"Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit, and your shit is stuff?"- George Carlin
Oops! We have too much shit! We don't know how it keeps happening - and the reason it's a problem is firmly established: we keep getting more shit, and it's not going to stop because we refuse to wise up.
We've gone through eBay, Etsy, record stores, flea markets, Salvation Army, and the dump, and holy jesus it never gets easier, because it's always good shit - the Glengarry shit - to which we say goodbye. But the biggest struggle is knowing that this steady stream of booty never ends up in the hands of folks who we know will appreciate it, and so we hafta stay up nights wondering and worrying about its well-being. And then, like a ton o' tits, it hit us: it's you sexy motherfuckers who have what we want and want what we have! You deserve first dibs - and for a much better deal!
But really, we're more creative than simply unloading our used treasures onto you though some clinical transaction - we're not a bank, Jerry. If we're gonna ask you for money (because we are), then we're not just gonna give it to ya - we're gonna ship 'em out a whole new door!
For a one-time payment of $30, we will send you a hand-crafted, one-of-a-kind Box of Shit - a mixed mystery bag of sorts that's sure to make this one of your more memorable Summers. (Even if that memory is "hey, that was the Summer that I got that Box of Shit!")
Now, while this truly is a "get what you get" agreement, we want you to have a really good idea of what you might be getting (and why it's worth it).
You Will Receive:
- at least 3 (three) previously owned DVDs or Blu Rays
- 1 (one) homemade music mixtape (CD)
- at least 1 (one) back issue of Bennett Media Magazine
- an assortment of candy
Those are guaranteed. Additionally, you could receive some or all of the following:
- trading cards
- action figures
- original art
Frankly, the size of the box will determine how much you get; once the box is full, we'll send it your way. So, if you're feeling adventurous and wanna take the chance that you'll end up with a Summer playlist, some new threads, and a Severin blu, shoot us an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Afterwards, if you want, send us pics with your loot and we'll publish them here. (Or, we'll look at them privately when everyone's gone to bed.)
Legal shit: Payments accepted through PayPal only (sorry). Offer valid in the Continental United States only (sorry again). Good while supplies last (and they'll last a long time). No exchanges, no refunds, no springs.