I SAW IT ON TAPE - George's Island

I've found that most people have at least one memory of a movie that exists in their mind only as cursed fragments and abstract ideas; a simple plot detail or character exchange or maybe even a whole set piece that is only that much weirder when it lives without context. Usually it's either scary or sexy because those cut the deepest, though no matter how provocative the scenario is, we're often faced to ask the question: was that part of a movie I saw, or did it come from my own mind? Did I see this late at night on TV at someone's house, or was this a dream? I know I certainly have a few rattling around in me, but I can almost guarantee that it would've been a lot more had I not taken action when I was about 9 years old. I've mentioned it a buncha times before, but it's pertinent to this tale: by the time I was in Fifth Grade I'd began a Movie List, which started out as a compilation of only my favorites, but then it quickly became a comprehensive, handwritten record of every movie I'd ever seen and continued to see. (There's an exquisitely boring video of me showing it off here.) For the next ten years I added to it, with every new viewing as well as doing my best to dig up my past. I was meticulous in building what I thought was an airtight account of everything I'd watched, so imagine my surprise when I discovered a mind-boggling flaw. 

I have a very peripheral idea of what "movie time" is like in public schools nowadays and it's certainly different from how I remember it. I'm sure today's students get stuff like Frozen and Shrek because of the ease with which all media is available to us now, particularly (if not predominately) the mainstream stuff. When I was in school, not so much; year after year, grade after grade, when they turned off the overhead fluorescents and wheeled in that 25 inch Zenith I knew we were about to flirt with the cutting edge of Underground Cinema. If it wasn't a video from our school library's collection of oddities, it was something a teacher taped off TV from a channel that only aired in East Berlin. I doubt any of my classmates cared or appreciated just how bizarre some of the "Children's Entertainment" these clueless educators subjected us to, but I was always sure to take note - once mentally, then physically. And during Halloween season in Sixth Grade (this would've been 1994) they screened for us some Canadian weirdness from 1989 that I never forgot, though would somehow contradict my well-kept records. 

I don't remember the opening credits, but I do remember that it was told to us that the name of this movie was Jellybean's Island. I remember it being said out loud, and it's the title I have written in my Movie List.  And it's actually a really neat title as it lines up with my only real strong memory of the film - something I remember most vividly because it came with a verbal warning. The teacher cautioned us that there'd be some mild violence at the very beginning, and so I'm sure like everyone else in class my receptors were all turnt to 11. It's been over 30 years but I recall the scene well (or I think I do): some pirates arrive on an island in the middle of the night and bury their treasure in the sand, and then it is the duty of one of them to guard the treasure once they've left it. The captain or lead pirate nominates Jellybean, a lowly deckhand or cabin boy, to keep watch over the buried booty, which excites Jellybean. And with a swift swipe of the sword they cut off Jellybean's head, and so now the ghost of Jellybean protects the treasure for all time. "Jellybean's Island" -- makes perfect sense. 

Flash forward to the 21st Century and I go looking for it on The Internet. I get no results. I ask Google, Yahoo, Jeeves, no one's heard of Jellybean's Island. "80s/90s Canadian pirate kids movie" -- I get results, but no Jellybean. I certainly wasn't about to take my case to Reddit or some other troll community, so I just cut loose and typed in the entire opening scene that I just described to you in a search bar. Lo and behold, our good friend Artificial Intelligence coughed up George's Island, complete with a premise that was familiar to me, and a cast list that included Maury Chaykin, which opened another little drawer in my memory as I recalled watching it and thinking "Hey, it's the Dances With Wolves guy!" So there it is - teachers gave me bad information, changing history to better fit their agenda I guess. But seriously, based on everything I described, I think we can all agree that Jellybean's Island is much more fitting (and fun) title. 

- Paul