M&M's Bakery Collection

It's been a hot minute since I've sought out new snacks - Winter finds cold and depressing ways to weaken my desires for that kind of merrymaking. But as usual the shit finds me and I can't get out of the way of its savory path. In other words, I found some new M&M's at the store. 

Three new M&M's actually, all thematically tied to a "Bakery" gimmick, and all part of a legitimate online voting competition that allows us to pick our favorite  -- a "winner" will be announced at the end of May 2026. I'm trying all three, so let's see which of these candy coated candidates are groove approved. 

- Paul

Lemon Meringue Pie

Went into this with a bad attitude - I don't like lemon flavored things, the sensation reminds me of various cleansers. I enjoy a sugar-saturated lemonade now and then, and I can tolerate the lemon Skittles when I double them up with the other flavors, but I've never attempted any Lemon Meringue anything. 

Grade: B

Believe it or not I'm actually being partially objective in my own food review; while I myself have no tongue for Pledge-flavored chocolate, I can't deny that their desired effect is spot on. 

Peanut Butter Cinnamon Roll

I'm still struggling with the admission (mostly to myself) that I made several years ago: I like Peanut Butter M&M's way more than the Milk Chocolate M&M's. (Peanut M&M's may still reign supreme, but I'm not psychologically ready to have that talk.) Good news here is that these are basically PB M&M's -- at least for the first few seconds, but once you're done chewing, BOOM! Cinnamon!

Grade: B+

Points lost for lack of innovation; as good as the Peanut Butter ones are, I'm not here for the safety of familiarity. I want cutting edge. (That cinnamon trick at the end is pretty gnarly though.)

Cherry Chocolate Cupcake

These were the ones I was most looking forward to, and when I saw that they had the same color scheme as Stage 7 of Tetris I got excited down there. Right off the bat, while PB M&M's are noticeably softer than the regular ones, these ones are decidedly firmer - if that's important to ya. The flavor is actually more bitter than it could've been; imagine more of a Black Cherry and/or Dark Chocolate, making for a very refined, snobby M&M. 

Grade: A-

I was happy they sidestepped the Maraschino Robitussin sting found in many cherry flavored things. That + the deep maroons got me to lock in my vote no problem. 

NAME THAT MOVIE!

How'd you guys like those nachos?! It's admittedly kinda freeing to veer away from such a narrow path of Pop Culture, but it also provided a peaceful, easy feeling to focus on a singular topic for month - it's like always knowing where your next meal is coming from. But really all of this is just an attempt to segue into a sentence about the previous round and how the past ain't through with us... Actually that'll do nicely. Listen, "Fair" is fair, and technically "Easy" is fair, but if "Fair" is too easy for you, that's because y'all are just too damn good. As the book says, "In my fuckin' sleep, Burt!"

EASY

FAIR

DIFFICULT

GROOVE APPROVED