Showing posts with label John Hughes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Hughes. Show all posts

3.04.2025

Five Fun Foods From Forty Year Old Films

Did I come up with this post just as an excuse to use that deliciously alliterative title? No, not entirely (though I won't admit to what percentage). I celebrated 1985 in full on its 35th Anniversary, and unless Biff still has the Sports Almanac, 1985 probably remains unchanged. Me, I've probably changed some in the last 5 years - I've certainly tweaked my Top 20 of '85 Films but I'm not carrying that baggage up these stairs every time my mind changes slightly (that's what Letterboxd is for I guess). One thing that certainly hasn't changed is my weird fascination with movie foods - as in foods that appear on screen in mainstream movies. I'm quickly becoming the Mr. Skin of cinematic snacks (and I'm extremely ok with this). But really it was an excuse to revisit such a monumental movie year -- it's still early in 2025 so I'm sure I'll find more ways to do it again. In the meantime here are 5 completely-obvious-but-fun-nonetheless moments when Reagan-era sustenance took center stage. 

- Paul


Bacon, eggs, pancakes, toast, strawberries, Mr. T Cereal
Pee-wee's Big Adventure

The pain of this punchline has haunted me since I was a child; Pee-wee used what I'm guessing is a month's worth of gas & electricity to construct a complete breakfast garnished with a corn-based novelty cereal, and he takes one bite. I know that's the bit but man I hate when food goes to waste in the movies as much as I do in real life (I can't even watch when Kevin McCallister abandons his entire Macaroni & Cheese without a single forkful).


Three sandwiches, potato chips, an apple, a banana, chocolate chip cookies, milk, Coke
The Breakfast Club

Surprised as you may be, no, I have zero interest in Ally Sheedy's Cap'n Crunch/Pixie Stix sandwich - the consistency alone puts me off. I'm certainly not vying for Claire's sushi and I'm not a fan of soup or apple juice so we'll let Brian keep his four food groups. Technically I would be having Bender's lunch of absolutely nothing at all, but for the purposes of this list we'll say Andrew's massive caloric intake of mostly traditional items is the most appealing; I could certainly polish off three sandwiches as long as I'm not expected to eat a whole bag of Matt's Chocolate Chip Cookies. 


Burger - medium rare, coffee
After Hours

Another example of perfectly good grub going to waste -- perfectly great grub most likely; some hearty beef and black coffee in a Soho diner in the middle of a rainy night could set you straight. Misfortune and happenstance no doubt prevented Paul from having an otherwise incredible evening - he coulda got with Rosanna Arquette, Teri Garr, and Catherine O'Hara almost consecutively had fate not dealt him such a shitty hand. 


Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry milkshakes
Back to the Future

Forget George's wimpy chocolate milk or Marty's crazy futuristic beverages like Tab and Pepsi Free - I'd bet you a hundred gigawatts that Lou's Diner would have kickass milkshakes. If for no better reason (and there may not even be one), this is good ol' 1955 - there's nothing "healthy" or "vegan" or "lactose-free" going on here; hell they're probably packed with animal fat and egg yolks. Baby Boomers may've aged faster but that's because they actually lived goddammit. 


Baby Ruth
The Goonies

Nothing involving Sloth seemed particularly appetizing - his damp platter of floor food seemed grosser than the Castle Freak cuisine. What does seem exceptionally appetizing is a fresh Baby Ruth -- though not just any Baby Ruth, but one in that solid white 1985 wrapper with the bold red letters. Nabisco paid $100,000 for that shot you're looking at above (which ironically was compromised in the pan & scan versions) and it works on me to the point that I will seek out a Baby Ruth... only to be disappointed by the bland modern packaging of right now. Nostalgia is a deceptive bitch.

11.05.2022

The Pride Before The Fall: Some Seasonal Cinema

Did you have a Very Heavy Metal All Hallows' Evening, or did you curate your own flavor? I mean no need to follow our lead - if you listen to that Top 40 shit that's your business, as long as all your Wicker Men got burnt. 

We've reached that time of year again: the second stretch of Autumn that has no thematic relation to the first; it's like the Full Metal Jacket of seasons. And frankly I'm low-key comfortable with it this year; I'm burnt out on blood & headbangin' for the time being and I'm ready for the real Fall Vibes - the Glengarry Vibes, the moody limbo that lingers between the cheap loudness of the mandated festivities. I love the Hallmark Holidays, but sometimes I just wanna be alone for a minute and admire the passage of time without the rigidness of a calendar, and every November bestows this impregnable period that sometimes allows a chance for reflection or relaxation, or like in the case of this November, presents an opportunity to plunge my hands into the muck and take care of some business. In the Northeastern United States (and throughout much of the country) it's a cold, brown month with early nights and unpredictable weather; the candy corn sweetness of October still lingers on my tongue and the rainbow glow of December looms large, so the atmosphere isn't really ripe for napping but there is a pronounced urgency to take it easy. At the very least we can kick back and watch some old favorites. 

I brought a list - mostly to justify my sinister urge to talk a bit about the month we're in, but the list itself actually isn't without its value. Two years ago I posted a holiday-heavy inventory of mostly Thanksgiving essentials that I habitually view under some level of obligation. This supplemental list, though not quite as immutable, consists largely of stuff I don't have to watch right now, but I unquestionably ain't gonna watch 'em any other time of year. So I have options - and not without reason, and as sure as eggs is eggs, I'm gonna share those reasons, however brief or esoteric they may be. 

- Paul


Silent Fall (1994)

It's right there in its punny title, and it follows through in a literal way: it opens on Halloween Day and picks up from there with plenty of legitimate Fall foliage to assure it's the real deal.  


Uncle Buck (1989)

With no mention of holidays, it could be late winter (like a lotta these). But just having the Candy/Culkin/Hughes presence is enough to feel like midway merriment. 


The Master (2012)

This is just one of those situations where the movie was released in the Fall and I bought the soundtrack in the Fall so it's just linked to the Fall. Also, Happy 10th Anniversary(!). 


Desperate Hours (1990)

Some mild set dress presents a few dead leaves on the dirty ground, but really it's more about the cabin fever coziness of captivity. Maybe that's just me.


A Civil Action (1998)

This is another one of those indeterminate seasons - but that's the joke here: this is what Massachusetts looks like from November to April, which is the perfect setting for kids dying of leukemia.  


Far From Heaven (2003)

This one's a bit of a cheat as it aggressively pays homage to the aggressively Autumnal All That Heaven Allows. Both are pretty on-the-nose, so don't lemme catch you watching them any other time of year.


Big (1988)

This movie has the most intellectual approach to the true meaning of seasonal and annual finality; young children playing in dead vegetation, the futility of time, the contrast of responsibility, the symbolism of the harvest. Or, Josh just wants to be a kid again. 


Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

I watched it obsessively for an entire Fall when I was 14, and now it just belongs there. If you have an argument for some other time of year, I'd love to hear it. 


American Beauty (1999)

I usually don't watch this movie. Actually I haven't watched it in nearly 20 years. And I probably don't plan to watch it any time soon. But boy howdy, if I were to watch it, you'd better believe I'd have a ton of reasons for doing it exclusively in this month. 


The Stepfather (1987)

After watching it 20 times per every Halloween Season, it occurs to me, "This really is kind of a Thanksgiving movie and I'm tired of pretending it's not." Either that or I need an excuse for Jill Schoelen to spill over into the next month. 

1.29.2022

Sit, 1987, sit. Good dog.


What do you remember about 1987?

Ok, that's not a very fair question. How about from when you were 4 years old - any milestones or trauma that stand tall in your memory? What about the small stuff - how many times did you scrape your knee or paint a picture? How many Happy Meals did you consume? These years - the first few years - may be "formative" or "psychologically impressionable" or whatever, but they're so dark & fuzzy that it makes it difficult to reminisce. And you know we gots to reminisce. Fortunately, there are photographs. 



January 1987 - 35 years ago. Several feet of snow smother the landscape, throwing divine light through my window into my little boy bedroom accented by primary colors and some weird 70s wooden plaques from Woolworth's. What was to be expected of me that day, or any other day? School was a year and a half away, my own Nintendo was 2 years away, and I never felt any sense of accomplishment in the construction of a snow angel. Through math & science, I've concluded that there was, as there'd always been, television. In between whatever toys & picture books there were, the TV - hooked up to a cable box and a VCR - was the thing. 


Married... With Children, DuckTales, and Ninja Turtles debuted that year, but I didn't settle into those grooves immediately. I was deep in the sultry glebe of Cheers, Night Court, and Moonlighting, and their respective theme songs of anthemic companionship and after-hours Soul Rock became my soundtrack of domestic wellbeing. I also shared a home with a teenage girl, and MTV and its audio/visual parade of "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now," "(I've Had) The Time of My Life," and "Wanna Dance With Somebody" created an ever-present ambience of almost-clichéd timeliness - as though there were a constant reminder that "Hey! It's the 1980s!" 


I can comb textbooks to find out what was new & what the rest of the world was into in any given year -- but at that age I really didn't care how much a gallon of gas cost. I indulged in my fair share of Double Dare and roller rinks that year, but the decade didn't necessarily dictate or define every activity I did... Having said that, birthday and holiday photos are very telling when it comes to calculating where my interests laid (or lied?). 


It's not that I was specifically into the armed forces - not in any real world sense anyway. But as I turned 4, my movie of the moment was Stripes - and predictably so: Venkman and Egon turned me on to hand grenades, army fatigues, and topless mud wrestling. Because of this, '87 had an incidental theme; much like 1989 was my Tim Burton Christmas (almost as much as 1990 was) this year was, somehow, my Ivan Reitman year.

February

October

December

If there's one great thing that came outta The Real Ghostbusters cartoon, it was that we finally got some licensed toys (as I detailed thoroughly when I covered the entire '87 Christmas haul). And much like some of the more recent installments in this ever-growing franchise, despite the quality of the continual output, it's an excuse for them to sell us more merch. And so, regardless of our collective '80s nostalgia' fatigue, bustin' continues to make us feel good. 


But outside my world of animated series and HBO, new movies were populating the theaters - big, commercial, 80s nostalgia movies. More than enough to define the year and maybe the decade. Take a look at this lineup:


Major Motion Pictures all of them. Not one of these made my Top 20. This isn't me being crass or obstinate - my choices are all mainstream, popular flagship flicks just the same. That is to say, there's a lotta great stuff from which to choose. That is also to say that these pinnacle pictures are of such great import to me that I've spent years polluting this site with in-depth love letters to most of them. So, official ranking aside, a lot of these will be brief with the bouquets. After all, when it comes to Kubrick, Carpenter, and the Coens, what more is there for me to say? (Though when it comes to Elm Street, there's still that same desire to feel the fire.)

- Paul



1. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
The best movie by the master of the '80s Teen Comedy' is a timeless, grownup Dramedy. It's also the best movie of the year - which, as I've pointed out, is no easy accomplishment. Apart from packing the biggest emotional punch, it's truly a marvel of moviemaking; how Hughes manages to deliver raw sentiment without slipping into schmaltz is a trick I'll never figure out. 

2. Beverly Hills Cop II
A 100-minute Tony Scott music video is the only way to approach it (as redundant as that sounds). Actually, to keep the theme going, it's my favorite Tony movie. It's probably my favorite Eddie movie. And what the hell, I'll finally officiate it: it's my favorite soundtrack. Take a moment to appreciate the weight of that...

3. Three O'Clock High
I've sung enough praises for this picture that I'm just about outta lyrics. Though I could add that, in this context, this Action/Drama/Horror/Teen Comedy is a compact potpourri of every genre on this list. If you've seen it I'm sure you'll agree. And if you haven't, hopefully my waning credibility in amateur film criticism has enough gas left to get you on board finally.  

4. Throw Momma From the Train
Murder. Blackmail. Motives and alibis. It taught me about Hitchcock before I knew Hitchcock. There's a lot to be said about the slapstick and sight gags and one-liners, but the actual premise is so inexplicably outrageous that the descriptive title almost doesn't do it justice. Although, Momma, Owen, and Owen's Friend Larry wouldn't be a very sultry improvement. 

5. Raising Arizona
Hillbilly humor from two of the most talented troubadours of the Western World - it was an unexpected departure because of their talents, and as a followup to much darker material. And so, an indefinable style began to emerge: one that would always be moody, funny, provocative, and wildly original. It's hard to imagine something of this caliber being released nowadays by anyone. 

6. Like Father, Like Son
Big year for Comedy here. In between Freaky Friday and Vice Versa, this was received as the 'lowbrow' body-swapping fable. I'm not sure I see it that way, but if that's the case, it's certainly the one with the best script, the best vibe, and by god the best soundtrack (Autograph, Crüe, Ramones). I dunno, I think if you try to intellectualize this kinda story, you're doing it wrong. 

7. The Monster Squad
While we're talking 'best-ofs,' here's the best Horror of the year (which, as this list proceeds, may seem like an audacious choice). It's a vampire movie, it's a werewolf movie, it's a goddamn mummy movie for chrissake -- what a refreshing departure at this point in the decade. It's a film about kids for kids, but in mood, plot, and sprawling parade of antagonists, it's a pitch perfect (though unlicensed) homage to the old Universal movies. Just accept it & don't be chickenshit. 

8. Lethal Weapon
It will forever be thought of as the explosive, buddy-cop Action Comedy that it is. Upon each viewing, one experiences the bleak, violent Melodrama that it is. The fact that it is indisputably all of these things at all times is a miracle of hardboiled fiction. 

9. Innerspace
Audrey Hepburn said, "Everything I learned I learned from the movies." We shop at the same store; and amongst all that Cinema has taught me is human anatomy - thanks to Joe Dante's SciFi Comedy with the mindless plot and the magnificent chemistry. (Not to mention the strongest visual effects that are as gorgeous as they are gruesome.)

10. Overboard
Critics weren't particularly kind to this twisted RomCom upon its release. Personally I could never get past my unconditional love for Kurt & Goldie, and this movie is a Greatest Hits Box Set of their charm and talents. And despite its far-fetched (and sometimes mean-spirited) premise, it's the second best kids' movie of the year. 

11. Predator
Action SciFi Horror - I don't know if it started in the 80s, and it certainly didn't end with the 80s, but this platter had the most pu pu in the era of Aliens and Critters. It's amazing: it's got virtuoso suspense, lurid gore, and one of the best monsters ever put on film, but what will always stay with us are the characters and the dialogue. (And that Alan Silvestri theme is a sexual tyrannosaurus.)

12. Full Metal Jacket
In the Kubrick rank, it's probably in my lower third (which is still enough to be one of the best of any given year). I completely love the structure of it and how the movie has two separate pant legs -- it's just that the second half couldn't live up to the pace and performances and the compositions of the basic training sequence. But for that first act as a standalone achievement, it's the darkest corner of Stanley's sense of humor. 

13. Hellraiser
It was to be "the future of Horror." And then it wasn't - it couldn't, it was that unprecedented; there was no way to follow in its footsteps. It introduced new fears, new mythologies, new sights to show us. You couldn't even say it was indicative of the time - some hair & wardrobe aside, it's unnervingly timeless and still packs a punch as the gothic vision of terror that it is. 

14. Stakeout
I recently watched this alongside its 1993 sequel, and no lie, it was one of the greatest movie experiences I've had in recent memory. I don't know if I was just in the right mood or what, but I felt a level of comfort and joy that had been absent from movie viewing for some time. All Double Features aside, I'll yet again advocate this movie largely for its soundtrack. 

15. The Stepfather
A Thriller though the eyes of the killer - that's hard to pull off; hard for the screenwriter, and hard for the actor. Combine Crime novelist Donald E. Westlake and greatest-actor-ever Terry O'Quinn and they make it look pretty easy. I'm always impressed when movies trick me into sympathizing with savages. 

16. Opera
Remarkable - a decade of slashers scurrying around trying to pull off the most elaborate kills, the most sickening slaughters, the most memorable mutilations. Along comes The Master to show us how it's done. There are effects and stunts and twists and camera moves and locations throughout that elevate the whole show to 'Action Giallo!' (which is exactly what I always needed it to be). 

17. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
I've poured my heart out over each entry in this franchise... except for this one. Statistically it's the "fan favorite" I guess, and I think that's because it's got a lotta plot; it's very linear and satisfying and populated with lotsa fun characters and free from a lotta the usual abstractions. And that's why it's the one I return to the least: it's so fucking button-down that I tend to get bored by its lack of "weirdness." Still though, the introduction to "MTV Freddy" and his very first theme song holds a great deal of importance to me. 

18. The Untouchables
I'm never able to say I'm a DePalma fan but I know when he makes a fun movie. I also can't credit him for making a flawless period piece - this movie is so aggressively 1987 that Boy George shoulda cameoed as Pretty Boy Floyd. But the cast as is - from Jack Kehoe to Billy Drago - is a smarmy, pulpy pastiche of violent Americana. (And Ennio's score is practically its own movie.) 

19. Harry and the Hendersons
The Bigfoot subgenre almost entirely sucks - save for this one sweet Family film that had enough heart (and money) to redeem the very idea of the entire folklore. The movie is basically a feature-length ALF episode (which is absolutely fine with me) but with slightly better makeup/animatronic effects; any time I take a look at it I'm awed by Rick Baker's now-iconic Sasquatch and I give in to that tired lament: "Man, I miss practical effects."

20. Prince of Darkness
It's hard for me to talk about this movie, because it's a hard movie to talk about. The film is a pristine John Carpenter mood and not much else. In fact, the movie wastes a lotta time insisting that it has a plot, which you would think intrudes on the bizarre atmosphere, but this obtuse, convoluted "story" only adds to the bizarre atmosphere. So to reiterate, it's a hard movie to talk about. 

6.22.2021

1986: Life moves pretty fast...


The 35th Anniversary is the "Jade Anniversary" -- which, in this context, means absolutely nothing. But it justifies the notion that there is such a thing as a "35th Anniversary," if that's important to ya. Me, I don't need any cultural consent to justify my love for this big awesome 80s year - especially when it comes to the movies. (And if you're not aware, I'm gonna make you aware.)

I was 3 years old. In April, my family and I moved to a small dead-end street called Bennett Place. I don't think I fully grasped the concept of "moving" - all I know is I fell asleep in a familiar setting and woke up in a room I'd never seen before - alone. Half awake I navigated the foreign dwelling with equal parts fear and wonder, in search of a familiar face, cautiously descending a flight of cold, uncarpeted stairs along bare, echoing walls, to find my mother and sister in what was to be 'the parlor.' In terms of the plot, this is where childhood began.


Chernobyl and Iran-Contra didn't make much of an impact on me. Due to my love of astronauts and space exploration, I was effectively shielded from any news of the Challenger explosion. Though no one bothered to hide their misery regarding the staggering loss of the World Series for the Red Sox -- I'd never seen grownups so forlorn. My only awareness of Halley's Comet was a commemorative Matchbox car that I had (which is now tattooed on my arm). I was simultaneously introduced to Nickelodeon and the first two Elm Street movies. Steeped and marinating in Bon Jovi and Real Ghostbusters. The California Raisins made their TV commercial debut. I made my first voyage to the movie theater for Star Trek IV. I spent days exploring a new neighborhood of woods, secret hideouts and passageways, an open field, a playground, and a corner store full of candy and trading cards. Pee-Wee Herman had his own show. There was no such thing as school. 1986 was Life, and I was good at it.


Our generation is accused of idealizing our youth more than past generations, but it really doesn't take any extra mental effort to simply glance at how neat shit was. Though it's not until we're gradually introduced to a hostile world that we really begin to appreciate the safety of home & family & juvenescence. Oh, and the quality of Motion Pictures. Every year of the 1980s is a piñata full of the pop icons we've been beaten over the head with ever since nostalgia became a marketing technique. But we know it more than just a collage of catchphrases and caricatures -- because we know more and we know better.


This is an odd year; there are those aforementioned flagship features with their universal appeal, and then a ton of deep cuts and B-sides that we all know just as well or more. So many, in fact, that I can compile a robust list of favorites, and you could do a completely different lineup, and they'd both be a strong flavor of this particular year. So, same as I did for 1985, I've kept it to a modest 20 - mostly for the sake of keeping it sturdy and compelling. The omissions hurt, and hopefully you feel my pain enough to tabulate your own tally - particularly without any rules or regulations.

This is where the law stops, and I start.

- Paul



1. Manhunter
So I was soured on this one for the longest time because my parents wholly dismissed it for straying too far from the book. But when I slipped into a Mann obsession in my teens, I discovered this Vaporwave chiller that managed to embellish all the hallmarks that Miami Vice gets credit for. An aesthetic was perfected here, and it's one that speaks to me at a very high volume; a moody mosaic of precise, colorful compositions cut to Synth and Prog Rock, paced like a Pulp Detective novel. This entire vibe feels so trendy right now, but no one bothers to even attempt to pull it off anymore (not even Michael Mann). It could be for the best, considering this can never be topped.

2. Running Scared
My favorite Buddy Cop Comedy of all time -- I'm not even gonna bother trying to think of any others. The supporting cast is a dream, the action & stunts are clever & enthralling, the score/songtrack is monumental, and the juxtaposition between 80s Chicago and Key West is one of the most visceral time machines you'll ever ride. But all of this is secondary to the chemistry between Gregory Hines and Billy Crystal, forged by a sophisticated script and inspired performances that could've easily kicked off a welcomed sequel or franchise. 

3. The Money Pit
I hate when people refer to a movie as "weird" - but this is a pretty weird movie; a lite RomCom built on the ramshackle foundation of slapstick, stunts, and sight gags, all driven by quick, sharp dialogue. Given its fixed location and broad emotions, it's practically a lowbrow opera of sorts, and all the lyrics have been stuck in my head my whole life.

4. Cobra
Even while you're watching it, you think it's a big fiery 1980s Stallone Actioner, but if you're paying as close attention as you should, you'll recognize it as the hard-boiled, polychromatic, killer thriller that it is. The vapid plot and dialogue only accentuate the voluptuous soundtrack and rainbow imagery that all movies should have - but don't. One of the other fun things about it is that it was a critical failure -- so I like to go ahead and believe it was too cerebral for most folks (and I encourage you to believe the same).

5. Blue Velvet
In a decade known for its mindless action, broad comedy, and children's fantasy, there sure is a lotta beautiful artistry. Seeing this movie for the first time (in its correct aspect ratio) is what turned me into a David Lynch fan; it's when I became aware that even the most straightforward dialogue scenes could (and should) be compositionally striking. As one of the best-looking films of all time, I still use it (even subconsciously) as a barometer to measure the quality of all other movies. 

6. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Not all heroes wear capes... Was this ever more apparent than in the era of Indiana Jones and Christa McAuliffe? ...anyone? ...anyone? I wasn't even in Kindergarten yet when I saw this and found I was already rooting for its antiestablishment message. But that's its genius: the premise, the characters, even the setting are all so compelling and fun because they're wrapped in genuinely funny comedy. 

7. Flight of the Navigator
People love to call attention to the unintentional scariness of the movies of their youth, but there's nothing unintentional about the spookiness of this Family Film. This isn't searching for pirate treasure or even battling Universal Monsters - this is existential horror from the darkest corners of time & space; a juvenile Twilight Zone saturated in nightmarish production design and an Alan Silvestri music score that mercilessly accentuates the contrast between wonderment and dread. Every child should see this.

8. Crocodile Dundee
The sweetest fish-outta-water tale ever told, it's blissfully aimless and beautifully paced; we get as much of a flavor of The Outback as we do of urban America. (And 1980s New York City is such an important character in Cinema.) Talkin' a lot about music on this list (not surprisingly) - the final 5 minutes of this movie always reignites my appreciation (and desperate longing) for great film scores.

9. The Color of Money
Boy did this movie end up being an acquired taste; viewing it for the first time many years after its release, it seemed lazy by comparison. But it's not - it falls somewhere between Taxi Driver and Shutter Island in terms of Marty's moodiest motion pictures; it may not be as confrontational or contemplative as his other stuff, but the smell of booze & blues sticks to your clothes forever.

10. The Wraith
This was a baffling movie to a little kid. As an adult, that very same bewilderment still has me hooked -- that & it has one of the Top 10 greatest soundtracks of all time. But that's the trick of an excellent soundtrack: it wouldn't work as well without this specific movie, and vice versa.

11. Three Amigos!
It works in the same way Monty Python and the Holy Grail works; you take the silliness out of it and you're left with a rich, period-specific Action/Adventure genre pic. But pretentiousness aside, this is one of those rare Comedies that's worthy of its plethora of A-list comedian stars. I never had a 'cowboy' phase as a kid, but this most likely sparked my lust for the desert. 

12. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
I don't get butthurt when my expectations aren't met; I do feel disappointment when I expect a good movie and get a bad one instead... Some sequels are unique and bold enough to exist beyond comparison (Gremlins 2, Freddy's Dead, Halloween 3), and TCM2 breaks free from the ruthless terror of the original and blossoms into a loud, yucky Comedy that functions as the most creative Slasher flick you'll ever see.

13. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
Speaking of breaking the mold... Part V was a breath of abstract air, but Part VI is when this franchise finally became what it was supposed to be: fun! Gone was the self-seriousness of an attempted "scary" Horror movie as we welcomed the self-awareness of the pace and humor of a zombie in a hockey mask killing people we don't know or care about in funny ways. Seriously one of the most appreciated changes in tone I've ever experienced.

14. Howard the Duck
Look, I don't know what you want me to say - it's still as strong and crazy as when I was a kid. I can make broad, superficial remarks about how Howard is likable and the FX are competent and Lea Thompson is a babe, but it's strength continues to be its shameless derangement that dares you to not take it seriously. 

15. Demons 2
When is it acceptable for a sequel to plainly rehash everything from the previous movie? Only when it's a nonstop kaleidoscopic assault on your eyes, ears, and stomach. Had it been anything less (or different) it would've been a boring misstep -- instead, it's a revolting 'Round 2' of rotting flesh, drooling smiles, glowing eyes, and cinematography that puts most other movies to shame. 

16. The Fly
We've played this game before: imagine a hypothetical remake, then assign the perfect director to the job. Well, here's an example of when it actually happened. But like most of Cronenberg's resume, the highlights are the script, the performances, and my god the makeup effects. Body Horror was a rational phobia in the 80s, and this movie twists the knife in a wonderful way.

17. Aliens
Second to soundtracks and scores (iconic James Horner theme anyone?) there's a lotta sequels here (this is the fifth on this list). And like all the previously noted titles, this was no ordinary followup to no ordinary movie; never has "raise the stakes" delivered on such a violently massive scale. Ripley knows how it's gonna go, and it's fun because so do we.

18. Highlander
So here's one I sought out because of its soundtrack, and like everyone I got caught up in its bizarre SciFi mythology. But even still to this day, no matter how many wonderful performances Clancy Brown turns in, he's still The Kurgan to me.

19. TerrorVision
There was nothing subtle about the way Horror filmmakers were paying homage to 50s Cinema during this decade, and this punk/alien/monster movie mashup is one of the most audacious. Somehow, simultaneously, it also parodies the 1980s (particularly through the fashions and attitudes of the Diane Franklin and Jon Gries characters), making it essential to this particular list for this particular year.

20. Big Trouble in Little China
But really, what sums up this year the best? Originality, humor, visual effects, quotable lines, kindertrauma, culture shock, suspension of disbelief, solid gold soundtracks, guns, knives, lasers, explosions, and all the other stuff we can find in any year of Film... But never this much all at once. And I continue to have hope that it could happen on this scale again, as I still believe that loose promise: "the check is in the mail."

11.04.2020

YOUR EXCUSES ARE YOUR OWN: What to watch in November

 
The correct phrase would be "Post-Holiday Letdown," but this year, we call it "No more Spooky Pussy for you."
 
It's hard, we know - but you can put that hardness into a new seasonal celebration: the rich, brown, cold month of November. It's a tricky month; it's a transitional period bridging the two major holidays - but we shouldn't discredit the B-sides and Deep Cuts that play nicely with all that this month has to offer (up to & including a notable American festival). But apart from that, when it comes to these grey months, it takes some extra helpings of imagination and personal experience to really set a tone that's memorable; I'm sure there are plenty of movies set in November, but that's far from the point - it's more fun to be less literal.
 
This is what we watch -- you do what you want.
 
- Paul
 
 
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
The cloudy skies & crunchy leaves make this the most logical metamorphosis from Halloween to Happy Holidays.

Bringing Out the Dead (1999)
The texture of the movie may feel like a sweaty armpit, but its November '99 release date still gives me a chill.

Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
It's supposed to be Summer (I think), but the rainy nighttime setting has strong chilly weather vibes.
Always Be Cozy.

A Clockwork Orange (1971)
As I asserted in last year's Sounds of the Season, this film is saturated in European fog and cold breath, allowing no better time to viddy well.

Son-in-Law (1993)
So even though the entire movie is about coming home from school for Thanksgiving, it took me roughly a quarter century to even consider it as a holiday film.
 
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1987)
I don't think I need to say much here, except to use this as an example to point out what a severe sacrilege it would be to watch movies out of season -- might as well eat peanut butter & onions in the Summertime for Christ's sake.
 
American Gangster (2007)
There is a Thanksgiving sequence in there, and while the story spans several years, the lion's share of scenes are generally dark & grey - literally and figuratively.
 
Prisoners (2013)
The story kicks off with one very tragic Thanksgiving Day, and the remainder of the movie is freezing rain and darkness. Season's Greetings.
 
Home For the Holidays (1995)
Food, Family, and Fun - just like real life! No, really - this depiction of the joyous celebration of mealtime and togetherness is saturated in the sounds & smells of this very tense & bittersweet American institution.

Dutch (1991)
I'll forgo all the tired parallels between this & Planes, Trains... and treat it as its own thing - cuz it is! I mention the accuracy of the seasonal atmosphere that permeates most of these movies, but there are moods and shots in this film that speak more loudly to me than any of the others.

Blood Rage (1987)
I know there's debate as to how many Thanksgiving Horror movies there are, but this is the only one I've ever bothered with - and I don't feel at all deprived; this is the perfect amount of gratuitous gore for this short, specific part of my year.

Addams Family Values (1993)
If you watch this during any other time of year, get your shit together man.

Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
Sure it charts not one but several Thanksgiving Days, but really that's just a rational excuse to watch one of the better Woody Dramas.

The Beatles Anthology (1995)
The original, abridged docuseries on this obscure Liverpool band from the 1960s originally aired on ABC in November of 1995. And so, that's when my lust began. And so, every year, if I'm in the right mood, I try to rekindle the flames of this marriage.

Killing Them Softly (2012)
Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is it an election year? If you answered "Yes" to any of these, then this largely overlooked vaudeville act will keep you company.

7.19.2020

I need your help to get back to the year 1985


No, really. I'm not just being lazy or obvious with the title -- I was 2 years old, so my memories are sorta constricted by the shelter of childhood. Not sheltered from art or culture, but from the weight of the world, from the word on the street, from the mood in the room. I'm talking about flavor, here. At that age, you make your own ambience - although, incidentally, my vibes came from video rentals, HBO, MTV, Imperial Stormtroopers, the coming of Gozer, "We Are the World," and reruns of M*A*S*H. So, come to think of it, I suppose I was pretty up-to-speed in '85. Actually, that was probably the last time I was legitimately hip; no cult status or indie niches or nostalgia traps - just groovin' on whatever came next.

But I guess that's how that works, yeah? Everyone's got their moment - those early days when you'll just eat whatever's put in front of you, and it tastes damn fine. And I could take the "objective approach" again, but I won't because I'm exhausted with it - I'll just say flat-out that 1985 was a mondo radical year to spend your terrible twos; I could excusably saturate myself in Inspector Gadget and "Careless Whisper" without the care or concerns of terrorist hijackings or Voodoo Economics.
My God, how I've not grown.


35 years. That's a bigger distance than Marty travelled back in time (originally), and it's the furthest we've reached with one of these anniversary essays - the reason for the latter being that I've already done 1990 and 1995, and I'd have no interest in reading a Y2K retrospective, let alone writing one. So instead I've reversed the polarity & decided to catch the wave on this totally tubular year. It's the numerical midpoint of the decade, but does that necessarily make it the cultural pinnacle? In other words, was this the most "80s" year because it was in the middle? How does one measure such a thing? More than that, how do you even define it? Is "Like a Virgin" more indicative of this fixed period of time than "Papa Don't Preach?" I ask mostly because I like thinking about that kinda stuff - so much so that my brain is almost exclusively occupied with such things. So, while I try to maintain a reasonable sense of humility, I shamelessly admit that this kind of analysis falls into my circle of expertise (if I have such a circle), and I can say with certainty that there is no definitive zenith for these short little "eras" we've carved out for ourselves.

But when you look at the movies... well, there is a lot going on here: from Marty McFly to Mama Fratelli, from John Hughes to Jason Voorhees, I think it's safe to say that a lotta 1985 ended up on t-shirts. But that's the brutal beauty of that time period: not a single year of that decade is exempt from the piles of popcorn we celebrate (or condemn) to this day. And I, for one, was and still am a glutton for that butter & salt, because while some of the following subject matter may seem confrontationally dated, the entertainment value still holds up in an almost superior way. Better put, the various big-budget hallmarks of these big-budget movies are still the model today. Better put still: this readout tells you where you're going, where you are, and where you were.

- Paul


1. Back to the Future
Just like Star Wars or Raiders, it didn't necessarily need a franchise - this first and best movie does just fine on its own. Everyone seems to know it and love it and quote it and talk about it, so I'm not really sure what I can add - except just that. On the surface, it's an Action/Adventure SciFi Comedy with a clever-but-simple premise, and beneath that thin veneer is a sea of seedy and cerebral subplots and references. And so there's the description, but there's a chemistry in the cast and the music and the dialogue and the structure that can't (or shouldn't) be analyzed or summarized into a blurb or soundbite.
But I suppose if you could point to one characteristic that makes it so engrossing, consider the notion that this one cohesive story manages to branch out into five consecutive crescendos in the span of 30 minutes (not to mention two logical, feature-length continuations). This is storytelling at its heaviest.

2. After Hours
Marty doing Comedy - except the punchline is that all Scorsese flicks are fuckin' funny. I mean, not like a clown, but still.
I think what it is (and I don't think I'm alone) is that this kinda premise and this kinda character are most appealing to me - historically or in fiction: the conscientious objector who must become a warrior against a hostile world. From Joan of Arc to Hamlet to Falling Down, it's timeless, universal, and its relatable absurdity is the best kind of comedy.

3. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge
I've been singing this song for years, and haters gonna hate. Without an ounce of irony, camp, or nostalgia, it's genuinely one of the most colorfully creepy Horror films of the decade (and this is a big decade, folks) - within the same brackets as The Shining and Hellraiser. And because I've exhaustively and enthusiastically spoken and written these praises so many times now (once in the most definitive way), regardless of your own views on the film, if you're reading this, you're part of this club. So even if your opinions still contradict my own, I remain comforted knowing I've given at least some of you pause to reconsider.
You are all my children etc.

4. Pee-wee's Big Adventure
A movie like this is hard to define. (Tim Burton made a handful of such movies.) Even to say "a movie like this" really has no meaning. It's gothic, it's biblical, it's a Greek epic poem about love & loss, it's a lighthearted escapade and a waking nightmare. And it's for kids - and I don't say that to be sensationalistic, but to assert that it's quite possibly the greatest kids' movie of my generation. If I take nothing else from it, it's that in the face of danger, injustice, scary clowns, and phantom truck drivers, one can overcome any obstacle without growing or maturing in any way whatsoever.

5. Demons
I would go so far as to say that most movies in the Horror genre hang their hat on their general mood and a handful of scary set pieces. Demons, on the other hand, is wall-to-wall gore and terror with nary a break in the action, all set to Euro-disco and Top 40 Rock. As a true makeup FX spectacular of green pus and torn appendages, it doesn't afford one that old adage of "close-your-eyes-at-the-scary-parts" -- this movie is the scary part.

6. Santa Claus: The Movie
I feel like I mention this movie here at least once a year, but I've seen a lotta Christmas movies and a lotta Santa Claus movies, and this is still the one that has everything on my list. Yes, the entire story and tone changes halfway through, but the first half is so damn engrossing that I'll follow these characters through whatever silly plot devices they throw at me.
Also, because the main function of the shift in pace is to establish "present day" (1985), it rivals Back to the Future as the most "1985" movie on this list.

7. The Breakfast Club
Where were we? The most "1985" movie? Within the parameters of "film culture," maybe so.
Most people had a character they identified with, or at least knew someone who was like them. I was young enough that the five stereotypes were a bit foreign to me, so it more or less informed me how (and how not) to behave once I was fully foisted into forced quarters with my peers.
John Hughes movies were always intimate, but typically very busy. That, plus taking all the other marquee extravaganzas of this decade into account, it's just so refreshing (even more so today) to digest such an accessible, dialogue-driven character study.

8. Real Genius
This movie succeeds on so many different planes that I don't have enough space to talk about all of it here. But I think the most important thing to note is that they managed to do a sorta Ferris Bueller before there was a Ferris Bueller. There are so many great scenes and characters, but if we're just gonna focus on one thing today, I wanna point out what tricky business it is to create and depict an arrogant, handsome, sarcastic know-it-all that an audience can relate to, and even root for. And I know some folks don't agree (to hell with them), but Val Kilmer's Chris Knight is certainly my spirit animal.

9. Just One of the Guys
Was this the era of the "Teen Movie?" Hardly - but this is probably when increased self-awareness helped coin the phrase.
Given this movie's time and premise, it's a lot less poppy and abrasive as it could've (though sometimes should've) been. There isn't any kinda 'transformation' montage cut to an uppity New Wave tune (sadly?), but the sitcom-ish structure is firmly grounded in character development and some light social commentary that keeps it moving just as fast as the gimmickry of most gender-swapping fables -- and Teen Movies.

10. Lost in America
Albert Brooks (like any auteur, and certainly like any Comedy auteur) can pass as his own genre. And one could debate (I would) that this is his Gold Rush or Annie Hall; it could certainly serve as the best example to introduce his pace and tone to a layman. The movie is a treasure chest of scenes and lines, but Albert's at his best when he's frantic and frustrated. So without getting into the entire story arc, I'll disclose that I always look forward to the first and fiercest confrontation between Albert and Julie Hagerty after her disastrous moment of weakness.

11. The Goonies
The movie is a delight: it's a joy to watch, it's funny and exciting, and every cast member nails it. But I've never been part of the cult. I enjoy watching it for the Cyndi Lauper song, the old Baby Ruth wrapper, the pirate treasure, and the immense pleasure of listening to Joe Pantoliano and Robert Davi exchange dialogue. But most of all, it inspired me (perhaps somewhat still) to seek out and fulfill my own adventures - real or made-up.

12. Teen Wolf
Horror Comedy is like the Colonel's secret recipe: try as they may to replicate it time & again, it's usually way off. Not that there's any model to refer to, but my list is short & savory -- and this is on it. This flick's got so much charm and subtle (note the italics) humor that it may be quite possible that its broader attributes are what put people off. In other words: Teen Wolf is highbrow material, and I could explain it to you but you probably wouldn't understand.

13. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning
Another movie on here that deserves its own dissertation (and so I have), it's relevant to this list not just because I adore it so, but also in its own objective way: Friday the 13th is "important" to the 1980s (I guess), but this mid-decade entry felt like the major shift from "timeless campfire tale" to "modern slasher touchstone." Nevermind that it doesn't truly fall in line with the continuity of the series (none of them do), but the story is so zen that its own continuity has no structure or point. It's just that good.

14. Cat's Eye
In recent years, critics and bloggers have pointed out that Anthology Horror was, and is, a unique novelty that was tough to come by in the mainstream. Truth is, that's a buncha bullshit: the real challenge is finding the best ones in this actually-sprawling sub-genre. This one certainly comes highly recommended by me: per usual, there's a famous standout segment and some B-sides that you'll eventually (or immediately) come to love equally. But the punkest thing about this assortment is that, despite the film's title, there's no thematic connection at all between the tales. I like that.

15. Clue
People continually knock the idea of 'board game adaptations' any time the industry threatens the possibility of one on the horizon -- as though everyone forgot how goddamn good this one was. But that's the simple brilliance of this whole concept; title and character names aside, a good whodunnit (and where and how) is easy to mess up, but when it's done right (casting, setting, legitimate surprises), man does it pay off.

16. Invasion U.S.A.
The second (but not the last) Christmas movie on the list - but that's kinda irrelevant. What is relevant is that rarely before or since have I seen such daring stunts or brutal Action-violence on celluloid.
Now, if you're not completely familiar with the very specific brand of Action that is 'Chuck Norris Cinema,' this is the movie you're most likely picturing in your mind - but more.

17. Witness
I'm sure I've said this before, but any time Harrison Ford isn't one of his franchise heroes is truly satisfying. Not that he isn't always good, but the blaster and the whip never left a lotta room for surprise (Force Awakens included). But the reason he made those other roles so much his own is that, in addition to 'rugged and courageous,' he knows how to do 'flawed and vulnerable' - which are all on full display here.

18. Return of the Living Dead
Speaking of Horror Comedy... I didn't see this until much later in life, and it was (and still is) the perfect antidote to all of the self-serious and sardonic zombie pics that I'd been seeing. Much less a "Comedy" with typical punchlines, but a considerably much less serious take on a subject that was (and still is) completely dumb. Of course, one of the ironies is that a lot of that "less serious" tone comes from how defiantly mean-spirited it is. Bad taste is rarely this tangy.

19. Spies Like Us
This is pretty close to the bottom of the list because, at the end of the day, 'it has its moments.' The thing was that, throughout the 80s, the expectations of "SNL Alumni Comedy" was so high that anything less than great was a bit of a disappointment. But 35 years later, the playing field is a bit more level, and I can consume it as the amiable, lite romp that it is.

20. Trancers
The third and final Christmas movie on the list - which is relevant, because the plot sure as shit isn't. Trancers is a Full Moon Feature, which is a very specific kind of film-- er, video (who're we kidding). But if you know them and know this movie, you know that this was an achievement of a higher caliber; it may be a stale and convoluted Science Fiction campsite, but it's glazed in clever action, likable characters, and genuinely funny dialogue and delivery. And it's a Christmas movie!