STATIC SHOTS

STATIC SHOTS

STATIC SHOTS

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

WEIRD STUFF :: The Making of SUPERNOVA (2000)

It's been almost two years since my last WEIRD STUFF entry -- I guess things have just been too normal around here. But there's something that's been on my mind for a while now - actually since late 2024, around the time Megalopolis began its limited theatrical run on limited screens and everyone began to revisit (and sometimes reevaluate) Francis Ford Coppola's filmography. I admit I took a glance at the master filmmaker's lineup; intellectually I already knew where the strong points were as well as the weaker areas (at least by my measure) and so I sorta shamelessly (but privately) tried to weigh his worth with movies of his I liked vs. movies I didn't. And in scrolling through his resume I found something of an anomaly - at least to me. 

When I bring you "weird stuff", sometimes it's personal information that you otherwise wouldn't have known. And sometimes it's information that's already public record but is entirely new to me... Like the fact that the 2000 Science Fiction farce Supernova is credited with three different directors: Walter Hill, Jack Sholder, and Francis Ford Coppola. 

If you're already aware of this, sorry to hit you with old news, but you could've alerted me to this bizarre factoid and all its sordid details. The script was reworked and built up and torn down and molested by a parade of screenwriters before it ended up in the hands of a reluctant Jack Sholder, who was immediately replaced by Walter Hill at the insistence of star James Spader. Hill shot the entire movie and previewed a final cut (minus FX shots) to a test audience - who hated it. Based on that, MGM then rehired Jack Sholder to do the whole reshoot and recut thing, which included adding new scenes, cutting old scenes, and replacing the music score entirely. 

By the time Sholder's polish was complete, MGM was under new management, and the new bosses didn't like Sholder's version either and so they pleaded with Walter Hill to return. Hill told them he'd need $5 million to make enough changes to salvage the film, and so they declined. Instead, they brought on Francis Ford Coppola who required only $1 million to perform yet another re-edit -- one that would include a truly bizarre and ambitious change to the movie, but ultimately made no difference whatsoever. It's tough to determine who had the idea or why it needed attention, but this final edit took an existing sex scene between Peter Facinelli and Robin Tunney and CGI'd it into a sex scene between James Spader and Angela Bassett - digitally swapping out the actors' faces and, of course, skin color. 

Honestly the only reason I ever took a mild interest in this movie was the potential possibility of an exposed Robin Tunney - which, in fact, there is, both in and out of the guise of Ms. Bassett. But that doesn't save the film. Its stellar cast, which also includes Lou Diamond Phillips and Robert Forster, can't even generate enough magic to make it excusable; if anything it makes it that much more embarrassing. I'm being more than fair by pointing out that I'm not really into this genre or subject matter even when it's at its best, but I'm perceptive enough to look past the silly spaceship premise and recognize it as the truly bad movie it is; not even really "so bad it's funny" but more like "so bad it's sad". 

The final directing credit landed on Walter Hill, under the pseudonym of Thomas Lee. And it was partly because of that pseudonym that I never gave the movie much more thought beyond the goofy garbage that it is, but now with all this added context and perspective I can't help but be a little curious to revisit it, and see if I can't recognize any shades of Freddy's Revenge, Southern Comfort, or The Conversation. Maybe if I reset my standards to be as high as possible then I can prompt some sorta physiological rush as my expectations plummet back to Earth. 

- Paul

12 (mostly) Loyal Pets

This isn't a Lassie or Willard situation. There'll be no Yearlings or friends named Flicka. These creatures didn't crave the spotlight and their relevance in the dynamics to the story ranged from fleeting to peripheral. But then they had their moment they made it all about them, and so today we show our respect to these supporting players of the Animal Kingdom. 

- Paul

Max

How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Like the Whos, Max was always on the side of good, and he was the only one to witness The Grinch's transformation. Like everything else in the 1966 animated special, the marriage of Dr. Seuss and Chuck Jones was a union forged in the starts, but the best of both worlds was most prominent in Max: he was pure Looney Tunes but without the cynicism. 

Artie

Saved by the Bell

Artie is Slater's pet chameleon. Screech and Zack babysit Artie while Slater's away for the weekend. Zack predictably kills Artie due to negligence. Because Slater had spent most of his life moving around and changing schools, Artie was the only friend he could hang onto. Perhaps his death was existentially necessary to illustrate that his Bayside friends will ultimately be his "Friends Forever". That's tough love but there was a lotta that on this show. 

Basil

A Clockwork Orange

For a young, sadistic sociopath, Alex sure had a soft spot for that snake (who clearly died under mysterious circumstances). Funny story that you've probably already heard: supposedly Kubrick got the idea to include a pet snake (which wasn't mentioned in the book) when he learned of Malcolm McDowell's phobia of them. 

Precious

The Silence of the Lambs

Real name Darla, also famously worked with John Landis, Joe Dante, and Tim Burton. But her biggest and arguably her most integral part to a plot played out here - she was used as a negotiating tactic which ultimately went nowhere, but her fate most likely involves apartment life with Catherine and her cat. 

Wildfire

Song by Michael Murphey

Here's some mellow and manipulative Adult Contemporary for you; this chart-topper from 1975 tells the story of a young lady who dies in a blizzard when she was separated from her horse, Wildfire (the horse also presumed dead). A notorious tearjerker to all the prepubescent horse girls of the mid 1970s, but as a middle-aged man in the mid 2020s I can tell you that when that chorus hits it still hits hard. 

Elvis

Miami Vice

You'd think having an alligator as a cast member would guarantee some eventual carnage, but no. Elvis knew how to act threatening but was really nothing more than a slob who was only ever one step away from sporting sunglasses and a tropical shirt. He definitely brought some lightheartedness to the vibe and was a necessary ingredient in making it the most 1980s TV that there ever was. 

Gil

What About Bob? 

I'm not sure what the symbolism was but it wasn't subtle; a "fish outta water" story maybe? At any rate a lotta emphasis is put on Gil, up to and including being a prominent part of the opening title sequence, ultimately making him the sorta mascot of the movie. 

Khartoum

The Godfather

Some symbolism is less subtle - this message was loud and clear. It's tough to determine if Jack Woltz actually cared for this horse as a pet or just as a financial asset, but I guess it doesn't matter - in either case Khartoum was doomed to pay the ultimate price. Not personal, strictly business. 

Big Al

Beverly Hills Cop II

How do you make a turtle interesting without martial arts training or pizza? Saturate it in the cool neon ambience of a Tony Scott movie. Big Al's only real function was to provide vicarious character development, so all we really learn about him is that he definitely has a sweet life surrounded by ample plant life, and that he definitely knows where his own dick is located. 

Dart

Stranger Things

The "secret pet" is such a nostalgic trope (that's obviously the point) but the twist here is that the pet does not repress its animalistic instincts to bite people's heads off. And thank god for that - the last thing this series needed was a CG slug wrestling with morality like a STAR WARS villain. 

Dicky

The Beyond

Maybe the only instance I can think of when a dog successfully chases away zombies to protect its owner. Unfortunately we're in Fulci Land so naturally Dicky decides to turn on said owner and graphically devour her. 

Tina

Napoleon Dynamite

Really I just like llamas. Like, a lot. But equally, Tina is one of the few characters in the story who isn't a complete jerk; they suggest that she's grumpy or impatient but clearly they're just projecting. 

STATIC SHOTS

1974: Momentarily out of action, temporarily out of gas

Now we're in the thick of it. Long hot days, cool sea haze. Back in the bad old days. Let's set the superficial scene with notable events: Stephen King released his first book, Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth's home run record, Ronnie DeFeo killed his family in Amityville, Nixon resigned, Ali defeated Foreman, the oil crisis ended in all OPEC Nations, and Europe continued to blow itself up. Pick an occasion and celebrate, it just turned 50 years old. 

Not everything lends itself so easily to a theme party and so we don't use every color when we illustrate these reminiscences; fluctuating government in the Republic of Cyprus may hold some importance but is it immediately indicative of 1974? Where's the smell, the taste, the touch? This is the furthest back I've gone with an anniversary essay and with greater distance the mood of a moment becomes most sharply defined by its art. I've said this with every year I've explored: the commercial media of any given time may make us nostalgic for that time... but what if we weren't there the first time? More than history books we have to trust that Pop Culture is an accurate reflection of its age - the more dated, the greater the accomplishment. 

It's hard to emphasize how eclectic the popular music was; Elton John, Kool & the Gang, Barbra Streisand, Jackson 5, Grand Funk, ABBA, Deep Purple, and The Carpenters are entirely dissimilar from one another but they all managed to sound like '74. This was also the first time we heard KISS, Donna Summer, Kansas, and KC & The Sunshine Band, guaranteeing the rest of the decade to be even more diverse. Though I'm not sure we could get as intellectual about TV: All in the Family, M*A*S*H, Kojak, Mary Tyler Moore, and of course The NBC Mystery Movie were predictably and deservedly amongst the most-watched programs. But I will say that, maybe even more than music or movies, television consistently provides the most vivd depiction of any given generation; whether it takes place during the Korean War, Depression Era Virginia, contemporary Queens NY, or on a stage with Sonny Bono and Cher, we get the least compromised sense of fashion, values, and humor from the boob tube. So if it aired in 1974, that's the closest you can get to time travel. 

Who started this conversation anyway? I can't set an entire mood for you by listing a few Top 40 music artists and primetime network TV shows - though if you choose to go out and do the work yourself then your reward awaits you. As usual, these paragraphs are prologue to the point, and it's a major one this time. The popular opinion is that the 1970s still stands tall as the greatest decade for movies, and while the scholars can explain why again and again, the rest of us simple fools need only stand back and observe the varied tapestry that was this specific era of filmmaking. Personally I don't know what the metric is for ranking a stretch of otherwise unrelated movies; my approach is just determining how many of my own favorites fall into which periods of time and then I can sorta begin to play along. But I do know that looking at each year between 1970 and 1979 I've found that every 12-month period was an exciting and essential entry into the history of Cinema. And 1974 is no slouch. 

Westerns were still on the radar - many of them were switching out wagon chases for car chases, but the structure was still there. But even more than that, the spirit of every genre had shifted entirely: the age of the Hero was dead; now was the time of the Anti-Hero. Goofy disaster movies where tough guys would ride in and save the day were still appealing to older crowds but mostly played for laughs to those who were ready for flawed characters and harsh realism, and perhaps "escapism" wasn't the sexiest emotion art had to offer. There was shock and awe beyond the spectacle of special effects. Anger and rebellion, frustration and disgust, fascination and terror. Actual sexiness. Mystery and wonder. Ambiguity. Exploring and understanding different cultures. These movies were providing a lot thematically and the bravery of producing them and releasing them into the mainstream was admirable, but the talent and innovation that was evidenced in the craftsmanship is consistently the most notable part; subject matter aside, movies never looked like this before. The creativity was turned up on every level of the process, and that makes this decade and this year remarkable and perhaps preeminent. Could we ever reach these heights again? Will courage and originality someday prevail? If I could only live to see it, to be there with you...

- Paul

1. The Conversation

You ever get the sense that a movie was made specifically for you? It may be wildly popular and held in high regard, but it's clear that they had you (or someone like you) in mind as their target audience. Gene's Harry Caul is most likely my favorite movie character, and it's certainly my favorite Coppola film, but its most attractive attribute is its mood; the simplicity of its structure and pace and scope and score just magnifies the complexity of its characters and compositions and cinematography. To this day I still let out a sigh of amazement when the end credits come on.

2. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

Speaking of flabbergasting credit rolls... I'd seen many a Monster Movie before I got around to this one, and so this was a sobering reminder as to what most of the others are missing: legitimate scares. One of the goriest movies with hardly any blood, one of the most atmospheric movies with hardly any artificial lighting, one of the most articulate cinematic visions with hardly any budget. Who needs money when you got talent? 

3. Chinatown

Period Pictures are marvelous when they're done right; beyond just hair and wardrobe, every audio/visual element needs to reflect the time in a way that doesn't fall into cliché or parody. I can barely follow what this movie is about and I certainly don't understand what the contemporary metaphor was, but I watch it over and over again because it so expertly creates a world in which I enjoy experiencing. 

4. Thunderbolt and Lightfoot

The best Buddy/Car/Crime picture of 1974 - which is a serious claim but I stand by it. The Southwestern landscapes and honky-tonk score are like burgers and fries to me, but like the best of this brand the real driving force is the chemistry - and it makes it that much more engrossing that we get to be there at the very beginning of the relationship and then watch it progress all the way to the bittersweet end. 

5. Young Frankenstein

The comedy works best because it's taken seriously; like Chinatown the aesthetic is so spot-on that we'll gladly accept whatever nonsense comes our way. Unlike Chinatown it gleefully abuses our trust and familiarity with the genre - not by satirizing it, but using it as a foundation for silliness the likes of which we'd never seen. 

6. Freebie and The Bean

In the gritty 70s even slapstick turned into car crashes and bullets. I can't say it's the first Buddy Cop Comedy but it set the tone for how they would be from then on: the violence and the premise was only to be taken as seriously as the dialogue, and in the case of Arkin and Caan, it's brutally ridiculous. 

7. Busting

Blake and Gould, on the other hand, aren't fucking around. They may crack wise throughout but this is solid Peter Hyams Action, complete with questionable tactics and skillful sleuthing. More in the vein of French Connection but having Allen Garfield as the main heavy lets us know we can loosen up a bit.

8. The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue

In the time between the American and the Italian, there were the Spanish zombies, and in hindsight they were sometimes superior - particularly this triumph directed by Jorge Grau. My strongest sentiment is that, if you've ever wanted a Zombie flick with an engrossing story and interesting living characters, this may be the best. 

9. The Godfather Part II

I never thought it was even remotely as good as the first (though that's a tricky act to follow). I still find the Michael thread sorta tedious and convoluted, while the Vito stuff is the true standout. Though in the end I'm able to admit that the skillful balance between the two are why the whole thing works so well.

10. The Taking of Pelham One Two Three

There's such an immense joy in watching plans unfold, steps followed, procedures laid out - and this movie allows us into everyone's occupation: good, bad, or indifferent. The surroundings are also impressively palpable: the smoke and sweat and grease of this intimate municipal brouhaha linger on your senses for the duration. 

11. The Sugarland Express

Most people don't typically include Spielberg on the list of directors who got their start in Exploitation, and those people probably have problems with this movie (and Duel for that matter); despite the noble intentions of its protagonists, it's lite on the Spielbergian schmaltz and emotional depth and instead comes across as a superficial Actioner. In other words it's pretty great. 

12. Beyond the Door

Sometimes the store brand is better than nothing at all. It'd been nearly a whole six months since we had a demonic possession movie, and this mostly-confused but sometimes-creepy Italian knockoff has enough vibes and vulgarity to fill the void. If anything gives it the edge, its funk-disco score gives "Tubular Bells" a run for its money. 

13. Foxy Brown

The nonpartisan pinnacle of Jack Hill, Pam Grier, and Blaxploitation; while not my personal favorite under any of those columns, it embodies all the best traits of the genre, and the pride and confidence of its creators is infectious. 

14. Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry

There are knockoffs, and then there's cookie-cutter. Sure we've seen it before, but have we seen it with Susan George wearing a denim bralette while riding in a citron yella '69 Dodge Charger? I think not!

15. Blazing Saddles

If the Western was evolving then this is what we thought of the traditional approach (which was largely accurate). Intentional or not, the genre-bending climax always feels tacked on and overblown to me, but all the bits and sketches and small servings of satire leading up to it still hit the mark. 

16. Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore

While the decade gave us plenty of characters who were broken souls and mixed bags, it so often digressed into an orgy of action and violence. Here was a character study that was, by definition, simply that and not much else - helmed by a director anxious to prove he could pull off such a feat. 

17. The Teacher

I'm sure I could intellectualize this ultra low budget Sexploitation flick but that would be missing the point; this movie is shamelessly hot and never attempts to disguise it or apologize for it. The always-sinister Anthony James single-handedly elevates this to Erotic Thriller.

18. Lenny

As a Biopic it's pretty routine; at no point am I not aware that I'm watching Dustin Hoffman hurtling through a courageous acting jag. But if you combine that with flawless editing and cinematography then there's really not much to complain about. 

19. Bring Me The Head of Alfredo Garcia

In a world of bad guys, the hero is the one who stays alive till the credits. This is another one that has an excessively tangible atmosphere; it's so hot and painful and putrid that it's abhorrent in a way that only Peckinpah could pull off. 

20. The Towering Inferno

While Charlton Heston was off fighting airplanes and earthquakes, Newman and McQueen battled the burning building, and they did it in style. Even more exciting and manipulative than 1972's Poseidon Adventure, producer Irwin Allen created playgrounds for A-listers to slum it and movie theaters to sling it, and we all got drunk on the peril and the popcorn.

STATIC SHOTS

1974