MY SCARIEST MONSTERS

They may not always be cool, or iconic, or a good Halloween costume (heck, some of 'em are just an abstraction). They're our Scariest Monsters - the ones that did, and continue to do the most damage to us personally. Top 5 each; two short lists because it's serious business - all killer, no filler. Please, leave the lights on. 

The Paul List

The Gremlin

Twilight Zone: The Movie

My parents suggested I close my eyes whenever it was on the screen - they did that with a lotta things, usually unnecessarily, but in this case it almost seemed warranted. Working to its benefit as the scariest movie monster that I've ever seen is that we never fully see it - just a sense of big eyes and sharp teeth and lanky limbs and some specifically styled hair. No origin, no motivation, no inhibitions - just an evil grin and slimy skin. I'm always certain it's at my window at night. 

Captain Howdy

The Exorcist

He seems to have many names and forms in this story but this is what I've always called it - specifically the white demon face that occupies only a few frames throughout the film. I've ways considered this movie the most effective ghost story, and this is the face of the ghost; the image of the rotting Regan in bed was never the scary monster, it was only ever this thing. 

The Blair Witch

The Blair Witch Project

The second scariest ghost story starring the second scariest ghost (or supporting role at least). In case you haven't heard, this movie requires a lotta imagination from the viewer, as we're left to simply imagine most of the off camera scares - up to and including The Witch herself. Surprisingly, I've never constructed any clear images in my own head of what she looked like - I assigned some of the attributes that Mary Brown describes at the beginning, but the more I try to picture the less scary she becomes. I don't want that.

The Library Ghost

Ghostbusters

Clearly I'm afraid of ghosts -- I'm like Bizarro Ray Parker Jr. Anyone who's been with us for a while knows that I've always championed this whole movie as a legitimately scary Horror Film. Sure, that works to sharpen the comedic elements into the funniest Comedy of all time but it also happens to leave us with some of the best monsters ever put on screen (even pre-cute Slimer was a terrifyingly ugly little spud). With that, this shapeshifting librarian with a hell of a defense mechanism is tasked with setting the tone of the entire picture: ghosts can be translucent glowing figures, or giant dogs with red eyes, or marshmallow mascots, or whatever Skeletor-faced demon she turns into here.

Sally

Demons 2

To be fair, all of the monsters from these two Lamberto Bava movies all kinda share the same energy and purpose (running, growling, eviscerating), but this sequel that takes place in a high-rise apartment building employs a feature length "hide & seek" scenario that I find particularly frightening. The most dedicated "seeker" (and unofficial leader) of this specific army of demons is Sally, who crashed her own birthday party with a gruesome transformation into this bloodthirsty succubus. I don't know if she just gave an exceedingly outlandish performance or if she was directed to go extra hard, but she's only too pleased to rip someone apart and ever so pissed when they manage to get away. 

The Babes List

Xenomorph

Alien

I don't think there is a Bennett Media reader among you that isn't aware that this is my favorite one. It has weaseled and weaved its way into my nightmares for almost 40 years. It borrowed from the creature films that came before it and subsequently filmmakers have been stealing from it since. It is and will always be the best.

The Braces Monster

Poltergeist

This one is special because technically it is not a monster. In the film, the spirits turn Robbie's braces against him, covering him head to toe in shiny metal, and trapping him against the bathroom ceiling. My little Babes eyes saw this as a giant metallic monster. I had nightmares that it lived under my bed.

Rosemary

Demons

When I was 10, I had a sleepover with a friend that also loved horror movies. One of our favorites was Night of the Demons, which I asked my Mother to rent us from the store. She came back with Demons by accident. Soured, but not wanting to ruin the night, we dove in. It scared the hell out of us, lacking in a lot of the camp from the movie we intended to watch. The demons were terrifying, especially the first one. After it was over we had to switch to the ballet on PBS to calm down.

Tall Guy

It Follows

We all knew something creepy was going to come through the door when Jane was hiding in her room with her sister and friends. But did it have to be so fucking terrifying? This guy was pure nightmare fuel.

The Gremlin

Twilight Zone: The Movie

We catch glimpses of it throughout the short, but when it approaches him hanging out of the plane, grabs his face with his slimy hand, and waggles its fingers in a a sentient way, you know monsters are real.