13 BIG HEADS!

Yes, we've heard your cries and pleas for a brief but comprehensive list of oversized noggins found in popular culture. Today those pleas shall be silenced as I present to you exactly that. You're welcome. 

- Paul

The Metalunans

This Island Earth

Don't mention his head... The Mutant gets all the glory, but it's hard to ignore the obvious malformations of Exeter, Brack, and the rest. It's meant to indicate their superior intellect, but in the end, 1950s science stuff isn't enough to save their species. 

"The Foot Soldiers Are Revolting"

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

In this Season 4 episode, Shredder uses a brain-enhancing machine on one of his robot foot soldiers, thus creating a Skynet/HAL 9000 situation wherein the super smart robot leads a rebellion against its creators. How that results in a bigger head is unclear, but it definitely looks cool. 

Giant novelty head

Pee-wee's Big Adventure

I use any opportunity I get to revisit Mario's Magic Shop. The scene barely runs 2 minutes but they pack a lot in, including the limited variety of fake heads for sale: shrunken, "regular size", and this massive monstrosity that manages to overwhelm Pee-wee. 

The Easter Island Kid

The Critic

Jay's son Marty goes to school with a kid from Easter Island and he has a big stone head that resembles the statues for which the island is best known. He struggles to maintain balance under the weight of it, often falling over. That's this character's entire plot function, which fits nicely into the tone of this series. 

The Wizard of Oz

The Wizard of Oz

In reality, a mere "humbug" from Nebraska, but to his groveling subjects, a giant translucent green face surrounded by smoke and flames. In the book, only Dorothy can see him in this form, but obviously this was the biggest, loudest, most theatrical choice for his big screen depiction. 

Myron Stackpoole

Head of the Family

What list of deformities is complete without a little Full Moon madness? Myron isn't just a head (he has arms so presumably some kinda torso) but his body is mostly head (because he has super psychic powers), and through some split screen and forced perspective stuff, it's made clear that it's comically oversized. 

Littleface

Dick Tracy

Speaking of forced perspective... So here's the thing: Littleface doesn't have a big head, he has a little face. Not a knock against the movie's award winning makeup effects, but no one ever saw this and didn't describe him as "the guy with the big head." Frankly, it makes him that much more sinister and imposing than the intended "guy with a little face."

Vigo

Ghostbusters II

There's a stack of stuff I don't like about this movie, but it had an outstanding main baddie. In the film's climax, the already imposing Carpathian is sorta inexplicably reduced down to his huge melon, left only to growl and roar. My son has experienced The Shining, The Thing, Halloween, An American Werewolf in London, and It with nothing but gusto and joy, but he can't handle Big Head Vigo. 

The Beast

Poltergeist

My son also enjoyed this (though no one's immune to that face tearing bit). This movie has a lot of Final Bosses, but a lot of the threats manifest as flashing lights and possessed objects -- this is the first real Monster we see and it comes as a big surprise. Really big. 

Score All Star Baseball Cards

In 1991, Score created a "subset" of 20 special insert cards that could be found in random packs, each depicting illustrated caricatures of the best players of that season. The "exaggerated head" caricature style wasn't anything new, but it seemed awfully popular around this time, especially with Sports for some reason - which is why I can't hear "big heads" without remembering these. 

"And Maggie Makes Three"

The Simpsons

In an overly dramatized flashback described by Homer, he recalls the moment he learned Marge was pregnant with Maggie, which apparently embiggens his head like a balloon, then bursts. The popping is the punchline, but in the second before that we get this hilarious frame. 

"The Andrea Doria"

Seinfeld

Upon breaking up with him, Elaine's boyfriend's parting words are that her head is too big for her body. An otherwise harmless and baseless observation said out of spite, but the comment gnaws at her until she becomes fully convinced of this supposed deformity, believing herself to be a "walkin' candy apple". It's ridiculous, but there's mounting physical evidence throughout the episode to support her fears. 

William

So I Married an Axe Murderer

Better known as "Heed!", which is just "head" in an exaggerated Scottish accent. Actually, this character's entire purpose is to be a catalyst for Mike Myers's creative insults regarding his gargantuan cranium: "That boy's head's like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts!" 

STATIC SHOTS

1975

STATIC SHOTS

Easter 2025

Top 10 Times The Dog Died

Supposedly tests audiences determined a long time ago that you can't kill the dog; regardless of the quality of the film, simulated animal cruelty will get you a bad grade. And yet, as I sit here, every canine I can think of bit the dust; when I thought of this topic I immediately came up with like 30 instances, to the point I had to make a master list that required critical thinking so that I could begin whittling down. I guess that makes the point that despite how well we remember these movies, we never forget when the dog dies. That sorta makes them iconic in a way; I don't know about you, but when they make a point to let us know that the dog lives it feels like a bit of a pussy move. And pussy has no place on this list. 

- Paul

The Thing

This movie tops a lotta lists in a lotta categories, but it's pretty indisputable under this heading. Even though it's the least realistic in terms of context, it's so graphic and the real dogs are such good actors that it feels the most realistic. 

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

Part One served up cows and goats and it unnerved us greatly. Leave it to Steven to make us watch the family pet get eaten whole by a T Rex. (Even Pippet's death was off camera.) It's the only cool part of this movie. 

No Country For Old Men

One of the most suspenseful moments in a film made up entirely of suspenseful moments. Between this and American Gangster Josh Brolin was officially Dog Killer '07. 

Ginger Snaps

A truly effective opening for a Horror Movie and I'm sure it read beautifully on the page, but it's one of the more upsetting entries here mostly for the genuine reaction the kid has to this screaming actress. 

I Am Legend

I don't remember too much about this movie, but I do remember this moment; not so much for the emotional impact but for Will's strong performance and the brilliant approach of leaving the camera on him to capture that performance. 

A Fish Called Wanda

When once isn't enough you can make it an ongoing gag throughout an entire film. When I was little it took a lotta courage and understanding to accept that this was meant to be funny.

To Kill a Mockingbird

Another one from when I was very young and had to understand that theriocide could actually sometimes be necessary(?). In any event, it's amazing the way movies can shape and inform our values early on - usually for the better. 

Signs

What's more shocking: a child forced to kill their own pet, or our own imagination of what the aliens did to the other one. For the first time, M. Night lets the audience decide something on their own. 

Manos: The Hands of Fate

To the best of my knowledge, Peppy is the only character that gets killed in this movie, proving that Hal Warren truly understood the effective tropes of Horror Cinema. 

Turner and Hooch

The Old Yeller of my generation (discounting the equine expiration of Neverending Story) and a true shock at the time for the partner to die in a Buddy Cop Picture. Everyone sighted Big as Tom's big flex of range, but this one felt like a greater balance of funny and sad to me. 

Surprise Supporting Characters That Make Good Movies Even Better!

Everyone has their favorite side characters. Some folks, like myself, gravitate towards them to the point that they become more exciting than the leads. But this list is not a list of them. These are characters we didn't even know we needed until they showed up somewhere around the halfway mark in what seemed to be an otherwise competent motion picture. Some rolled in with a specific plot function, some were crucial to the resolution, some were wild detours that nearly defined the movie. It's a bit of an abstract concept but stay with me.

- Paul

Cousin Eddie

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

The movie had already been plenty funny up to the point of his arrival, that wasn't really in question. But the real triumph here is that the momentum of the plot (not that there really is one) had reached a crescendo as the house lights began functioning, and for about a minute everything in the story had been resolved, and Eddie and his family begin the second act on the spot, creating a new (though ridiculously trivial) dynamic to the ensemble. 

The Brain Gremlin

Gremlins 2: The New Batch

In the first movie we get to see them play cards and shoot guns and eat things, and that was the basis of their personality. Cut to the sprawling spectrum of character traits in this sequel that are apparent even before they become genetic supervillains. And then beyond the mayhem and destruction, we get a literal antagonist - a leader to the creatures and even more of a Final Boss than Mohawk - and suddenly we have actual quotable Gremlin lines (to be mimicked with perfect Felix Unger inflection). 

The Cenobites

Hellraiser

Sure we all love them, but were they truly integral to this initial setup? If they didn't look so damn cool I'd vote 'nah'. It's hard to approach this movie with fresh eyes -- even when it was fresh these bondage demons became the movie's biggest marketing tool. So imagine, for a moment, going blindly into this film and becoming engrossed in the story with its heroes and other monsters, and suddenly these motherfuckers show up in an ominous fury of wind and lightning and exposition. Their brief shadowy reveal at the very beginning was a total mistake. 

Harlan and Marlon

I Love You to Death

Every shade of this movie is dark and it casually balances moments of lighthearted silliness and poignant melancholy, and amongst the heartbreak and various murder attempts it maintains its superior Comedy status. Then we literally hire two new characters to enhance the nucleus: in reality, a pair of drug addicts who're paid to kill someone, and William Hurt and Keanu Reeves play them like Cheech & Chong, and so the balancing act becomes that much more impressive. 

The Emperor

STAR WARS Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

We become aware of his existence in Empire, but for as ominous as that was it proved largely inconsequential. And then somehow, Palpatine returned. Darth Vader had become the culturally iconic villain, but apparently the conflict between he and Luke involved an added Third Party, and suddenly STAR WARS became something new; it had a decrepit warlock who could shoot lightning from his hands. 

Mike Pipper

The Final Sacrifice

In the structure of the actual movie, this grizzled hermit eventually shows up to provide the exposition - a common character assignment, nothing special. But through the lens of Mystery Science Theater he has the same effect as the Cousin Eddie approach: the movie was already adequately ridiculous and Troy and Rowsdower provide ample entertainment, so who knew we needed the add-on of this rootin' tootin' cartoon character. 

George Hanson

Easy Rider

You know. The "Nicholson Bike Movie"? To those who don't have a deep lust for this movie like I and others do, it's easy to forget that Jack is merely a detour in this odyssey, but a memorable and necessary one. For the duration of his screen time we're certain that he's just part of the dynamic now, and it's a shame (particularly for Hopper and Fonda) that he wasn't because he seemed to have it all figured out, and he was here long enough to enlighten us about America, Freedom, and Aliens. 

Magnificent Home Video Artwork Through The Years!

As I've bitched before, the journey from theatrical (and now streaming) release to physical media leaves a few casualties in its wake. In the olden days those victims would include sound quality, picture clarity, and aspect ratio. Understandable losses, the technology lived and died in my lifetime and now I can see the edge of the frame from my couch. But something that rarely made it into my living room was the theatrical poster: those glossy pieces of art that sometimes found their way onto billboards, into magazines and comic books, and maybe the wall art selection at your local Kmart. But mostly you saw them when you went out to the movies and they became tied to their respective features as an identifiable logo. Then they'd come out on videocassette wrapped in some alien image of shapes and text (usually an uncomfortably extreme closeup of the lead actor) and you'd think "what the fuck is this shit?" You know it, you share my gripe. It got even dumber with DVD, worse with Blu-ray, I don't know what the hell is going on with the 4Ks, and I'm not even gonna mention the stupid ass Netflix thumbnails. Content personified by celebrity mugs, surgically enhanced and digitally smoothed. Garbage in, garbage out. 

Apparently the canvas of a video cover is too small to convey panache or mood, so at some point somebody's gotta rethink the approach and redesign their art. And wouldn't you know it, sometimes it worked out okay, or even better than okay. Short of when the original poster art actually made it to the cover (though sometimes both sucked) there have been several standouts in my mind of 'alternate art': old videocassettes that became personally (or even culturally) iconic, all the way up to more recent 'special edition' digital video discs that either improved upon or utilized the original graphics. These are several that immediately come to mind.

- Paul

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (VHS)

It's unfortunate, though understandable, that Matthew Peak's original (but convoluted) Freddy's Revenge artwork didn't make it to video stores. No matter. As jumbled together as this cover is, it is perhaps the best interpretation of what this or any Elm Street movie is about: a horrifying melted face engulfed in flames clawing at a shadowy suburban home. I always thought his Part 2 makeup was the scariest, and when you consider that all other depictions of him - whether on video covers or posters or physically in the movies - are dimly lit or entirely abstract, so for me (and maybe for most) this became the most explicit and pronounced image of Freddy Krueger. It haunted my nightmares. 

Rock 'n' Roll High School (VHS)

Was never a fan of the clamshell cases for videocassettes (or as I just called them "big puffy covers"). It was probably on my short list of why I hated Disney movies. But, I absolutely loved the Warner Home Video covers - they often employed original poster art on their boxes, overlaid on their immediately recognizable color-appropriate gradient backdrop. But when they didn't use the posters, they'd assign some obscure publicity still as the centerpiece, creating the vibe only ever utilized by The Criterion Collection. I adore the original Rock 'n' Roll High School poster by William Stout (I have it in my home) but the perfection on this VHS is so esoterically spot-on that it feels like skilled fan art. 

Enemy (Blu-ray)

One of the deciding factors for me to make the jump from DVD to Blu-ray was to have a shot at putting this piece of art on my shelf. I was sorta prepared to buy the movie anyway but I held off when I became aware of this aesthetic upgrade; nothing against a stylized glamour shot of Jake Gyllenhaal, that has its own elegant beauty, but this grim Magritte style against a solid mustard yellow is a much better indication as to what the movie is really like. 

The Blob (VHS)

The theatrical poster wasn't too dissimilar: a silhouetted figure ensconced in pink slime. But the slime looked like raspberry ginger ale and "The Blob" font was better suited to a computer hacking movie; it definitely nailed down the Science Fiction side of the story. But video store shelves were reserved for the Horror Show and so instead we got this ghoulish emaciated victim that incidentally gives a face to the monster, complete with outreaching arms. That and the typeface in fatter, Blobby letters made for a memorable and exciting design. 

Heat (Blu-ray)

This is the most refreshing upgrade and it only took a quarter of a century. I hate floating heads - either that or they never seemed to perfect a composition that made it pleasing, and the Heat heads were some of the most agitating. (Also, I like Val Kilmer but he ruined that Godfather Mt. Rushmore.) This sparse, moody L.A. scenescape best defines the movie while also being more visually captivating than anything in the movie. 

Mitchell (VHS)

I unironically love video art that misrepresents the content of the movie. This doesn't promise any monsters or nudity that isn't actually in the film, and these actors and a helicopter are all part of the plot, but never together and not in this capacity. Also Mitchell came out in 1975, and this particular video release came out in 1989 - note the updated clothing and hairstyles on Joe Don and Linda Evans, probably to capitalize on the peripheral popularity of Hunter or Spencer: For Hire or some other bubbly detective show from that particular moment. Mostly I just like the cartoon bad guy falling to his death like Wile E. Coyote. 

Godzilla: The Showa-Era Films (Blu-ray)

Of all the Criterion covers, which would you choose? Me, I picked one I don't even own or intend on ever buying - but goddammit this artwork will always give me pause in regards to "Hmm, maybe I can learn to like Godzilla." I mean the movies are fine I guess but they certainly don't warrant the eye-catching vibrancy of this Pop Art box set - I'll just get a poster and be done with it.

The Burning (VHS)

It is what it says it is. It certainly takes the mystique out of its stupid ass title, but what it doesn't do is make use of the best and most stylish scene of the movie when Cropsy massacres a boatful of campers with some gardening shears - that's a great image and does look good on a poster but it's such a damn giveaway. This one hour photo print of a stuntman on fire feels a whole lot scarier and more mysterious than anything the movie has to offer. 

A Fish Called Wanda (Blu-ray)

Typically I don't like these busy modern-day Drew Struzan-ripoff murals that have graced the covers of every special edition release of everyone from Shout! to Vinegar to Arrow. But the symmetry of this lineup against the clean white background pops brighter than any of the dreary, muddled Horror stuff. And the details of every prop they've included to even the facial expression are direct, recognizable references that would cause even a casual fan to laugh. 

The Monsters of MST3K

From The Count to Krueger, Horror's leading characters have been its black hats - the deformed evil-doers who must be defeated before our eyes to complete whatever arch they've set up for us. The truly popular ones appear in sequels and reach icon status, living on through Halloween costumes. Then there are the nameless masses that terrorize teens, military forces, and entire cities alike: nondescript creatures, poorly-realized concepts, dispassionate screen presence - these are what make up most of Horror and Science Fiction Cinema, and through the courtesy of a marooned janitor, an office temp, and the help of their robot friends, we came to know and even love some of these beasts and bogeymen that were left in the margins of movies. 

There were many - some were even too abstract to determine their function as fiends (I just don't see Torgo as a monster), but this is a list of the ones I feel could have graced the covers of Famous Monsters of Filmland or earned their own model kit. Underrated? I'd say no, but when you put 'em all together like this it's one helluva mash. Some could do magic, some limped around aimlessly, most were out for revenge. Your weapons are useless against them all.

- Paul

The Boggy Creek Creature

Boggy Creek II: And The Legend Continues

Bigfoot movies typically suck and it's usually because of the monkey suit. But this creature (and the little creature) is pretty effective, despite its resemblance to Cher. 

Trumpy's Mother

Pod People

There's nothing inviting about the dead, expressionless faces of these aliens, and the malevolent matriarch of this weak invasion dispenses her vengeance with an apathy that matches her lifeless eyes. 

The Hobgoblins

Hobgoblins

Their true evil is just a cautionary "be careful what you wish for" type-deal, but when provoked they're ready to throw down in some hand-to-hand puppet combat.

The Creeping Terror

The Creeping Terror

Rarely is a title character so aptly named - it is what it is I guess: some kinda hapless slow-moving blob with an indeterminate texture. Those're the most believable kinds of aliens. 

Dr. Leopold

Blood Waters of Dr. Z

Ok, so he doesn't exactly look like a catfish, but it's still a pretty drastic transformation into a unique and recognizable creature. Plus, the powers of a catfish!

Frank Douglas

Monster a Go-Go

Is it really Frank, or an alien in his place? I'm not here to figure out what the hell this movie's about - I'm just here for the giant Lurch-lookin' motherfucker that saunters around the woods in search of people to slowly assault.  

The Toy Monkey

Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders

This toy seemed to become synonymous with evil in the world of popular culture, and this sorta Grim Reaper variant is effectively simple (unlike certain other "creepy dolls"). 

Lucinda Strickland

The Touch of Satan

In terms of looks and ferocity, Grandma Dried Apple Head would easily be terrifying in a movie that's paced a little more efficiently.

Steve West

The Incredible Melting Man

I suppose he's already kind of a famous monster, but that doesn't excuse him from this best-of list - mostly because I wanna see a fully dedicated cosplay with full melting action. Not for myself, but I encourage others to embark.

Paul Carlson

Track of the Moon Beast

He basically already looks like the quality of masks being offered through Starlog around that time - sorta the perfect movie monster bridge between the 60s and the 80s.