1980: Give the past the slip

"The only thing new in the world is the history you do not know."

- Harry S. Truman

The main reason I started exploring these anniversary milestones was as an excuse to reminisce about the major pop culture events that I was there for; a means to keep a journal for the stuff I should've journaled the first time. Lately I've been moving away from my own timeline into years I have no emotional connection to - either because I was too young to remember or I just hadn't yet been born. As a result it's forced me to get more philosophical and abstract (and probably pretentious) about trying to conure up some objective sense of nostalgia for all of us to share, but really it's just my lust for history gussied up into some Kumbaya singalong we can all participate in. It sucks showing up to the party only to find out you missed its peak -- and so I'm here to learn about the past, and I'm condemning myself to repeat it. 

 

Same as the start of any decade (in the 20th century at least), the fashions and feels of the previous era bleed into the next one in nebulous ways. TV shows like Little on the Prairie and Alice were still cracking the Top 10 in ratings, Barbra Streisand and Bob Seger were topping the charts in record sales, and popular songs like "Upside Down" by Diana Ross and "Funkytown" by Lipps Inc. felt very much like a culture we were about to leave behind. But while some things remained as jarring reminders of the 1970s, there were plenty of totally tubular debuts that became synonymous with The Reagan Era. Pac-Man and The Rubik's Cube were released globally. U2, Iron Maiden, and The Sugarhill Gang released their debut albums. Magnum P. I. and Bosom Buddies premiered. John Lennon was killed. Mount St. Helens erupted. The Iraq-Iran War began. And, Ronald Regan was elected President of the U.S. The aftertaste of bell-bottoms and Disco was certainly still swishing around the zeitgeist, but the decade of brash greed and big hair was breakin' its way into history one power move at a time. 

 

In today's culture, "The 1980s" has practically become a brandname as recognizable and marketable as Nike and Nintendo. The phrase itself conjures up a lotta stylized imagery and audio that, while they may be clichés, are all rooted in very real aesthetics/institutions/scenarios; you could've walked out of a matinee of Friday the 13th as you cranked Gary Numan on your Sony Walkman on your way to 7-Eleven for some Jell-O Pudding Pops, all before the end of Year Zero. But unless you were entirely hip and persistently progressive, you were still riding the vibes of the 70s; with Carter still in office and The Doobies still on the dial it was hard to tell which way was forward. Surprisingly, one avenue that seemed to be largely directionless was the movies. 

 

Mainstream American Cinema is like chips & dip to me - particularly when I was younger. That's actually true for most of the planet, and it was especially true in the big splashy era that was The 80s. But from my own point of view, the razzle-dazzle was not yet present at the beginning of the decade, and frankly the hard-hitting originality of The 70s had also faded away - at least as far as Hollywood was concerned. I will point out that three monumental, iconic American Comedies were released that year, and I suppose that's a pretty impressive legacy. But for me, 1980 was most notable for European Horror: an intermingled parade of cannibals, zombies, witches, and ghosts that found their way to The States - in fictional and literal terms. There were a few significant shocks from the U.S. but many of them were incredibly tame and immensely boring - especially when held up against the splatter that would inspire the eventual subgenre that became "80s Horror" and turned me and everyone else in my generation into confirmed ghost story and horror film addicts. 

- Paul

1. The Fog

In a time when "spookiness" began to fall out of favor, a master of the medium was gaining momentum, and his grasp of mood may've peaked right here; when a writer/director also composes their own music score, you're entirely at the mercy of their world. It's so fitting that it's an honest-to-god campfire tale because I grew up with this movie and so its urban legend angle still works on me with those same childhood chills. 

2. STAR WARS: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

The original movie brought fun and optimism to the gritty 1970s cinematic landscape. Ironically, its sequel brought forboding bitter pills to kick off the safe decade of happily-ever-afters. But this was most exciting because this world was still brand new; unlike Superman or James Bond, we couldn't be sure how menacing it could get, and they wielded that power like a Master Jedi. 

3. City of the Living Dead

It's my favorite zombie movie - if you can even call them that; they seem to have a variety of super powers that allows them to move through walls and eviscerate victims telepathically. (And you thought running zombies were trouble.) There's so much grotesque creativity in this movie and it's executed with such excess that it's nearly a Comedy. It goes hard, in a way mainstream Film no longer does. 

4. The Shining

There's barely a single frame in the whole picture that isn't recognizable and/or renowned -- even the dissolves and title cards are championed. I call attention to that because that's exactly how is should be; you could say Kubrick quite possibly had an eye for detail, but I'd be quick to nominate this movie as his most meticulous in terms of poise and precision. Like a spine-tingling symphony. 

5. The Blues Brothers

You'd undoubtedly find this in the Comedy section, but I'll be damned if it isn't one of the best Action Movies of the year and maybe all time. Even the music (which is aces) takes a backseat to the car carnage that honestly gets overlooked on all the Car Chase Movie lists. 

6. Airplane!

Like Strangelove before it, this parody has proven to have more longevity than the material it's spoofing. The funniest part is that I didn't know any of the Airport movies when I was little so I actually got caught up in the drama of the food poisoning, war flashbacks, and glue sniffing. 

7. Caddyshack

Save for its tedious youth subplot it's like a greatest hits album of 1980 comedians - or at least one of those cereal variety packs. Even as a kid I thought the gopher puppet was lame, and as an adult I've finally reached the point where I think Ted Knight gives the funniest performance. 

8. Zombie Holocaust

Zombies vs. Cannibals: everyone loses, the audience wins! Not to be confused with Dr. Butcher M.D. which is a shorter cut of this film and does not feature Nico Fidenco's music - which is notable to me as it's in my Top 5 movie scores of all time. 

9. Times Square

If I didn't know any better I'd swear this movie was made just as an excuse to showcase Robin Johnson's virtuoso acting abilities; I'm never entirely convinced this isn't some documentary about this vibrant troubled teen and they just built a story around her (accompanied by one of my Top 5 soundtracks of all time). 

10. The Elephant Man

Regardless of costumes and context, most Period Films can never fully disguise their actual year of production. Watching this movie I'm only ever convinced I'm looking at Victorian England -- at the very least there's nothing here that indicates "Another One Bites the Dust" was on the radio while it played in theaters. 

11. Canibal Apocalypse

A truly bombastic title for a movie that is actually pretty intimate and illuminating. Really it's a Vietnam Movie in the vein of Rolling Thunder and Deer Hunter - for all I know the cannibalism plot is just a metaphor for postwar trauma. 

12. Inferno

I've seen this movie several times and I still don't know what's going on - yet it always has me on the edge of my seat. Elaborate set pieces, profound cinematography, genuine surprises, and disgusting brutality is truly more than enough to make compelling Cinema. 

13. Nightmare City

Diabolical zombies that punch and kick and stab and shoot guns, all in addition to their normal flesh eating habits - it's just as unpredictable to the movie's victims as it is to the audience. 

14. Raging Bull

I embraced this movie in a big way, back in my film school days but I eventually lost touch with the melodramatic side of it. But still, all the sequences in the ring truly are some of the greatest spectacles Marty's ever pulled off. 

15. Alligator

Not since Jaws has a Creature Feature managed to be so effortlessly engrossing with minimal use of a creature. Robert Forster headlines a cast of character actors in what is largely a satisfying police procedural. It's just a bonus that the rarely-seen alligator does, indeed, kick ass. 

16. Christmas Evil

With the Slasher boom already beginning to take "shape", this grim allegory went off in a different, better direction that focused less on mindless casualties and more on the sad degeneration of its lead "monster". It's also an aggressively Christmassy Christmas Movie. 

17. Dressed to Kill

Whenever I review any Brian DePalma movie, I declare it to be "his most Brian Depalma movie" -- but I really mean it this time. More than any of the others, this film dares you to not take it seriously. And whether you do or don't, you're gonna enjoy it either way. 

18. Humanoids From the Deep

Whenever I hear "low budget 80s Monster Movie" it's always cooler in my head than what they put on the screen. Humanoids actually fulfills my expectations in most areas - particularly the monsters themselves (designed and created by Fog maestro Rob Bottin). 

19. The Godsend

Evil kid situations usually get dragged down in a lotta exposition and plot. This is a refreshing take (for any genre) that maintains its eerie mystery while managing to unfold at an alarming pace. Also the kids in these kindsa movies can sometimes come off as annoying, but this little girl is super sinister. 

20. Cannibal Holocaust

I adored it for its cinematography and music score - and I still very much do. I'll always hesitate revisiting it without shielding my eyes with my hands - so I'm forced to make a compromise, because the movie does not. 

STATIC SHOTS

1980

STATIC SHOTS

Top 10 Times The Dog Died

Supposedly tests audiences determined a long time ago that you can't kill the dog; regardless of the quality of the film, simulated animal cruelty will get you a bad grade. And yet, as I sit here, every canine I can think of bit the dust; when I thought of this topic I immediately came up with like 30 instances, to the point I had to make a master list that required critical thinking so that I could begin whittling down. I guess that makes the point that despite how well we remember these movies, we never forget when the dog dies. That sorta makes them iconic in a way; I don't know about you, but when they make a point to let us know that the dog lives it feels like a bit of a pussy move. And pussy has no place on this list. 

- Paul

The Thing

This movie tops a lotta lists in a lotta categories, but it's pretty indisputable under this heading. Even though it's the least realistic in terms of context, it's so graphic and the real dogs are such good actors that it feels the most realistic. 

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

Part One served up cows and goats and it unnerved us greatly. Leave it to Steven to make us watch the family pet get eaten whole by a T Rex. (Even Pippet's death was off camera.) It's the only cool part of this movie. 

No Country For Old Men

One of the most suspenseful moments in a film made up entirely of suspenseful moments. Between this and American Gangster Josh Brolin was officially Dog Killer '07. 

Ginger Snaps

A truly effective opening for a Horror Movie and I'm sure it read beautifully on the page, but it's one of the more upsetting entries here mostly for the genuine reaction the kid has to this screaming actress. 

I Am Legend

I don't remember too much about this movie, but I do remember this moment; not so much for the emotional impact but for Will's strong performance and the brilliant approach of leaving the camera on him to capture that performance. 

A Fish Called Wanda

When once isn't enough you can make it an ongoing gag throughout an entire film. When I was little it took a lotta courage and understanding to accept that this was meant to be funny.

To Kill a Mockingbird

Another one from when I was very young and had to understand that theriocide could actually sometimes be necessary(?). In any event, it's amazing the way movies can shape and inform our values early on - usually for the better. 

Signs

What's more shocking: a child forced to kill their own pet, or our own imagination of what the aliens did to the other one. For the first time, M. Night lets the audience decide something on their own. 

Manos: The Hands of Fate

To the best of my knowledge, Peppy is the only character that gets killed in this movie, proving that Hal Warren truly understood the effective tropes of Horror Cinema. 

Turner and Hooch

The Old Yeller of my generation (discounting the equine expiration of Neverending Story) and a true shock at the time for the partner to die in a Buddy Cop Picture. Everyone sighted Big as Tom's big flex of range, but this one felt like a greater balance of funny and sad to me. 

1984: It's The Golden Country -- almost

1984 did not turn out the way George Orwell had predicted... Or did it? 

There's your tagline. Or how about simply Truth is stranger than fiction.

The world had its share of plight: war, famine, assassination. Foreign debts, homeless vets. AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz. The inaugural Police Academy movie. It was bad but it wasn't a full-blown dystopia, and not nearly as Orwellian as it's become with each passing decade. So if you were lucky enough to not be hungry or dying or taken hostage during this year, there was plenty around to entertain and enlighten. 

I was a year old so I didn't know what the hell was going on, and if I did I can't remember; probably watching Hill Street Blues and filling my diaper. But if you've kept up with this series you know that I or you or anyone can make approximations based on time and place; I'm sure that outside of working imaginary retail on a Fisher-Price cash register I maintained my steady diet of HBO, MTV, and VCR. So what does that spell: lotsa Tina Turner and Thompson Twins, Meryl Streep and Matt Dillon, Who's The Boss? and Cheers. 

Parents (and by "parents" I mean me) will scrutinize and compare the conditions of the environment surrounding their own kids vs. how it was way back when; not in any malicious or resentful way (though some parents do) but just as a highly invested observer - on a large sociological scope but also on the more intimate domestic level. At a glance, when my child was one year old he was surrounded by telescreens spewing misinformation and couldn't breathe the air in a public setting. He didn't know or care beyond the song & dance of his sheltered reality, and I was blessed to have that same outlook and maintain that innocent ignorance for my own first few years. And it's that very outlook that grownups still crave: we attach it to cartoons and pop songs and call it "nostalgia" and we'll sit and watch a new Ghostbusters or Beverly Hills Cop movie not for quality entertainment but to role-play the singular time in our lives when nothing was expected of us and the only evils of the world came in the form of a 100 ft. marshmallow man. 

So no, it was not like Orwell's novel; the year capped off with a buncha rich celebrities chanting "feed the world" so society as a whole wasn't physically or psychologically repressed, and I think the movies reflected that: a lotta fantasy mixed in with supernatural threats. Movies about dancing and mermaids; lots of fluffy escapism but it all had substance, and that substance was rooted more in raw originality and expert storytelling than in any political or sanctimonious subtext. Unfettered, intelligent Entertainment. For the most part. 

A year of icons! We were introduced to Axel Foley, Gizmo, Freddy Krueger, the T-800, Mr. Miyagi, Buckaroo Banzai, Boogaloo Shrimp, Booger, and Slimer. Indiana Jones took a brief Nazi break, Prince and Mozart became cinematic rock stars, and everybody cut footloose. 80s gonna 80s I guess. Even my Top 20 list of mainstream blockbusting excitement can't hold all the colorful classics of contemporary cinema. That's obviously because they're not all winners in my book, but the ones that are had the tools and had the talent to make 1984 one helluva standout year. 

- Paul

1. Ghostbusters

A pinnacle of 1980s American Cinema as well as global popular culture, and my favorite Comedy of all time. No surprises there, but I never tire of stressing its effectiveness as a Horror Movie; the 80s is forever linked to its low budget Slasher fare, but when the scary movies went big, they went hard. When this film decides to be serious it doesn't hold back and has enough shit to turn you white - it approaches the level of Poltergeist or Aliens, and unlike something like Beetlejuice only sometimes does the comedy spill over into the terror. It's that tonal imbalance that cranks the contrast in this "Dark Comedy." 

2. Starman

On the short list of movies that cause me to shed a tear - largely due to Jack Nitzsche's gut wrenching music score. But there's a lotta things that come to mind with this film. Firstly it's one of the best Food Movies of all time (sandwiches, pies, milkshakes). It's also endlessly quotable and I've been pulling lines from it since I could talk. But now in hindsight (or maybe even upon its release) it's a terrific reminder that Carpenter never had to fall back on shocks and scares to tell a story or even create a mood; even with the Science Fiction stuff aside, it's still his style and it works effectively across the board. 

3. The Bounty

You can compare it to the other film versions of this story but I don't think it matters - everything about this interpretation is exactly my speed: the music, the pace, the set design and costumes, and particularly the acting. I'll easily nominate this as Mel Gibson's best performance, but I'll take a deep breath and shut my eyes and say it's also Anthony Hopkins's best performance - both of them outacting Liam Neeson and Daniel Day-Lewis, no less. 

4. Romancing the Stone

Zemeckis's first blockbuster - and all without Spielberg's help(!) which is most surprising as it's mostly a lighter, cuter Indiana Jones. And funnier! And I think that's the biggest draw in this movie for me; I'm not impervious to the solid action sequences or the chemistry between Michael and Kathleen, but this easily works as the second best Comedy of the year. 

5. Blood Simple

As it's happened with several astounding films: after seeing Fargo I ventured back to discover (and rediscover) the rest of their filmography. Regardless (or because) of the two films' similarities I was even more taken with this extremely competent and confident freshman effort that could've appeared anywhere in their career and it would've still felt just as strong. Actual screen time be damned, I consider M. Emmett Walsh to be the lead, and we should treasure this movie just for that alone. 

6. Stop Making Sense

A Concert "Film" you say? Of which there are so few, at least many of any pertinence. It's one thing to capture a music concert with a handful of video cameras - that's an approach and it gets the job done - but to harness the energy of witnessing Rock Gods in the flesh and translate it into a tangible medium takes the finesse and enthusiasm of a band's mega fan -- i.e. Jonathan Demme + Talking Heads. It's not a Rock Opera or even a Documentary, but it feels like it has a story.

7. The NeverEnding Story

Whether it's sinking in The Swamps of Sadness or hiding in the attic of a public school, no other piece of art has ever so accurately captured the abstract wonder and terror of childhood (particularly growing up in the 1980s -- or maybe any time). That may be rooted in my own nostalgia and perhaps not everyone's kindertrauma was accompanied by a majestic Giorgio Moroder soundtrack, but every creature and event and emotion in this movie felt symbolic of trying to survive in a hostile and beautiful world. I could relate. 

8. Breakin'

All of the Dance Movies of the 1980s, even the breakdancing ones, took themselves way too seriously. Big surprise: this one does not. And that's not to minimize it in any way: it has romance, domestic strife, conflict, a villain, intentional comedy, ridiculously engrossing dance sequences, and a soundtrack that goes head-to-head with the best of the rest in this genre. It knows what's important and doesn't pretend to be anything more. 

9. The Natural

This was a time when Sports (particularly Baseball) could believably be depicted as Fantasy and I was raised on it like milk and Jesus. Baseball was very much in the air for all of my youth, but this movie really gave it the weight and grandeur of its supposed mysticism, as it's a not-too-subtle fairytale with a literal Hollywood ending. That's not to say it's ineffective; Randy Newman's music score alone is enough to make you believe that it's more than just a game (or a movie). 

10. Gremlins

Weirdly released into theaters the same day as Ghostbusters as they both epitomized the brazen genre-bending trend of "Children's Horror" that became synonymous with the time. I remember thinking it was scary, and it turns out I was right; the suspense and violence is not an accident but an intelligent and generous choice that precisely hit the mark on what kids find exciting. For me it lives in the shadow of its sequel, but of the two it's definitely more frightening. 

11. The Terminator

Speaking of wholly original films dwarfed by their follow-ups: I, like many I think, am a much bigger fan of the second one, but any time I revisit this one I'm reminded of how some of the strengths of Judgement Day were very much the backbone of the original - in particular the legitimate edge-of-your-seat tension, as well as the use of creatively gross violence that puts all the slashers to shame. 

12. Bachelor Party

One of the earliest movies I can remember - partly because it was on all the time. But even taking myself and its familiarity out of it, it still ranks Number One in its subgenre: the now-defunct Sex Comedy. It's nearly a parody of every other movie like it because of how many gags they packed into it, up to and including that very satire. 

13. A Nightmare on Elm Street

There had been supernatural villains before, but the whole stabbing method of massacre tied the entire tang of the decade together. And finally, someone with style, with motivation, with personality; nearly halfway through the 1980s but it's hard to imagine the period without Freddy. Johnny Depp's liquidation remains to be the most outrageous kill in the series, the genre, and maybe all Film.

14. Amadeus

I'll say it every time: Biopics are trash - particularly ones about celebrities (from any era). They typically just connect the dots with all the clichés and allow some anecdotes to masquerade as filmmaking. And then there's a movie like this that builds from the ground up with its own mood and interpretations and abstractions to the point that the bibliography is buried under a beautiful piece of art. 

15. Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo

But wait, there's more! Leave it to The Cannon Group to strike while the dance floor is hot. The first one was lighthearted, but this one is just ridiculous - that is, to say, dancing had a plot function the first time around whereas this movie is a full-blown Busby Berkeley musical that reads as a series of music videos strung together. Believe the hype. Believe in the beat. 

16. Body Double

Possibly the most DePalma that DePalma's ever been. No movie was safe from the fads and fashions of the moment, so this is easily the closest we'll ever get to 1980s Hitchcock. All derivative aspects aside, I always found Brian to be pretty silly, so this movie works extra for me as it weaponizes that silliness in a way that could only be intentional. 

17. Beverly Hills Cop

Once again, the power and potential of this eventual franchise was perfected in the second installment, making this one now feel sluggish and convoluted. Regardless, Eddie proved he could reel in the buffoonery just enough to be a Cool Action Star. And the chemistry between him and Judge Reinhold and John Ashton has become a screenwriting model at this point. 

18. Rhinestone

I will admit - assert even - that the personal appeal of this movie is its star power: I would watch Dolly Parton or Sylvester Stallone in just about anything. But put them together? Ohhh fuhgeddaboudit! On paper the story is very dumb (and so's the dialogue) but it does set them up, both of them, to sing throughout the movie. I enjoy it on levels I won't bother explaining because you won't understand. 

19. Paris, Texas

It's not a period piece, yet it's the least 1984 movie on this list. Partly because the emotions put forward are timeless, but more than that, the baffling richness of the cinematography feels like it's from some futuristic means of filmmaking. And similar to Blood Simple, it's a blessing to have someone like Harry Dean in a lead role. 

20. Rats: Night of Terror

Finally something post-apocalyptic to round out the year. I usually don't like these made-for-cheap, shot-in-abandoned-warehouses, band-of-survivors meanderings, but this one is so dark and dirty and gross that its setting is almost entirely believable. And its twist ending rivals nearly any Twilight Zone episode. 

BENNETT INVENTORY : Good Movie, Bad Ending

I love a good ending. I love surprises, punchlines, ambiguity, shock cuts, fadeouts, even neat & tidy old fashioned happy endings. From a distance there's no right or wrong, until we have to get dreadfully specific and make that eye-rolling declaration: it depends on the movie. Don't go hard for 100 minutes and then get all soft on me; movies earn their endings whether they like it or not and sometimes whether they mean to or not. It's a big responsibility but it's also a tremendous freedom - in my story writing experience I would often write just as an excuse to invent a provocative conclusion. But it's clear, in many movies, that the means were more urgent than the ends. 

A lot of these are your standard climax, some of them are the final moments before the credits, some are a painful bruise on the body of the movie, some are so forgettable that I can barely remember how everything turned out. In any case I'll leave it to you to agree or disagree - because that's a good ending. 

- Paul

*** S P O I L E R S   A H E A D***

The Fugitive (1993)

Maybe one of the most engrossing movies ever -- all the way up until Dr. Kimble confronts the architect of the whole frame-up, Dr. Nichols, and like Tommy Lee Jones I struggle to care. Harrison accuses him of "switching samples" in regards to whatever the overall motivation was but I never bother to remember any of that, and then he inexplicably follows the criminal mastermind into some backroom out of public view(!). Ultimately this is so Tommy Lee can be a part of the showdown which is all we wanted but it ends up being such a drag after the elaborate chase that was the entire film. 

The Thing (1982)

No, not the cryptic staredown between Kurt and Keith David - that's on the Best Endings list, so no surprise that it overshadows the formulaic Action Movie climax with the explosion and underground tunnels and the witty curse word remark. But the real troubling moment is the faltering monster FX that noticeably pale in comparison to the the dazzling achievement that is the rest of the movie leading up to it. Supposedly Team Bottin fell behind schedule with all the effort put into the other creations that it resulted in this immobile puppet that feels like an afterthought. 

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

The movie has many strengths and perhaps just as many weaknesses so there's a polite balance throughout. I'm not here to get into any of that, but I will say that the whole film could've come out ahead had Spielberg & co. given the audience a little more credit. Instead he leaves us with one of the worst expository speeches I've still ever heard as an animated alien lifeform (voiced by Ben Kingsley) tediously explains to David everything that we already know. I'm not complaining about the repetition but rather the crude disregard for even a remote chance of any abstraction. After I left the theater I went home and watched 2001 to get the taste out of my mouth. 

Trading Places (1983)

The story lands right where it's supposed to and right on time as the two lead characters reach the heights (and depths) of their respective class status. Then they join forces, which is also satisfying. Then they all board a train wearing silly disguises and talking with funny accents in a sequence that is comedically beneath a Benny Hill sketch. You'd think two SNL vets could make this work, but no; whatever tone the movie created had shifted into a silliness that feels like an entirely different movie. Furthermore, the second climax involving the commodities trading floor becomes literal white noise as the esoteric stock market stuff loses my interest entirely. 

Unbreakable (2000)

This one hurts. What an otherwise shockingly original and nearly perfect movie that had me surprised with every development, up to and including the surprise ending! I like M. Night - I like just about all the movies I've seen and I like the twists... to a point. Regardless of his impeccable storytelling strengths (as well as a creative eye) he truly has no faith in an audience's intelligence: he'll show us what's really going on, and then explicitly tell us, and then show us yet again. And in the odd case of Unbreakable, he employs title cards to tell us even more. Dreadful. 

Django Unchained (2012)

I'm sure this is hypercritical and won't get much support, but once Dr. King and Calvin get killed, I find I'm much less invested in any further outcome. Plot wise, yes, it's necessary for Django and Broomhilda to be reunited and the remainder of that journey (though sorta rushed) is entirely compelling, but not as satisfying as it should've been. The movie is so much more concerned with building the relationship between Django and Schultz that the actual objective always feels sorta incidental, so once he dies we have to force ourselves to become more invested in the very peripheral romance. 

M*A*S*H (1970)

To be fair there was no right or wrong way to end this movie - it has no narrative thread in a traditional sense, it's just a disjointed series of hijinks, and that's fine. Actually, that's great - it was Episodic Comedy before it was even televised. So for some ridiculous reason (regardless of the source novel) they decided to tack on some version of a "plot" in the form of an arbitrary football game to close out the film. It goes on for what feels like 20 minutes and it is a completely superfluous and disorienting bit of filmmaking that just about sinks the whole movie. 

Cast Away (2000)

How about this: when he comes back to civilization the world is run by intelligent apes. Seriously though I don't know how else it should've ended. No I didn't want him to die on the island and his rescue could've only ever had bittersweet consequences, but I think that's the point - or at least my point: the paint-by-number wrap-up kinda writes itself (in a boring way); everything else that was exciting or interesting was on that island and they did too good a job holding our attention with the survival element that they themselves became stranded in their own painted-in corner. 

1988: It was just too late to know

Childhood ends at different times in different ways for different people: tragedy, responsibility, sexuality, whatever shatters the safety and innocence of which we're rightly entitled during those first years. For me, it was the invasive yet subtle introduction of school - namely Kindergarten. It slipped in like a virus, asymptomatic at first but soon the effects began to take hold. Not that there was anything particularly bad or upsetting in chocolate milk and finger painting, but the realization slowly started to set in: I'm missing all my shows!

In a larger more fatalistic scope, I'd just entered into a steel cage of doom that would detain me until retirement or, more likely, death; daytime television had become a symbol of illness, Summer, or unemployment, and no one alerted me to this new reality prior to my blind compliance. Before September of '88 my schedule was largely dictated by Cable and it was a more engaging and informative classroom than I would ever encounter. The afternoon block of programming titled Nick Jr. debuted at the beginning of the year, mostly comprised of Asian and European cartoons like David the Gnome, Adventures of Little Koala, and Mysterious Cities of Gold. Added to their regularly scheduled lineup of stuff like Count Duckula and Mr. Wizard and it was a fully educational day covering all the major subjects. There were children's shows all over the dial like Jem and Zoobilee Zoo that I'd watch casually, but the bulk of them were of an already bygone era: Flintstones, Popeye, Mighty Mouse, Looney Tunes - even then these things were 20, 30, 40, 50 years old, and as I sit here now they're still around and popular and considered all part of a gold standard. 

Same thing with grownup shows; I spent some time with syndicated Scrabble and Win, Lose or Draw as well as Soap Operas like All My Children and One Life to Live. But again, this was the midday dumping ground for "Classic TV" like Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, The Monkees, Hazel, and every other pre-1970 Primetime program that limped its way into local broadcasting - not to die, mind you, but to become immortalized through me which strengthened me. Kindergarten extinguished this flame without mercy, and I became both stronger and dumber for it. I still had years ahead of me filled with baseball, bike riding, and Batman, but leisure time was now a luxury to be worked into my structured schedule. 

God bless the advent of Nick at Nite to keep me caught up in the continuing adventures of Ozzie, Harriet, et al. Though 1988 wasn't just about old TV for me. I'd received a bounty of ghost bustin' gadgets at the end of '87 so I'm sure I spent some amount of time neutronizing Sumerian gods while trying not to look directly into the trap. A life of adventure -- so much so that I began the year by cracking my skull open on the corner of an industrial dumpster in a sledding accident (a threat they didn't warn me of in the Juicy Fruit commercials). But that's part of the bigger idea: I played. I galavanted and cavorted. I shot lasers and slew vampires and stuck stickers and ate fluffernutters; my time of freedom leading up to my life sentence was not wasted, and was dedicated mainly (but not exclusively) to Dick Van Dyke, California Raisins, and severe head trauma. That's time well spent. 

I attended one theater visit, Roger Rabbit, the only real new movie I saw that year. But looking back now at what was in theaters back then, yippee ki-yay, motherfuckers! A few Box Office Blockbusters, but an otherwise bonafide bonanza of Cult cuisine and 80s pinnacles, all amounting to a cavalcade of choices so overwhelming that I had to scale back to present a nice round list number. The twit in me would describe the output as "colorful and inventive" but really the word for this year is "wacky."

Something like 20 sequels came out, and aside from a few clunkers (Caddyshack II, Arthur 2) they were mostly great (and mostly horror). Other than that, big splashy originals and fresh genre efforts are what 1988 was about, and ultimately became a lot of the defining pictures of not just my life, but also of Film History and Popular Culture as a whole. 

My son starts Kindergarten in September of this year but he's already been doing the Preschool thing for a while. Recently my sister asked him what he thought of it, and his response was "School is nonsense. I wanna be home with my family." Who's to blame for this defiant attitude that's clearly expanding and intensifying with each new generation? The declining quality of the classroom environment? A rigid framework forced into fragile developmental stages too early on? Or is it Dobie Gillis? Time will tell. 

- Paul

1. Midnight Run

I feel like I publish praise for this flick every few months. And why the fuck not? There may be a little nostalgia mixed into my adoration for this, the greatest Action Comedy of all time, but that doesn't minimize its greatness of all timeness. Everything about it feels so simple, yet it continuously unfolds and surprises in its story, its humor, its excitement, and even its drama.

2. Beetlejuice

Also not much left to be said about this extremely popular movie. I remember seeing the TV spots and thinking "this is definitely for me," but ironically could never remember the title. It wasn't until it made its way to Cinemax and I thought "this is it! This is that movie!" I was turned on by how bizarre it looked, and it's one of the few times I can remember a film surpassing the abstractions of its trailer; it was even more absurd than what they sold. 

3. Vibes

A small budget Romantic Comedy Adventure somewhere between Raiders and Romancing the Stone seems to be the perfect speed for me. But I'm intellectualizing - Jeff, Cyndi, and Peter Falk are like three of the most likable and watchable screen actors anyways so I defy anyone to not be entirely enchanted by this. 

4. Die Hard

It took me years to recognize that it didn't reinvent the Action Movie, but satirized it in such a bombastic way that it works as both a Comedy and a straightforward thrill ride. And a Christmas movie. 

5. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

If it had to have humor, if it had to have action, if it had to be rushed into production to meet the demand of this rapidly growing pop icon, then this truly was the best we could possibly get. Again, even more than Freddy's Dead, this is the parody of the fun and the dumbness of Elm Street and should be championed as such. 

6. A Fish Called Wanda

Leave it to a couple of Pythons to make the British Crime genre so silly. Though at the same time, it's refreshingly buttoned-down and accessible - both in its plot and its humor. Added to that, Jamie Lee and Kevin Kline are notable dramatic actors, and they carry the movie as the comic relief. 

7. Crocodile Dundee II

The first was a neatly packaged first act, and the only reason it required a sequel was because we wanted more. This installment is all about Mick's macho charisma and magic tricks that were the highlights of Part One, stretched out into the poignant 80s premise of taking down some Columbian drug lords. We didn't know we needed it until we got it. 

8. Flesheater

One of my most sacred "Halloween Season Mandatory Viewing" movies, primarily because of its weather accuracy. Seasonal setting aside, the cast has more depth than nearly any other 80s Slasher movie, and the culmination of score, gore, and suspense is on par with the best of Fulci. 

9. The Last Temptation of Christ

I consider this the dawn of Marty's most inventive era as a visual artist. It's one of the earliest examples I can think of where the subject matter of the movie was less of a draw than its actual moving parts; a true filmmaking achievement to capture my interest almost entirely through photographic storytelling. 

10. Big

The effect this movie has is still as relevant and unique as it was then. It's a hard kids' movie with a zany premise but it doesn't shy away from the terrifying reality it creates; adulthood is scary, but a supernatural overnight transformation that alienates you from your safe childhood is some fearless fiction.

11. Ghosthouse

One of the last great Italian Horror flicks of the decade (and Umberto Lenzi's career) mixes 80s Slasher tropes with a malevolent ghost, resulting in a bonkers, directionless plot that's most concerned with surreal imagery and gruesome kills set to a creepy score. Part of a dying breed. 

12. Who Framed Roger Rabbit

There seems to be a recurring formula around this time: fantastical ideas that capture the imagination, saturated in adult themes - violence, sexuality, fear, sadness. In other words a well-rounded movie that's not confined to the boundaries of genre or a target audience. I'm grateful to have been a kid when this came out. 

13. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!

To think the TV show on which this was based was cancelled for being too subtle. Admittedly I'm a fan of the subtleties of slapstick, sight gags, wordplay, fart sounds, and concrete dildos. 

14. The Blob

Glad we're all finally in agreeance that this is one of the best remakes of any film genre -- which is a backhanded way of saying it's just a great movie. Considering it's an FX heavy SciFi flick with a literal faceless blob as the villain, it's pretty remarkable how much suspense and good dialogue comes out of it. 

15. They Live

I caught it for the first time ever on Cable, right at the beginning of the fight scene, and soon thought "...is this it? Is this the whole movie?" And that forever set the tone for me - and rightly so, because it's the correct tone: a comedic satire played entirely straight. Strangelove for the 1980s? You'd better believe it, brother. 

16. Imagine: John Lennon

Extremely telling and also guarded and superficial - like the man himself. A complex life and soul in under 2 hours is gonna have some hiccups, but the depiction of his murder and the news footage sequence of grieving fans is a powerful ending to any kind of movie. 

17. License to Drive

Not a lotta Teen Comedy options this year, but this Ferris Bueller-meets-After Hours hybrid kinda transcends its subgenre, resulting in just a straightforward Comedy with shades of realism (who wouldn't risk their lives for a date with Heather Graham?).

18. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

My favorite of the franchise as it's the first time I found Jason to be cool. Ironically this is the first to feel most like an Elm Street movie which is probably also why I respond to it favorably. 

19. Daffy Duck's Quackbusters

During the periods it wasn't perpetually on HBO, it was my consolation video rental; when nothing else seemed good, I'd get this. And understandably so, it's practically a Looney Tunes Greatest Hits without commercial interruption - a true content binge before it became a way of life. 

20. Pulse

To this day I don't fully trust any of the machinery in my home, and it's not because of Poltergeist or 2001 or any of those - it's because of this. That's an effective Horror movie no doubt, but even without the carnage (but especially with it) it's yet another great kids' movie to come out of this year. 

21. Elvira: Mistress of the Dark

I'm always fascinated when a one-dimensional character suddenly finds themselves dealing with conflict and having emotions. (It worked for Pee-wee, didn't work for the Mario Bros.) To see her get off the couch and go on an adventure and sass the locals and dance naked in a Vegas musical is so much more than we deserved. 

22. Ernest Saves Christmas 

The fact that it features very little Ernest is solid proof that his longtime production crew knew how to craft a good movie without the bumbling hillbilly antics. Good for them, but even still, in his limited screentime Jim goes full force, busting out several of his "characters" and securing him amongst the ranks of Peter Sellers and Eddie Murphy. 

23. Critters 2: The Main Course

Also my favorite of this particular series, and I've gotten the most use out of it as an Easter movie (which also helped Last Temptation). B-side holidays aside, of all the Gremlins ripoffs over the years, this is the one that captures the excitement, humor, and inventiveness of its supposed source material. 

24. Dead Heat

Horror Comedy can be some pretty bad medicine. And to be fair, the clever and bizarre Horror outweighs the tepid and uncomfortable Comedy just enough to give it a sharp enough edge to become (wait for it) a great Action movie. 

25. Above the Law

I've seen it 40 times, I still don't know what the hell it's about. Don't care, it's still a sleek Crime Thriller from Andrew Davis (Fugitive, Under Siege) that introduced us to the whole Seagal genre (complete with the usual topnotch who's-who of supporting roles). 

26. Hellbound: Hellraiser II

As good as the first, which is my brand of highest praise here. The most honest and logical sequel since Godfather II - even with a new director; it answered questions, raised new mysteries, and actually managed to create even more grotesque sights to show us. 

27. Scrooged

I was initially bummed on it because it just wasn't funny enough. I still am a little. But it makes up for it in mood; it really does have a somber creepiness to it that is so accurately Dickensian, it works as Horror. And Bill's frantic monologue at the end is clearly Oscar worthy. 

28. Talk Radio

When Oliver Stone aims small he misses small. The fascination with the "shock jock" bled into so much Film and TV (and stage) that it just felt like a hallmark of Fiction. But this one has no chance of humor or redemption, it just spirals into darkness until it's pitch black. 

29. Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach

After 4 films I finally stumbled upon one that worked for me. And why does it suddenly work? Because it's broader and bolder and dumber than all its predecessors; this is when they stopped trying to be real movies in any traditional sense and just let the mayhem ensue. 

30. Not of This Earth

When I hear words and phrases like Drive-In, Exploitation, Roger Corman, Creature Feature, I imagine a specific kind of imagery, and all of it appears in this film. It's almost as if New Concorde and Jim Wynorski were entirely self aware and knew exactly how to make a great movie. 

1983 ...What A Feeling

An important year in pop culture, specifically because it was when I was born. I don't say that in a cutesy "god's gift to the world" way; were I not here, you wouldn't be reading this right now. Isn't that weird and cool? Point is, I was put on this earth to look at some shit (and probably a lotta other things I fucked up and/or missed out on) and it all started in February of this year of which I cannot remember.

I like to pretend I remember things from Year Zero. But maybe I was 1, or 2, who knows. Anyway that's not what this is about. I do know that this year was full of cultural significance that would eventually make an impact on me - either immediately, later on, or continually throughout my life. I'm always proud to note that the final episode of M*A*S*H aired the month I was born - as though it somehow linked me to a bygone era, dressing me in both wisdom and innocence. Truth is, Happy Days was still on the air. Dukes of Hazard had another 2 years. So did The Jeffersons. Fall Guy was still going strong. Richard Dawson was still hosting Family Feud. Turns out I'm as old as I actually am; stuff like Sesame Street and Scooby-Doo are not indicative of any era because they never went away, but more than that is that I come from the cusp of the "millennial" denomination - the scent of the 70s was still deep in the upholstery.

Top 40 music suggested otherwise; you can't get much more 1980s than "True" by Spandau Ballet or "The Politics of Dancing" by Re-Flex. The year introduced us to Madonna, Metallica, and Cyndi Lauper, while folks like Bowie, Elton, McCartney, and The Stones shifted their sound to mingle in the relevance of Music Television. It may've seemed like a vast variety at the time, but a 40 year distance will make Styx and Wang Chung that much more indistinguishable. And while I clearly wasn't conscious of it as an infant, I'm intellectually aware that it saturated my environment: my mother had albums by Men at Work and Culture Club, my father adored the lyrics to Nena's "99 Red Balloons," and my sister was into Air Supply and Journey. I'm certain there was a nonstop chaotic cliché of Greatest Hits of the 80s in the air.

I think it's fair to say I didn't see any new release movies this year, but like the music, HBO and VHS were full steam ahead at all times, so there was undoubtedly a healthy stream of Empire Strikes Back, Willy Wonka, Arthur, Pete's Dragon, Wizard of Oz, and whatever else videotape and pay TV expelled out into the space of our haunted apartment. Meanwhile, movies were being released into theaters that would find their way into my world - some later in life, some as soon as the following year. Some formative spectacles, a few big budget clunkers, and a lotta sordid cult items - some classics, some calamities, and not all to my liking, then or now. A bit of a tepid year in terms of qualitative quantity - especially compared to the monumental music output; Stephen King was thriving, Jaws was dying, and Barbara Streisand was the cutest Yeshiva Boy you ever saw. It was a bit of a flat soda as far as my taste goes, but per usual, holding them up against the content output of today, '83 was largely standout Motion Picture achievements with a few of the greatest films ever made thrown in. It's been exhausting maintaining some sort of "progressive" approach for however many years now, passively accepting whatever new "direction" movies seem to take. But This Is 40, and I resolve to be less shy and less polite about the recycled gunk of contemporary media vs. "the good old days"; there was a lotta broad expensive garbage and trivial lowbrow shame released in the Big 80s (and every other decade to varying degrees), but the ratio of innovation, experimentation, and risk was still much greater. Creative artists with original ideas were still getting studio pictures off the ground, largely unscathed, which in and of itself was progressing popular culture, rather than sucking the fumes of "the good old days." I'm old-fashioned like that; a conservative for a time when things moved forward, not scraping the guardrails alongside the highway to mediocrity. 

But I'm hard to please - the new century has taught me that. And so I had a tough time making love outta nothing at all (sorry) and was no way in hell gonna inflate this into a Top 40. So I did a traditional (and no doubt predictable) Top 20 of 40 year old movies - some have aged better than I, some have not, I adore them all.

The Best Will Be First.

- Paul

1. The Right Stuff

Not the first movie I saw or even the first movie I liked, but it's My First Movie. In the most obvious, superficial way, it sparked an obsession in me with the Space Program - not necessarily in terms of science, heroism, or interplanetary curiosity, but through the weird psychedelic moodiness the film falls into for nearly every set piece throughout. Combine that with inventive special effects and a bombastic Bill Conti score and it creates that kinda 2001 atmosphere that's mesmerizing to anyone of any age. Still though, to a toddler: Rocketship! 

2. Easy Money

This lowbrow premise coulda been a real disaster, but it wasn't. Like any comedian with a unique style, it works like butter when a script & story caters to them, and so we end up with a full-blown "Rodney Dangerfield vehicle" that matches both the content and delivery of his material. And you know what? Pesci & Dangerfield > Pesci & De Niro. 

3. The King of Comedy

But Bobby & Jerry? Fuhgeddaboudit. The chemistry between De Niro and Sandra Bernhard is really good too and I wish there were more of it. I remember what a huge deal it was when Analyze This came out and everyone was like "omg! De Niro is funny!" And I thought "well I'll let Midnight Run slide, but c'mon man." I wish Marty would make more movies like this, I wish anyone would make more movies like this - Joker notwithstanding. 

4. Twilight Zone: The Movie

Spent my whole life struggling to warm up to the Spielberg segment. Not really there yet, which is a shame because it's otherwise one of the greatest big budget Horror flicks of the 80s, ahead of The Fly and, ironically, Poltergeist. No matter - controversy aside, it's my favorite thing Landis and Miller (and God help me, maybe even Joe Dante) have ever done.

5. A Christmas Story

Roger Ebert noted, "...people don't often go to movies with specific holiday themes." Too true in the decades before the Cult of Hallmark, and so 1983 gifted us the ultimate sleeper hit, left wrapped in the corner, only to be discovered after the hoopla had died down. 

6. STAR WARS - Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

I've published big, contemplative prose regarding the weights and measures of this monumental resolution to the most lucrative and culturally significant film franchise that had ever been (at the time). But really, it's just about Bib Fortuna, Leia's bikini, Luke's green lightsaber, The Emperor's Royal Guards, and Vader's unmasking, because that's how STAR WARS works, kid. 

7. Bloodbeat

I don't like labeling a movie as "weird," but when I do it's something special. One of my favorite home video discoveries of the past ten years, this slasher/ghost/possession/samurai fable is evidently beyond definition and just beyond comprehension. And it's a Christmas movie!

8. Trading Places

The second entry in the Mount Rushmore of "1980s Eddie" and probably his best Straight Comedy. Not to ignore the other performances in the film, but it's such a quotable movie and any time I reach for a line it's one of his. And that kinda thing happens to me every week!

9. National Lampoon's Vacation

Always dwarfed by the graceful subtleties of its Christmas sequel, it's still strong enough as a Summertime counterpart. Having said that, Clark's final act profanity-laden meltdown in the car is the finest writing to come out of this year. 

10. A Blade in the Dark

Even a weak Giallo picture is likely to have some striking visuals and good music, both of which this movie has enough to spare. But few others manage to be this thrilling or weird or aware of itself - and that's saying something I think.

11. Scarface

It was never entirely what I needed it to be - but that was just a byproduct of the hype I think. I wanted more broad, more garish, more violent - every element for which it was demonized. Instead I settled into the subtleties (and soundtrack) which is where the vibe truly lies. 

12. Videodrome

One of the most fun scripts of the year fer sure; if anything, David's sense of Science Fiction is the closest to what I'd like it to be. And for all its big ideas and effects wizardry, I still struggle to find any kind of vibe.

13. Bill Cosby: Himself

Well this is awkward. I never watched his sitcom or kids' shows; after Mother, Jugs, and Speed I knew him from this (and probably Jell-O) and thought it was just hysterical - his bit about the dentist always thwarts the tension of all my office visits. I've not seen this since the unpleasantness, and so I continue to let my memories live in a separate room. 

14. Christine

Carpenter gets ghosts, and he spins a good yarn - even if it's not his own original yarn; he takes it upon himself to disregard an origin story, and in true Michael Myers style, the car is simply evil - which works for me so much more as ghost in the machine than a masked man. 

15. The Hunger

Tony Scott is at his best in the Action/Crime genre and he clearly knew that. But he knew Thriller, he knew Erotic, he knew mood, and those best elements of his later blockbusters are basically the only elements that make up this contemporary gothic tale, with heavy emphasis on both "contemporary" and "gothic."

16. The Dead Zone

As far as the movie versions go, there's some superficial parallels to The Shining: eccentric actor plays eccentric character who's confronted with grim scenarios from a different time. And while there's so much more to consider, that formula seems to be really effective for me. 

17. Nightmares

As uneven as any Anthology Horror, but just as competent as some of the best - mostly. If it ever feels cheap or low-key, that's because it was supposedly a two hour pilot that was deemed too scary for TV. Had it been as such it would've blown Tales From the Darkside outta the woods.

18. Sledgehammer

"Shot-on-Video" comes with a lotta baggage, and it takes legitimate talent to make these in a competent way and hopefully add a little extra. Low budget auteur David A. Prior does exactly that and manages to make a mind-bender of a movie that's more effective and efficient than most other Slasher flicks - of this time or any.

19. D.C. Cab

Something I'm noticing here: this year is a very stream-of-consciousness lineup; movies that have an abstract approach to traditional structure. This movie has a "plot" but it's boring af - you watch it for Busey, for Mr. T, For Charlie Barnett, for Irene Cara. The "hangout" movie of '83.

20. Zelig

Not the first Mockumentary, but perhaps the first feature length attempt at the refined silliness with which we've become accustomed to associate it. I've mentioned "High Concept Woody" in the past - it's tricky business, and always wears extremely thin by the final act. It's excusable here, as long as it's true to the life of Leonard Zelig.