Bennett Media goes WRESTLING!

Back in the 1980s, the stereotype was that televised Wrestling was mostly embraced by Rednecks and Trailer Trash. That might've been unfair, but in my experience it was entirely true; a lotta the kids I knew who were considerably less fortunate than I really seemed to embrace it as part of their personality. Then in the 90s, the appeal seemed to grow and integrate more into the mainstream, and suddenly "Big Van Vader" is wrestling Ben Savage on Boy Meets World, and I start to see more t-shirts around school that I don't understand. 

Obviously this isn't a history lesson; everything I've mentioned is just observation mixed with speculation, because it's not like I was just "unaware" of Wrestling... I was actively disinterested - which is just a polite way of saying I didn't like it. I still don't. But I'm preserving politeness because I didn't come here to shit on a most beloved part of Pop Culture. In fact, I'm here to celebrate it (in my own way)! As mentioned, Wrestling and Wrestlers aren't always confined to the ring -- in many cases, they were integral to stuff I liked too. I'd always maintained that I didn't know much about it, but when I started to compile a physical list, I came up with over a dozen examples of Wrestling-related things that I've experienced throughout my life that managed to win me over (or at least hold my interest for the duration). Granted they never tempted me to dive any deeper into the wide world of rasslin' but I'm grateful for these 15 contributions.

- Paul

Suburban Commando

featuring Hulk Hogan

My VHS version of Gremlins 2 did not feature the cameo from The Hulkster (nor did it even contain the alternate Home Video scene with John Wayne either). Nevertheless, Hulk Hogan was everywhere for years before this Science Fiction Action Family film came out in 1991 (or, more specifically, 1992 which is when I probably saw it on tape), but this was my first experience spending any real amount of time with him. Yes, it probably would've been unbearably weak without the presence of Christopher Lloyd, but the chemistry between both of them is undeniable. (Fun Fact: it was written for Schwarzenegger and DeVito, who did Twins instead -- a movie I like considerably less than this one.)

Slim Jim Commercials

featuring Randy "Macho Man" Savage

Macho Man is a good example of my inarticulate approach to wrestlers at that time, which is just a general feeling of "What's this guy's problem?" But Slim Jim knew how to harness and present that hernia-inducing energy and managed to create TV ads that felt like Action Movies. Matched with the fact that I'm a big fan of the product, Mach Man was always alright with me. 

WWF Wrestling Buddies

from Tonka!

Speaking of memorable TV ads! There was nary a commercial break in the early 1990s that didn't include this sales pitch for pillows designed to look like muscular naked men. Thinking of them now makes me aware of another reason for my disinterest in the genre: I really didn't have that little boy urge to beat the shit out of someone. Maybe I was born without that gene, or maybe I just ignored it. Or maybe it was upbringing; I didn't have the kinda dad that would playfully put me in a headlock as a sign of affection. At any rate, these commercials always depicted everything in a very wholesome light, making them feel very non-intrusive during any given episode of DuckTales. 

"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"

featuring "Captain" Lou Albano

Before his title role in The Super Mario Bros. Super Show and long before his cameo in Stay Tuned, I knew him as Cyndi Lauper's disapproving dad. He'd also pop up in her "Time After Time" video, and also the video for the Goonies song (which actually featured like ten other wrestlers). The Cyndi Lauper/Wrestling connection would baffle me for most of my life, until I read a SPIN Magazine article detailing her manager's love of Wrestling, and the casting of Lou Albano to try to boost Cyndi's fan base. (It worked.) Even still, when the Mario show premiered, my mom recognized him as a wrestler first because, to perpetuate the stereotype, she actually spent some time living in a trailer park in Florida. 

Stripes

Mud Wrestling

I'm including this because a.) this may very well be my real introduction to Wrestling, and b.) I can't seem to compose any list without including Stripes. (In fact, I'm gonna make a tag for it right now.) The concept of physical altercation as sport wasn't totally lost on me at 4 years old but there were definitely elements of this specific activity that were a little confusing - all I knew was that it was exciting when the girls lost their bikinis. Actually, in hindsight, I now realize that I understood everything about this scene as a child. 

Honeycomb Commercial

featuring Andre The Giant

Another supposedly fundamental experience I didn't grow up with was The Princess Bride -- which just means that my one true connection to Andre The Giant is his appearance in a 1989 Honeycomb Cereal commercial that aired hourly right into the 90s. The premise: four kids and a robot are enjoying Honeycomb in their treehouse when they get harassed by a giant who's hungry for cereal. Tensions are high at first, but everyone's shared adoration for the Post Breakfast Cereal prompts singing and camaraderie. Strangely, the Honeycomb was the least alluring detail for me: I thought the treehouse was rad, but more than that, the heavily wooded backyard with rich foliage bathed in late afternoon sunshine wasn't too dissimilar from my own backyard when I was a kid, but it was only that much more lusty when this spot would run in the dead of Winter. 

The Three Stooges

Grips, Grunts, and Groans

In this 1937 Columbia Short, the boys befriend a wrestler named Bustoff. Bustoff is a wreckless party animal who drinks himself into a stupor, prompting Curly to apply a fake beard and pose as him in the ring -- but the Mob has money riding on Bustoff, so Curly had better win (even with some predictably unconventional tactics). For the longest time, this was the only depiction of the lifestyle of a wrestler that I was aware of: the debaucherous midpoint between Babe Ruth and Al Capone. I had to admit, it seemed somewhat inviting. 

They Live

featuring "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

I'm sure I've told this story before but it's pertinent to this list... I was flipping through the channels during some weekend afternoon and I came across "The Fight Scene" on a local cable channel. The beginning of the scene. My mother was there too and neither of us knew what this movie was. After about 5 minutes we were convinced that nothing else was gonna happen in this film except this fight. Obviously the plot finally kicked back into gear and what unfolded blew our minds, but not as blown as halting the pace of an otherwise straightforward narrative so a Pro Wrestler can show off what happens when he runs outta bubblegum. 

Pain & Gain

featuring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

I sat and I thought. And I thought and I thought. "Is it possible I've never seen a movie featuring The Rock? Have I yet to smell what he's cooking?" For a moment I honestly couldn't think of a single one. So I went to The Internet and scrolled the long list of feature films, and I actually found two(!) that I've seen in their entirety, both for partially ironic reasons: Doom (as part of our Video Game Take5 episode) and this, absorbed with a glimmer of hope that a self aware Michael Bay Action Comedy starring The Scorpion King might be more intentionally funny than unintentionally. (It really wasn't.) Honestly, I find the man likable, and despite having seen him in almost nothing, I don't think he's found his groove yet (though I can assume it's not Indie Oscar bait).

The Ren & Stimpy Show

"Mad Dog Höek"

Perhaps I would've been more into Wrestling had it leaned harder into these kindsa extremes (pus, gore, etc.). The irony is that Ren believes Wrestling to be fake and then gets graphically pummeled in various ways, which furthers my point that, if it's gonna be so obviously fake, it should be cartoonishly so; there should be way more poppings of eyeballs and blood vessels. 

Married... With Children

"Flight of the Bumblebee" featuring King Kong Bundy

Clearly it's about time I made a tag for Married... With Children as well. The name "Bundy" always seemed like a questionable choice for a sitcom family in the 80s, but the claim is that it was a direct homage to Pro Wrestler King Kong Bundy, who actually guested on the show twice: once as one of Peg's hick relatives, and then many seasons later as himself, in this episode where Kelly convinces him to beat up Bud in the ring. Definitely two of my least favorite episodes, but the Wrestling aspect is only partially incidental; when this show wanted to go intentionally lowbrow, it went hard, nearly past the point to where someone as shallow as me thought it was stupid, and that's definitely what happened here. Still, we honor this figurative and literal giant for lending his stage name to this iconic fictional family. 

Ed Wood

featuring George "The Animal" Steele (as Tor Johnson!)

This one's all kindsa meta: Pro Wrestler George "The Animal" Steele acting in a movie about director Ed Wood, portraying Pro Wrestler Tor Johnson who's cast by director Ed Wood to be in his movie. When this came out I wasn't really familiar with Plan 9 or Tor Johnson, but I immediately changed that right after I saw this, and I'm still as startled today as I was back then at how perfect this casting was. The resemblance is just uncanny! 

1 Night in China

featuring Joanie "Chyna" Laurer and Sean Waltman

Almost immediately after the "success" of Paris Hilton's leaked sex tape 1 Night in Paris, Chyna and Pro Wrestler fiancée Sean Waltman voluntarily sold their own homemade video to XXX studio Red Light District, cleverly adapting the punny title. Even during the dawn of the age of "pirating" and "downloading", I actually rented this video from the adult video store (because when it comes to smut I guess I'm just old-fashioned). Chyna apparently embraced the attention and continued making porn movies, but my curiosity halted after just 1 night. 

Blade Runner 2049

featuring Dave Bautista

I'd already seen him Guardians of the Galaxy and he (like the entirety of that movie) didn't really leave an impression on me -- at best I'm sure I just brushed him aside as some meathead hired for his exaggerated  physique. Obviously I was not so quick to dismiss his very brief but totally memorable moment in this movie that didn't require muscles at all; he gives a decidedly subtle turn as a soft spoken replicant who enjoys reading and farming. Putting him in the role could've come across as ironic, but no one approaches it that way and the scene remains memorable on its own merits. 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

featuring Kevin Nash

Lastly, what's a Bennett Inventory compilation without some mention of Ninja Turtles -- more specifically, Super Shredder! For me, nothing tops his menacing presentation in Part One - but that fell in line with the tone of that film. This decidedly goofy sequel only sometimes got as loud and colorful as it was trying to be, but this moment, depicting a giant mutated Shredder (played by Pro Wrestler Kevin Nash), is the crescendo of this movie's intended madness. Again, if Wrestling had ever featured costumes this over-the-top, it may've just piqued my interest.