Some say a life has its soul as soon as conception occurs. That the second mom and dad, or scientist and needle, put those two ingredients together and create a connective reaction, a sentient human has been created. I, by no means, intend to disrespect you by disagreeing, but I have a very different idea about all of this.
It had been 38 weeks and 1 day of a total mind, body, and emotional transformation. I weighed 200 lbs. and I was tired. I told work, where I was a preschool teacher, that I was all done. I needed to sit for a while before the grand finale. That night I ate my weight in extra cheese pizza, went to bed at 8 o'clock, and slept through the night without having to wake to pee for the first time in many months. A gift from the universe.
I woke up at 6:15am feeling like a million dollars, but I had to go really bad. I rolled my hilariously shaped body out of bed and told myself that I wouldn't tinkle down my legs. As my feet hit the floor, I am frozen by the most intense abdominal pain I've ever experienced. But I still really had to go. Don't pee. Walk walk walk. Ouch ouch ouch. For the love of all that is good and pure let me make it the twelve feet to the soft cushioned toilet. I held on to the wall tightly with both hands and inched my way across the floor. My breathing was so hard and so fast I was positive that I was gonna hyperventilate and pass out on the damn floor. I made it.
Sitting there, in tranquil agony, having the greatest release of urine in my life, and simultaneously writhing around in misery (tolerable misery, but misery all the same) I felt something. This was different than anything I had felt since the start. I can only describe it as a union of souls. It took me over so strongly that it almost knocked me off the can. My little xenomorph was coming. Crawling back to Paul to wake him for showtime, I thought about it more, and I believe his spirit linking with his physical body triggered the labor.
He's almost 3 now. His favorite color is purple. His likes to give little, medium, and big hugs. He's an artist; gifted for his age at drawing faces and emotions. His favorite bands are Arcade Fire, Haim, and David Bowie. He dances like he's at a punk show from 1977. He watches The Wizard of Oz, Gremlins 2, The Iron Giant, and anything Toy Story ad nauseam. He's smart, having been able to say and recognize every letter of the alphabet since he was 18 months old, and can say and recognize numbers 1-30. He's emotional. He's manipulative. He loves animals and says hi to strangers. He'll be your best friend in exchange for an orange popsicle. He will be John Connor as the world falls apart. He's already saved me.
I want to add something that occurred on the afternoon of 5/2/2021. We were taking our walk to our favorite park. We made it to the gazebo just as I see a giant dark brown dog round the corner, with its head lowered, and frothing at the mouth. He had no collar or leash. In a split second I threw my son up into the gazebo, positioned myself in a defensive stance, and readied myself to take on a potentially violent and rabid canine. No sooner did the owner yell, "There he is, George come here!" and called him off. We're left with our lives. This is true love. This is motherhood.
1. "Mother" by John Lennon
2. "Take Your Mama" by Scissor Sisters
3. "Mama" by Genesis
4. "Mother" by Pink Floyd
5. "Mama You've Been On My Mind" by George Harrison
6. "Mother's Little Helper" by The Rolling Stones
7. "Blues for Mama" by Nina Simone
8. "This Woman's Work" by Kate Bush
9. "Coat of Many Colors" by Dolly Parton
10. "Mama Tried" by Merle Haggard