There are straight up recognizable treasures, and then there are these: objects of lust that only exist as a function to their respective worlds, reminding us that we don't actually live inside a movie, and keep us asking, "Where do they get those wonderful toys?"
Some have magic powers, some just have aesthetic appeal, all have rent-free real estate in my heart.
- Paul
The Tin Man's heart
The Wizard of Oz
I know it's just a symbolic ornament, but the reds in this movie are just beyond mesmerizing. So even before the slippers or the apples or the Witch's hourglass, this sparkling timepiece is judged by how much I love it.
Silver spheres
Starman
I never knew what to call these. "Magic balls?" It was fine that they could manipulate the elements of his immediate surroundings, but their size and shape and dull bluish-grey metallic sheen was the only reason I needed them. And they glowed!
Joker's pistol
Batman
A solid black revolver with a long barrel was the most attractive of movie weaponry to me. So imagine my shock & awe when the Clown Prince of Crime pulled this monster out of his pants...
Toy space capsule
The Right Stuff
The Mercury Space Capsule was and is one of my favorite manmade things in terms of function and design - this gothic Giger-esque tomb looks more like it came from outer space, not the other way around. But in the film, Gus & Gordo are playing with these tiny-but-heavy duty toy versions that are exquisitely accurate. Reasonably (and practically) I just want those.
Abraham Lincoln, Pancake Maker
Pee-wee's Big Adventure
Pee-wee's playhouse has plenty of alluring psychedelic oddities, but his private residence is where it's at. There are too many collectibles and decorations and pieces of art to absorb even in the first few shots we're given (the breakfast machine alone is brimming with riches) but the life-size Abe flapjack flipper is more than enough for me.
Pocketknife
To Kill A Mockingbird
When I was little I couldn't really tell what it was - just a solid jumble of black & grey, but I loved the sound it made when Jem digs it out of the box. Even still, now that I know what it is, it's my favorite of Boo's treasures.
Schwartz ring
Spaceballs
Not a mega fan of this movie, but like its source material, it's full of SciFi gadgetry and fantasy lore - working together in this sparkly ring. The fact that it's later revealed that it came out of a Crackerjack box made me want it more.
Thermal detonator
Return of the Jedi
Lightsabers or a good blaster are fine and they had their moment, but I was always so curious about the shiny hand grenade with the lights & buttons & moving parts. It just looked like a cool toy - it was a bonus that it was an explosive.
Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Look, I just like grenades - it's the 4-year-old in me - but this blessed bomb is so beautiful that it doesn't even matter that it becomes a deadly weapon at the count of three...
Control lever
The Time Machine
Ok, so I want the whole goddamn contraption, but I'm tryna stay humble & realistic. After all, this crystal-handled wand is basically the car keys to the whole machine, so it's got relevance too.
The box
Mulholland Drive
Really it needs to come with the key to make it a complete set. I love little ornate boxes -- even if they're filled with existential dread and waking nightmares, I'm sure there's still plenty of room for a few buffalo nickels and old movie stubs.
Penthouse
Stripes
It's the movie that sparked my love of grenades! But they pale in comparison here; so many movies are filled with all kindsa fake literature -- but I'll take a P.J. Soles Penthouse over a Paul Sheldon novel any day.
Fingertrap
The Addams Family
There's a lotta beautiful treasure in this otherwise dark, gothic saga, but this jewel-encrusted party favor is the most attractive thing in the movie (after Dan Hedaya). This shoulda been part of Hot Topic's inventory for the past 30 years.
Dancing Jesuses
A Clockwork Orange
If I'd had a desired aesthetic when I was 13, it could've been "Ironic Religious Iconography." Even still I love how aggressively tasteless it is, and I'd be honored to have such an elegant monument to Stanley's sense of humor.
Microchips
Innerspace
I didn't know what microchips were when I was 5 - I still kinda don't know. Kinda don't care either - I did deduce that they were cute little candy-colored buttons that had the magic to miniaturize Dennis Quaid. Other than that I just wanted these little geometric science playthings.
The Orb
Sleeper
When I was little I didn't understand that it was supposed to be some sorta recreational drug reference - I just liked the big shiny sphere that brought on expert physical comedy.
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1 comment:
Love this post. Those toy capsules from The Right Stuff were objects of desire for me when I first saw it. Another one for me that wasn't listed here was John Hammond's cane from Jurassic Park with the amber trapped mosquito at the top. The big one, however, was the Crypt Keeper's book he would crack open at the beginning of every Tales From the Crypt. My obsessive longing led me to print out mini covers of the EC comics, cut them out and staple them together to create a makeshift flipbook.
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