Cutting it kinda close this year - we've been busy with projects and things leaving us nary a second to celebrate the resurrection. Honestly though, it's during the times when you need to force it in that make it matter most; rainbow eggs and Spring things are happening all around us and if we don't make a special point to stop and touch grass (and eat chocolate) then we might as well be dead when the rain comes. Here are 5 fun holiday snacks to aid us in observing rejuvenation, rebirth, and all that crap.
- Paul
Reese's Tie-Dye Eggs
I typically wouldn't reach for something so middle-of-the-road; if I'm taking a chance on Reese's they'd better be offering a lot more than chocolate and peanut butter. But it's definitely typical of me to buy something just for the wrapping, which is what I've done here; if you've got an adequate candy dish then something like this double duties as sustenance as well as style. Though frankly I'm a little disappointed: for some reason I thought the foil would be more shimmery or glittery, or at the very least shiny, but really it's more of a matte finish (which is literally another word for "dull"). Whatever, they're colored eggs made of sugar, let's rejoice.
Jif Peanut Butter Filled Eggs
Very recently, the grandson of the founder of Reese's has claimed that Hershey's no longer uses actual peanut butter in their products. I'm sure that's not surprising; when you try a Reese's right alongside one of these bad boys it presents a startling reminder of what peanut butter is actually supposed to be. Wrapped in a mercifully thin shell of Frankford chocolate, they're rich and they're big - there are only six individually wrapped eggs in here, but each one is a small meal, and each one is like staring into the eyes of a true champion.
Rice Krispies Treats Chocolate Bunny
I don't know the real name of this but the graphics tell the story well enough. I was mostly anticipating a general Krackel or Crunch Bar experience, which it sorta is but not really; it's mostly solid (Frankford) chocolate through & through with an occasional Krispie here and there, so it's not exactly a textural adventure, but the flavor is a miracle of modern science - the chocolate itself tastes like Rice Krispie Treats. At least once during these roundups I have to ask: How'd they do that?
Albanese Cottontail Gummies
These are those non translucent gummies that don't look like little jewels, but instead look like little toys. The flavors are incredibly potent, though a little odd: Blue Raspberry, Grape, Mango, Pineapple, and Orange (for your tropical Easter Festivities). Though not as odd as the shapes: a carrot, a bunny head, and what I finally determined to be a "cottontail", which in reality is just a rabbit's hindquarters. Does this seem kinda suggestive to anyone else, or am I just weird?
Colonel's Favorite Jellybeans
While it's usually exciting to ask "How'd they do that?" it's never really fun to ask "Why'd they do that?". Every year I try to throw in at least one misfit treat (usually from the Peeps family) and once I saw the Colonel's smug face I didn't put in any extra thought regarding the future I was facing (I shoulda went with the Peeps). The second the bag was punctured the smell permeated my personal space and it filled me sadness and fear. The "Sweet Corn" flavor was almost tolerable, but that required a lot of lying to myself. Next was the "Gravy" one that cornered me into thinking about more pleasant things to distract me from the horror. I chewed the "Fried Chicken" jellybean and then spit it out, back into the bag with the rest of the wrongdoings. I know "gross jellybeans" are a thing and I try not to be dramatic about these products, but these just about obliterated the fun "haha" novelty of their existence and nearly put me off Kentucky Fried Chicken for life. At least I now have a sense of the agony on the cross (perhaps that was the point).
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