Sorta kinda picking up where Dollman (1991) and Demonic Toys (1992) left off, 1993's Dollman vs. Demonic Toys pits Brick Bardo (aka the 13'' Dollman) against a handful of possessed dolls that plan to bring about the rebirth of their Demon master - all set to a Quiet Riot soundtrack, along with Melissa Behr reprising her role as Nurse Ginger from 1992's Bad Channels! Confused? You shouldn't be - this premise is as deep as a puddle, and if you're not already caught up on all your Dollman/Demonic Toys mythology, roughly 30 of its 64 minute runtime is dedicated to "flashbacks" from the three movies it combines. Bad Channels is strong on its own, but this movie is what the other two storylines needed; regardless of all the recycled footage, Dollman and Demonic Toys were a lot duller as separate entities. Combined, they're a little less dull. Still, one has to assume this is how exciting it must be for Comic Book Movie fans when some other superhero makes a surprise cameo.
But forget comic books or Full Moon monotony -- nothing rivals the dullness of Strong Roots Crisp Crinkle Fries. "Light and fluffy crinkle cut potato fries with a drop of sunflower oil. Just two ingredients." Strong Roots's whole deal is food that's good for you, and good for the environment(?) - who knew french fried 'tater manufacturing was such a drag on the ecosystem? Instinctually, you'd think the aid of salt and some supporting sauces could disguise the blandness, but still, the dryness perseveres - that "drop" of sunflower oil really seems to get lost in the mix. If you wanna enjoy these (or just survive them) then melted butter is what you need for dipping - and don't be afraid to fuckin' drown 'em in that shit because that's as close as you'll get to a decent fry. But at least they're good for you!
The Movie: C-
The Fries: D-
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