NINTENDO Merchandise From 1990!

Today I'm gonna show you pictures of Super Mario underwear and you're gonna pretend to enjoy it.

From 1990, it's the awkwardly-titled "World of Nintendo Gear & Stuff" catalog, a 20 page magazine-sized insert that I believe was mailed out to Nintendo Power Magazine subscribers. Within its pages are glamor shots of wristwatches, sleeping bags, beach towels, and like a hundred other things that advertise Nintendo in some way. But strangely enough, this isn't the kinda catalog you could order things from, nor was it any type of "circular" for one specific store like Sears or JCPenny. Instead, this was just an aggressive, colorful reminder that this stuff exists, and it was our job - our destiny - to find it. 

Right off the bat they give us a list of stores where we might find this stuff (almost none of which exist anymore) accompanied by a 1-800 number to help better direct us, turning this potential shopping experience into a video game itself. Personally I don't remember seeing an official "World of Nintendo" department in my local Bradlees or Woolworth -- not that I was aware that I should've been actively looking for it, but there's no chance that stuff like this would've slipped past me; Nintendo merchandise was like gold, both in its beauty and its scarcity, and I only ever acquired everything I found (which wasn't much) and I treasured it appropriately. 

I'm writing this article for several reasons. The first is that, while a lotta the images in this book have become "Internet Famous" over the years, the picture quality (and comprehensiveness) has never met my standards; they're often repurposed into memes or grainy thumbnails on Pinterest boards, but the Web deserves some hi-res scans of this publication (if not for you, then for me dammit). 

That leads into my second reason. I never make a trip to eBay without a quick search for late 80s / early 90s Nintendo collectibles -- even if I'm there looking for used auto parts or a birthday gift for a relative, I always gotta check in on the status of rubber Luigi pencil toppers, just to feel grounded. Point is, having tangible photos of these items in my hands, as well as interacting with them by scanning them onto the Net, is about as close a I can get to some of these relics that I so deserve. In other words, I rarely have the bucks or the balls to blow $500 on a Youth Medium Adventure of Link sweatshirt, so the physical act of doing this is enough to satisfy me without the financial strain. 

All of these are just a result of my real reason for sharing this: actively putting myself in this place, in this "World of Nintendo", is both calming and exhilarating. Superficially I enjoy all the sexy shots of party supplies and pajamas, and then slightly beyond that we can all laugh at the funny fashions and hairstyles of the era, but as a whole this catalog creates an atmosphere that practically has its own music (which definitely combines Hip Hop with guitar solos).

Some of the photography includes actual set design that ranges from TV Sitcom Bedroom to Miami Vice Bad Guy to Laura Brannigan Music Video, but everything assembled together on the same page creates its own radical environment, and it smells like Bubble Tape: the shapes, the colors, the fonts, even the terminology used, from "Get With it" to "You're Happening", all established the very specific corporate pandering that's unique to my childhood, and so it puts me very much at home. 

So in this Doom Scroll Era of Arts and Entertainment, I implore you to study the finer details of these pages, because not only are they full of so many beautiful and weird products (Super Mario Candy Bars? What?!) but also if you stare deeply enough into its Pop Art mosaics, you can almost feel the Fruit Gushers explode in your mouth as Joey McItyre pleads, "Please Don't Go Girl..." If that's your desired vibe, you're welcome. 

- Paul