Everyone is attractive. And horror movie actors(tresses) are no exception to this rule. Sometimes they can even elevate or distract me from a horrible feature. I'll even forget, and remember the movie fondly only to revisit it later, and be reminded that it was only those perfect breasts that kept me engaged. At heart, I'm still just a horny teenager. And my lizard brain is overactive with big eyes for all of those Hollywood cutouts. Same as you. 

- Babes

Ernest Scared Stupid

I have always loved the Ernest movies because Jim Varney is a funny motherfucker. It should come as no surprise that his spooky-themed one is the nearest and dearest to my heart. And this little boy, with his very early nineties haircut, blue flannel shirt, and super pouty lips stole my heart. He was one of my earliest pretend boyfriends. And I deeply fantasized. 

Brian Stevenson
Little Monsters

I was always a Winnie Cooper kid. But then I saw this underrated masterpiece and Fred was my new prince. What tips the scales is definitely when he dons the leather vest at the end. Super hunk.

Richie Tozier

Everyone was adorable in this. But little nerdy, glasses-adorning Seth Green was the very best. And a fetish was born. 

Lucy Westenra
Bram Stoker's Dracula

Watching Lucy writhe around, groping and touching her half naked self in the rain, did things to me on a chemical and physical level that I cannot even describe. 

Tatum Riley

I pretended I liked this movie so that I could see it three more times in the theater, and buy a VHS copy, just so I could ogle this goddess some more. 

Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth

These movies are not scary, but more so completely disgusting. They for real churn my stomach, and I have to be in the right mood to allow that queasiness. As for this sequel, it takes this very special kind of hottie to distract me from my upchuck feeling, and turn me on. 

Donnie Darko
Donnie Darko 

This was a new release blind rental. Apart from being blown away by its originality and amazing soundtrack/score, I was getting all the feels from the handsome doe-eyed lead actor. And I knew that he was going places. Boy was I right. 

Seth Brundle
The Fly

Jeff just oozes sexuality as much as he does literal goo. 


To those of you who need to know this, it's not the crazy ones that you need to be wary of, they're bound to be the most adventurous in the ways you want them to be, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. And she is so goddamn pretty that it hurts. 

Herman Salvadore
The Lords of Salem

Honestly, in certain light, this guy looks like my sexy husband. So that helps. And he's cool as fuck. I should know, I've met him.

Jay Height
It Follows

This film photographs her unusual beauty well, highlighting her gigantic eyes, and making her skin look delicious. 

Hedy Carlson
Single White Female

How do you make her look hotter? Try making her try to look like Bridget Fonda? Winner winner chicken dinner.

Allie Jones
Single White Female

She has always been list-worthy, but this look reigns with that adorable red pixie cut.

Land of the Dead

Her dark and brooding look caught my attention in this otherwise bag of shit that I had to sit through in the theater. And upon further investigation, she's weird, which makes her even better.

Shaun of the Dead

Fewer films have made me laugh harder than this one. And humor is seductive as hell. 

Sarah Roberts
The Hunger

She never makes any scream queen lists, but why not? She's was more alluring than anyone else on them! Especially with blood dripping down her face and body.

Kate Beringer

While I agree with Paul - while this is the worst wardrobe in the history of film, it doesn't take away from all that is her. 

Crawford Tillinghast
From Beyond

Skittish, bookish nerd, in librarian-esque sweater is provocative to me the way naked is to others.

Ginger and Brigitte Fitzgerald
Ginger Snaps

This film was described to me as a "lesbian werewolf movie". While it's not, I can still pretend, and I very much like to...

Sukie Ridgemont 
The Witches of Eastwick

It's worth noting that her character is extremely fertile, and has many children, which means she really likes fucking. And sluts rock.    

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