5. Best in Show

It's like "The White Album" of Mockumentaries; not only is it the best, but everyone's contribution is unique and at the top of their game, creating one cohesive collage of absurdity. It's so fitting that the main thread is a contest because you can't help but root for a favorite performance. 

6. American Psycho

Even people who read the book didn't know what to expect. I remember some initial disappointment that it wasn't a gorefest, but instead it quickly identified itself as the Black Comedy it was supposed to be -- and that humor landed gracefully into the canon of Pop Culture, due largely to the talents of its lead actor. 

7. Sexy Beast

British Gangster Films always seemed to flirt with surrealism, but this one just fucks. I can't pretend Ben Kingsley doesn't steal the show but that's mostly amplified by Ray Winstone's fear and fatigue. These two deserved their own BBC miniseries. 

8. Cast Away

A Hanks/Zemeckis reunion held a lotta weight, so personally there was gonna be some amount of letdown. And there still is; I've always felt underwhelmed by the final act, and excessive CGI makes the entire scenario a lot less threatening, but it's still easily one of the most engrossing movies of the year (and probably this century). 

9. Traffic

Storytelling by way of color scheme! Soderbergh certainly has a look, and he, along with cinematographer Peter Andrews (wink wink), went hard and reached the mountaintop with this one. For as heavy-handed as it is, it inspired decades of copycats who never seemed to do it as well as it was done here. 

10. Ginger Snaps

The "Teenage Werewolf" trend wasn't new, but this was an admirably fresh take on it - at least to me. And from my perspective this was one of the worst times for Horror, maybe ever, so a clever Indie Gem with rich performances and practical effects actually seems that much more miraculous in hindsight. 

11. Memento

There were some entries that felt clever and daring enough to feel like they came outta the 90s. Sometimes maybe a little too clever. Like, cutesy? I will say Chris Nolan on a shoestring budget is something we have very little of in this world and it's a challenge I'd like to see him create for himself again in the future. 

12. Snatch

I was embarrassed about liking it at the time, but I thought it was pretty funny and had a great soundtrack; the Huey Piano Smith closer is inspiring. It all felt very much like a mood of the moment; I never saw another Guy Ritchie movie after this one but along with Lock, Stock in '98 it felt like the appropriate curtain call for the Violent Gangster Comedy craze. 

13. The Beaver Trilogy

Technically made in 1979, and 1981, and again (yes, again) in 1984, the three shorts were complied into a trilogy and began the Festival Circuit in 2000, making this the most creative and ambitious passion project of the year. 

14. Amores Perros

Imaginative, provocative, and, of course, dark and depressing, Iñárritu gave us an unflinching debut with a unique voice and a sharp eye. I didn't know it at the time but he was the real hope for the new century. 

15. What Lies Beneath

And we also had seasoned veterans trying to stay ay the top of their game. Obviously Zemeckis fell in love with computer animation long before this but here's where he began to use it in frivolous ways (or the technology itself began to falter). Either way, at its core this is a wonderful, twisty, old-fashioned tale with remarkable performances driving it home. 

16. Cherry Falls

While Horror was still in the midst of "Ironic Slasher" mode, it was a joy to find something that wasn't just a music video for a soundtrack album. All the tropes are still present but what keeps this afloat is its truly wacky premise and collection of colorful character actors. Additionally (or probably especially) I'd present this as further proof of just how captivating and unique Brittany Murphy was. 

17. Requiem For a Dream

π, now in color! I remember reading about this in '99 as part of that grandiose promise that Film was only gonna get more inventive and exciting. And to be fair, every shot and every cut and every sound effect had my attention, but definitely to be filed away as a neat exercise. It remains in that folder to this day. 

18. Mission: Impossible II

I still can't shake that initial rush of how much more I liked it than the first one. It was at this point that I'd felt John Woo had become a parody of himself, and that other people were in on the joke as well, and that maybe this is just what these kindsa movies had become; it was the only big, loud Summer Blockbuster that year that stayed with me, and that's because it was noticeably silly. 

19. Scarlet Diva

Art imitating life imitating whatever the hell this is. Originally a kinda funny kinda sexy kinda weird faux documentary, and now through the lens of a quarter century worth of sobering reality, it apparently wasn't funny or sexy at all. The fact this this is a public diary entry gives it a gravitas that, admittedly, makes it more interesting. 

20. In the Mood For Love

In terms of tone, texture, and themes, one could call it a claustrophobic Barry Lyndon -- or at least I do. Were this to take place in the contemporary Western World it would have been a raunchy melodrama, but in its 1960s Hong Kong setting it's a paced tragedy, and that manages to make it more effective. 

Five Fun Foods From Forty Year Old Films

Did I come up with this post just as an excuse to use that deliciously alliterative title? No, not entirely (though I won't admit to what percentage). I celebrated 1985 in full on its 35th Anniversary, and unless Biff still has the Sports Almanac, 1985 probably remains unchanged. Me, I've probably changed some in the last 5 years - I've certainly tweaked my Top 20 of '85 Films but I'm not carrying that baggage up these stairs every time my mind changes slightly (that's what Letterboxd is for I guess). One thing that certainly hasn't changed is my weird fascination with movie foods - as in foods that appear on screen in mainstream movies. I'm quickly becoming the Mr. Skin of cinematic snacks (and I'm extremely ok with this). But really it was an excuse to revisit such a monumental movie year -- it's still early in 2025 so I'm sure I'll find more ways to do it again. In the meantime here are 5 completely-obvious-but-fun-nonetheless moments when Reagan-era sustenance took center stage. 

- Paul

Bacon, eggs, pancakes, toast, strawberries, Mr. T Cereal

Pee-wee's Big Adventure

The pain of this punchline has haunted me since I was a child; Pee-wee used what I'm guessing is a month's worth of gas & electricity to construct a complete breakfast garnished with a corn-based novelty cereal, and he takes one bite. I know that's the bit but man I hate when food goes to waste in the movies as much as I do in real life (I can't even watch when Kevin McCallister abandons his entire Macaroni & Cheese without a single forkful).

Three sandwiches, potato chips, an apple, a banana, chocolate chip cookies, milk, Coke

The Breakfast Club

Surprised as you may be, no, I have zero interest in Ally Sheedy's Cap'n Crunch/Pixie Stix sandwich - the consistency alone puts me off. I'm certainly not vying for Claire's sushi and I'm not a fan of soup or apple juice so we'll let Brian keep his four food groups. Technically I would be having Bender's lunch of absolutely nothing at all, but for the purposes of this list we'll say Andrew's massive caloric intake of mostly traditional items is the most appealing; I could certainly polish off three sandwiches as long as I'm not expected to eat a whole bag of Matt's Chocolate Chip Cookies. 

Burger - medium rare, coffee

After Hours

Another example of perfectly good grub going to waste -- perfectly great grub most likely; some hearty beef and black coffee in a Soho diner in the middle of a rainy night could set you straight. Misfortune and happenstance no doubt prevented Paul from having an otherwise incredible evening - he coulda got with Rosanna Arquette, Teri Garr, and Catherine O'Hara almost consecutively had fate not dealt him such a shitty hand. 

Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry milkshakes

Back to the Future

Forget George's wimpy chocolate milk or Marty's crazy futuristic beverages like Tab and Pepsi Free - I'd bet you a hundred gigawatts that Lou's Diner would have kickass milkshakes. If for no better reason (and there may not even be one), this is good ol' 1955 - there's nothing "healthy" or "vegan" or "lactose-free" going on here; hell they're probably packed with animal fat and egg yolks. Baby Boomers may've aged faster but that's because they actually lived goddammit. 

Baby Ruth

The Goonies

Nothing involving Sloth seemed particularly appetizing - his damp platter of floor food seemed grosser than the Castle Freak cuisine. What does seem exceptionally appetizing is a fresh Baby Ruth -- though not just any Baby Ruth, but one in that solid white 1985 wrapper with the bold red letters. Nabisco paid $100,000 for that shot you're looking at above (which ironically was compromised in the pan & scan versions) and it works on me to the point that I will seek out a Baby Ruth... only to be disappointed by the bland modern packaging of right now. Nostalgia is a deceptive bitch.

STATIC SHOTS

1984: It's The Golden Country -- almost

1984 did not turn out the way George Orwell had predicted... Or did it? 

There's your tagline. Or how about simply Truth is stranger than fiction.

The world had its share of plight: war, famine, assassination. Foreign debts, homeless vets. AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz. The inaugural Police Academy movie. It was bad but it wasn't a full-blown dystopia, and not nearly as Orwellian as it's become with each passing decade. So if you were lucky enough to not be hungry or dying or taken hostage during this year, there was plenty around to entertain and enlighten. 

I was a year old so I didn't know what the hell was going on, and if I did I can't remember; probably watching Hill Street Blues and filling my diaper. But if you've kept up with this series you know that I or you or anyone can make approximations based on time and place; I'm sure that outside of working imaginary retail on a Fisher-Price cash register I maintained my steady diet of HBO, MTV, and VCR. So what does that spell: lotsa Tina Turner and Thompson Twins, Meryl Streep and Matt Dillon, Who's The Boss? and Cheers. 

Parents (and by "parents" I mean me) will scrutinize and compare the conditions of the environment surrounding their own kids vs. how it was way back when; not in any malicious or resentful way (though some parents do) but just as a highly invested observer - on a large sociological scope but also on the more intimate domestic level. At a glance, when my child was one year old he was surrounded by telescreens spewing misinformation and couldn't breathe the air in a public setting. He didn't know or care beyond the song & dance of his sheltered reality, and I was blessed to have that same outlook and maintain that innocent ignorance for my own first few years. And it's that very outlook that grownups still crave: we attach it to cartoons and pop songs and call it "nostalgia" and we'll sit and watch a new Ghostbusters or Beverly Hills Cop movie not for quality entertainment but to role-play the singular time in our lives when nothing was expected of us and the only evils of the world came in the form of a 100 ft. marshmallow man. 

So no, it was not like Orwell's novel; the year capped off with a buncha rich celebrities chanting "feed the world" so society as a whole wasn't physically or psychologically repressed, and I think the movies reflected that: a lotta fantasy mixed in with supernatural threats. Movies about dancing and mermaids; lots of fluffy escapism but it all had substance, and that substance was rooted more in raw originality and expert storytelling than in any political or sanctimonious subtext. Unfettered, intelligent Entertainment. For the most part. 

A year of icons! We were introduced to Axel Foley, Gizmo, Freddy Krueger, the T-800, Mr. Miyagi, Buckaroo Banzai, Boogaloo Shrimp, Booger, and Slimer. Indiana Jones took a brief Nazi break, Prince and Mozart became cinematic rock stars, and everybody cut footloose. 80s gonna 80s I guess. Even my Top 20 list of mainstream blockbusting excitement can't hold all the colorful classics of contemporary cinema. That's obviously because they're not all winners in my book, but the ones that are had the tools and had the talent to make 1984 one helluva standout year. 

- Paul

1. Ghostbusters

A pinnacle of 1980s American Cinema as well as global popular culture, and my favorite Comedy of all time. No surprises there, but I never tire of stressing its effectiveness as a Horror Movie; the 80s is forever linked to its low budget Slasher fare, but when the scary movies went big, they went hard. When this film decides to be serious it doesn't hold back and has enough shit to turn you white - it approaches the level of Poltergeist or Aliens, and unlike something like Beetlejuice only sometimes does the comedy spill over into the terror. It's that tonal imbalance that cranks the contrast in this "Dark Comedy." 

2. Starman

On the short list of movies that cause me to shed a tear - largely due to Jack Nitzsche's gut wrenching music score. But there's a lotta things that come to mind with this film. Firstly it's one of the best Food Movies of all time (sandwiches, pies, milkshakes). It's also endlessly quotable and I've been pulling lines from it since I could talk. But now in hindsight (or maybe even upon its release) it's a terrific reminder that Carpenter never had to fall back on shocks and scares to tell a story or even create a mood; even with the Science Fiction stuff aside, it's still his style and it works effectively across the board. 

3. The Bounty

You can compare it to the other film versions of this story but I don't think it matters - everything about this interpretation is exactly my speed: the music, the pace, the set design and costumes, and particularly the acting. I'll easily nominate this as Mel Gibson's best performance, but I'll take a deep breath and shut my eyes and say it's also Anthony Hopkins's best performance - both of them outacting Liam Neeson and Daniel Day-Lewis, no less. 

4. Romancing the Stone

Zemeckis's first blockbuster - and all without Spielberg's help(!) which is most surprising as it's mostly a lighter, cuter Indiana Jones. And funnier! And I think that's the biggest draw in this movie for me; I'm not impervious to the solid action sequences or the chemistry between Michael and Kathleen, but this easily works as the second best Comedy of the year. 

5. Blood Simple

As it's happened with several astounding films: after seeing Fargo I ventured back to discover (and rediscover) the rest of their filmography. Regardless (or because) of the two films' similarities I was even more taken with this extremely competent and confident freshman effort that could've appeared anywhere in their career and it would've still felt just as strong. Actual screen time be damned, I consider M. Emmett Walsh to be the lead, and we should treasure this movie just for that alone. 

6. Stop Making Sense

A Concert "Film" you say? Of which there are so few, at least many of any pertinence. It's one thing to capture a music concert with a handful of video cameras - that's an approach and it gets the job done - but to harness the energy of witnessing Rock Gods in the flesh and translate it into a tangible medium takes the finesse and enthusiasm of a band's mega fan -- i.e. Jonathan Demme + Talking Heads. It's not a Rock Opera or even a Documentary, but it feels like it has a story.

7. The NeverEnding Story

Whether it's sinking in The Swamps of Sadness or hiding in the attic of a public school, no other piece of art has ever so accurately captured the abstract wonder and terror of childhood (particularly growing up in the 1980s -- or maybe any time). That may be rooted in my own nostalgia and perhaps not everyone's kindertrauma was accompanied by a majestic Giorgio Moroder soundtrack, but every creature and event and emotion in this movie felt symbolic of trying to survive in a hostile and beautiful world. I could relate. 

8. Breakin'

All of the Dance Movies of the 1980s, even the breakdancing ones, took themselves way too seriously. Big surprise: this one does not. And that's not to minimize it in any way: it has romance, domestic strife, conflict, a villain, intentional comedy, ridiculously engrossing dance sequences, and a soundtrack that goes head-to-head with the best of the rest in this genre. It knows what's important and doesn't pretend to be anything more. 

9. The Natural

This was a time when Sports (particularly Baseball) could believably be depicted as Fantasy and I was raised on it like milk and Jesus. Baseball was very much in the air for all of my youth, but this movie really gave it the weight and grandeur of its supposed mysticism, as it's a not-too-subtle fairytale with a literal Hollywood ending. That's not to say it's ineffective; Randy Newman's music score alone is enough to make you believe that it's more than just a game (or a movie). 

10. Gremlins

Weirdly released into theaters the same day as Ghostbusters as they both epitomized the brazen genre-bending trend of "Children's Horror" that became synonymous with the time. I remember thinking it was scary, and it turns out I was right; the suspense and violence is not an accident but an intelligent and generous choice that precisely hit the mark on what kids find exciting. For me it lives in the shadow of its sequel, but of the two it's definitely more frightening. 

11. The Terminator

Speaking of wholly original films dwarfed by their follow-ups: I, like many I think, am a much bigger fan of the second one, but any time I revisit this one I'm reminded of how some of the strengths of Judgement Day were very much the backbone of the original - in particular the legitimate edge-of-your-seat tension, as well as the use of creatively gross violence that puts all the slashers to shame. 

12. Bachelor Party

One of the earliest movies I can remember - partly because it was on all the time. But even taking myself and its familiarity out of it, it still ranks Number One in its subgenre: the now-defunct Sex Comedy. It's nearly a parody of every other movie like it because of how many gags they packed into it, up to and including that very satire. 

13. A Nightmare on Elm Street

There had been supernatural villains before, but the whole stabbing method of massacre tied the entire tang of the decade together. And finally, someone with style, with motivation, with personality; nearly halfway through the 1980s but it's hard to imagine the period without Freddy. Johnny Depp's liquidation remains to be the most outrageous kill in the series, the genre, and maybe all Film.

14. Amadeus

I'll say it every time: Biopics are trash - particularly ones about celebrities (from any era). They typically just connect the dots with all the clichés and allow some anecdotes to masquerade as filmmaking. And then there's a movie like this that builds from the ground up with its own mood and interpretations and abstractions to the point that the bibliography is buried under a beautiful piece of art. 

15. Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo

But wait, there's more! Leave it to The Cannon Group to strike while the dance floor is hot. The first one was lighthearted, but this one is just ridiculous - that is, to say, dancing had a plot function the first time around whereas this movie is a full-blown Busby Berkeley musical that reads as a series of music videos strung together. Believe the hype. Believe in the beat. 

16. Body Double

Possibly the most DePalma that DePalma's ever been. No movie was safe from the fads and fashions of the moment, so this is easily the closest we'll ever get to 1980s Hitchcock. All derivative aspects aside, I always found Brian to be pretty silly, so this movie works extra for me as it weaponizes that silliness in a way that could only be intentional. 

17. Beverly Hills Cop

Once again, the power and potential of this eventual franchise was perfected in the second installment, making this one now feel sluggish and convoluted. Regardless, Eddie proved he could reel in the buffoonery just enough to be a Cool Action Star. And the chemistry between him and Judge Reinhold and John Ashton has become a screenwriting model at this point. 

18. Rhinestone

I will admit - assert even - that the personal appeal of this movie is its star power: I would watch Dolly Parton or Sylvester Stallone in just about anything. But put them together? Ohhh fuhgeddaboudit! On paper the story is very dumb (and so's the dialogue) but it does set them up, both of them, to sing throughout the movie. I enjoy it on levels I won't bother explaining because you won't understand. 

19. Paris, Texas

It's not a period piece, yet it's the least 1984 movie on this list. Partly because the emotions put forward are timeless, but more than that, the baffling richness of the cinematography feels like it's from some futuristic means of filmmaking. And similar to Blood Simple, it's a blessing to have someone like Harry Dean in a lead role. 

20. Rats: Night of Terror

Finally something post-apocalyptic to round out the year. I usually don't like these made-for-cheap, shot-in-abandoned-warehouses, band-of-survivors meanderings, but this one is so dark and dirty and gross that its setting is almost entirely believable. And its twist ending rivals nearly any Twilight Zone episode. 

BENNETT INVENTORY : Good Movie, Bad Ending

I love a good ending. I love surprises, punchlines, ambiguity, shock cuts, fadeouts, even neat & tidy old fashioned happy endings. From a distance there's no right or wrong, until we have to get dreadfully specific and make that eye-rolling declaration: it depends on the movie. Don't go hard for 100 minutes and then get all soft on me; movies earn their endings whether they like it or not and sometimes whether they mean to or not. It's a big responsibility but it's also a tremendous freedom - in my story writing experience I would often write just as an excuse to invent a provocative conclusion. But it's clear, in many movies, that the means were more urgent than the ends. 

A lot of these are your standard climax, some of them are the final moments before the credits, some are a painful bruise on the body of the movie, some are so forgettable that I can barely remember how everything turned out. In any case I'll leave it to you to agree or disagree - because that's a good ending. 

- Paul

*** S P O I L E R S   A H E A D***

The Fugitive (1993)

Maybe one of the most engrossing movies ever -- all the way up until Dr. Kimble confronts the architect of the whole frame-up, Dr. Nichols, and like Tommy Lee Jones I struggle to care. Harrison accuses him of "switching samples" in regards to whatever the overall motivation was but I never bother to remember any of that, and then he inexplicably follows the criminal mastermind into some backroom out of public view(!). Ultimately this is so Tommy Lee can be a part of the showdown which is all we wanted but it ends up being such a drag after the elaborate chase that was the entire film. 

The Thing (1982)

No, not the cryptic staredown between Kurt and Keith David - that's on the Best Endings list, so no surprise that it overshadows the formulaic Action Movie climax with the explosion and underground tunnels and the witty curse word remark. But the real troubling moment is the faltering monster FX that noticeably pale in comparison to the the dazzling achievement that is the rest of the movie leading up to it. Supposedly Team Bottin fell behind schedule with all the effort put into the other creations that it resulted in this immobile puppet that feels like an afterthought. 

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

The movie has many strengths and perhaps just as many weaknesses so there's a polite balance throughout. I'm not here to get into any of that, but I will say that the whole film could've come out ahead had Spielberg & co. given the audience a little more credit. Instead he leaves us with one of the worst expository speeches I've still ever heard as an animated alien lifeform (voiced by Ben Kingsley) tediously explains to David everything that we already know. I'm not complaining about the repetition but rather the crude disregard for even a remote chance of any abstraction. After I left the theater I went home and watched 2001 to get the taste out of my mouth. 

Trading Places (1983)

The story lands right where it's supposed to and right on time as the two lead characters reach the heights (and depths) of their respective class status. Then they join forces, which is also satisfying. Then they all board a train wearing silly disguises and talking with funny accents in a sequence that is comedically beneath a Benny Hill sketch. You'd think two SNL vets could make this work, but no; whatever tone the movie created had shifted into a silliness that feels like an entirely different movie. Furthermore, the second climax involving the commodities trading floor becomes literal white noise as the esoteric stock market stuff loses my interest entirely. 

Unbreakable (2000)

This one hurts. What an otherwise shockingly original and nearly perfect movie that had me surprised with every development, up to and including the surprise ending! I like M. Night - I like just about all the movies I've seen and I like the twists... to a point. Regardless of his impeccable storytelling strengths (as well as a creative eye) he truly has no faith in an audience's intelligence: he'll show us what's really going on, and then explicitly tell us, and then show us yet again. And in the odd case of Unbreakable, he employs title cards to tell us even more. Dreadful. 

Django Unchained (2012)

I'm sure this is hypercritical and won't get much support, but once Dr. King and Calvin get killed, I find I'm much less invested in any further outcome. Plot wise, yes, it's necessary for Django and Broomhilda to be reunited and the remainder of that journey (though sorta rushed) is entirely compelling, but not as satisfying as it should've been. The movie is so much more concerned with building the relationship between Django and Schultz that the actual objective always feels sorta incidental, so once he dies we have to force ourselves to become more invested in the very peripheral romance. 

M*A*S*H (1970)

To be fair there was no right or wrong way to end this movie - it has no narrative thread in a traditional sense, it's just a disjointed series of hijinks, and that's fine. Actually, that's great - it was Episodic Comedy before it was even televised. So for some ridiculous reason (regardless of the source novel) they decided to tack on some version of a "plot" in the form of an arbitrary football game to close out the film. It goes on for what feels like 20 minutes and it is a completely superfluous and disorienting bit of filmmaking that just about sinks the whole movie. 

Cast Away (2000)

How about this: when he comes back to civilization the world is run by intelligent apes. Seriously though I don't know how else it should've ended. No I didn't want him to die on the island and his rescue could've only ever had bittersweet consequences, but I think that's the point - or at least my point: the paint-by-number wrap-up kinda writes itself (in a boring way); everything else that was exciting or interesting was on that island and they did too good a job holding our attention with the survival element that they themselves became stranded in their own painted-in corner.