STATIC SHOTS

1979: Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned

Forty five years ago, the Iran hostage crisis began, the Sony Walkman was introduced, and the first Happy Meals were served. Thank you, and goodnight.

Usually (if not consistently) I can give you a decent first-hand account when discussing these anniversary essays, but alas I was not born until 4 years later. And yet, while a lot of change can occur in 4 years time, the end of the 1970s and the early 1980s had a lot in common: space exploration was still a newsworthy endeavor, the Cold War carried on, violence in the Middle East persisted, Michael Jackson and Van Halen were topping the charts, and Facts of Life and Dukes of Hazzard were still on the air. And I actually can say from personal experience that, inside people's homes, the decor and fashions and general lifestyle remained very "70s" for most of the decade that followed. 

So how do we firmly define this year - the last year of The Disco Era? Well, for one, Disco was still King despite its many detractors; Bee Gees, Donna Summer, ABBA, and Village People were practically at the heights of their respective careers. Even Kiss and The Stones were bending to the trend just moments before this empire collapsed. So that's how 1979 sounded, which is crucially indicative of any moment in civilized society. And what about the rest? How do we fill in the rest of the vibe? Politics? Technology? Philosophy? Astrology? As usual, we look to the movies (because what else are they good for?).

I can spy with my sagacious eye and say with some authority that "70s Cinema" and all that implies truly did run out the clock; the timid whimsy of 80s movies wasn't even on the radar yet (STAR WARS mania notwithstanding) as 1979 still packed in the punch of gritty realism, casual violence, and crackling originality. The Comedies were crass, the Horror was strange, the Action was dangerous, the Dramas were dismal, and for however confrontational the subject matter was, they followed suit with their abstractions; scary movies had funny moments, sad movies could be uplifting, car chases were romantic. Crossing genres and pace changes were the nuts and bolts of 70s Films and this year kept good on that bargain - particularly in contrast to the primary-colored kiddie pools of current Cinema. Sequels like Rocky II and More American Graffiti were strident reminders that franchises and reboots would almost always buckle under the weight of their origins and just felt out of place in this decade of fresh ideas. 

There was a lot in '79 - I stand back and look at my list and while it's an accurate representation of my own tastes, the omissions are palpable because there was that much. There are so many different flavors and so many different toppings that even just a selection of five movies would be a strong enough representation of the depth and dominance of this year (and also decade). But I've kept it at a modest Twenty for sanity's sake, and I'll forgo the explicit, longwinded observation of how fun and easy it was to compile a list of favorite movies from 45 years ago and what a tedious trudge it would be to do that with any year from the past 20. 

Someday this war's gonna end.

- Paul

1. The In-Laws

Tracy & Hepburn. Newman & Redford. Hanks & Hooch. "Chemistry" is so rarely a notable attribute anymore, but at the top of my list of that magic element is this singular outing of Arkin & Falk: two great actors on their own but absolutely unstoppable as a pair in this collaboration. But a big reason they play so well off each other is that they have this ridiculous script to work with that I quote so often that half the time it's not even applicable to my own situation. The best Comedy of the year, and best non-Woody Allen Comedy of the 1970s.

2. ...And Justice For All

I'd say it's the Second Best Comedy but it's just too damn dark. But that's the genius of it: not just because it juggles polar opposites of emotions, but because as a whole it's a terrifying mosaic of absurdity that you can't help but laugh at the dumbness of the American Legal System. Along with Rocky and Cuckoo's Nest it's on the short list of films with a climax that'll bring you to your feet and cheer. 

3. Zombie

Or Zombie 2 if you prefer, but I choose not to minimize this wholly original masterpiece by sequelizing it to an unrelated spinoff (Dawn of the Dead). I was never entirely interested in zombies, but they're so rarely this monstrous and creative and cool. Living dead aside, this whole movie is such a humid, sleazy, putrid vibe that could've only been achieved in this era. 

4. Apocalypse Now

I prefer the Redux but that's partly because I just wanted more movie. I've never seen a Vietnam film exactly the way I'd like it to be, but this is still the closest and that's because of its surrealism. It's adequately atmospheric and frightening - especially the often maligned Brando final act, which I find to be the most effective. 

5. The Frisco Kid

The Western was all but done in '79 as they'd become the subject of parody or evolved into robots and laser guns. This movie ignored all conventions for something entirely new and the result is a Lite Comedy with legitimate Western Action all grounded in an incredibly touching story of friendship, spirituality, and love. I could never compare it to anything else. 

6. Alien

At a time when "Serious Horror" (or "Elevated Horror" as it's called now) was still boring as all hell, it was such a punch to the chest to be fooled into witnessing imagery that was so gross and awesome. Like The Exorcist years before, once we're grounded in the safety of reality (or realistic characters), then a truly intelligent picture will abuse that trust by any means.

7. The Kids Are Alright

Possibly the most abstract movie on my list, primarily because it's not necessarily a movie - it's not even a documentary. As a structureless collage of archival footage and staged performances, it's a dizzying Love Letter to The Loudest Band in The World, put together by an actual fan -- and it made one outta me.

8. Rock 'n' Roll High School

Who knew a Punk Rock parable about antiestablishment youths and violent protest could be so fun and lighthearted? Very few Roger Corman productions hit a direct bullseye with me, but I will always watch this whenever I'm in the mood to be in a good mood. 

9. Gas Pump Girls

I'm not sure what you call the genre in which "Young Ladies Use Their Sexuality to Attract Customers to a Failing Business" but this is the best movie of that genre. And if a warm sunshiny Comedy full of retro gas station decor and scantily-clad women isn't enough, it's got a melancholy singalong moment that rivals Magnolia's "Wise Up."

10. The Brood

One of Cronenberg's more accessible "What if" scenarios and I buy right into it. Very often his attempts at suspense are watered down with esoteric whimsy, but this movie nails a perfect balance of bizarre and coherent in a way that seems to satisfy him as much as it does me. 

11. Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens

Technically Russ Meyer's final feature, which is tragic as he'd clearly reached the peaks of his talents. There were tame American Sex Comedies this year like Meatballs and 10 but Russ was doing it with the panache and pornography of European Dramas. Quentin can only hope he bows with this much of a bang.

12. Manhattan

 I've long stood by the contention that Woody was a greater writer and performer than director. But in the late 70s he proves me so wrong and this movie falls right in the sweet spot. There isn't a scene in this movie where you can't feel the same amount of effort and talent in the visuals as in the dialogue and acting, proving him a well-rounded auteur. 

13. Escape From Alcatraz

It's part of the decades-long "Prison Bad, Prisoners Good" subgenre, but I'm sure it hit differently in a post-Vietnam society. The best surprise of this film is that it focuses less on the mechanics of the "escape" and more on its sprawling cast of supporting characters - made up entirely of a lotta my favorite actors. 

14. The Visitor

I don't like using the word "weird" when describing movies, it's too broad of a term. But that's the point, I can't explain it in a few short sentences. Featuring John Huston as a sympathetic hero and cameos from Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Sam Peckinpah, and Franco Nero as Jesus (I think).

15. Mad Max

Maybe the truest example of where the 70s met the 80s: car chases and villains had to be more exciting than STAR WARS and your violence had to make Dirty Harry look tame. And for all that craziness this movie has outstanding performances and a strong emotional core. 

16. The Electric Horseman

Another meta Western to round out the decade, but its cleverness is that the premise would still work in an older movie. Mostly I'm just here for the scenery, up to and including Redford and Fonda lookin' just fine.

17. Time After Time

On paper it's the best idea I could ever imagine: H.G. Wells uses his time machine to chase Jack The Ripper into the 20th Century (specifically The 1970s). And between casting and story structure it's expertly executed, but mostly it's refreshing to see Malcolm McDowell as a sweet romantic lead (especially in the same year he played Caligula).

18. The Amityville Horror

Big chunks of this movie are a real trial to get through, but when they put in the effort it's effective; the characters are weak and unlikable but it makes up for it in atmosphere and jump scares. And I'm a sucker for ghosts (and Margot Kidder). 

19. Phantasm

The coolest thing about this movie (aside from the black 'Cuda) is how many genres it employs: it's a Mystery Thriller with car chases and guns and sex and gore and aliens, all presented like a Gothic Hammer Film. But, again, with a 1971 Plymouth 'Cuda. 

20. Tourist Trap

In the moments between Halloween and Friday the 13th there was Tourist Trap, and in several ways (writing, acting, and just general creepiness) it's better than both of them. And the ending is scarier than most Horror Movies, period.

It Came From FANGORIA ep. 6

TRASH STASH : issue 017

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Babes's TOP 20 HORROR MOVIE CRUSHES

   Everyone is attractive. And horror movie actors(tresses) are no exception to this rule. Sometimes they can even elevate or distract me from a horrible feature. I'll even forget, and remember the movie fondly only to revisit it later, and be reminded that it was only those perfect breasts that kept me engaged. At heart, I'm still just a horny teenager. And my lizard brain is overactive with big eyes for all of those Hollywood cutouts. Same as you. 

- Babes

Kenny

Ernest Scared Stupid

I have always loved the Ernest movies because Jim Varney is a funny motherfucker. It should come as no surprise that his spooky-themed one is the nearest and dearest to my heart. And this little boy, with his very early nineties haircut, blue flannel shirt, and super pouty lips stole my heart. He was one of my earliest pretend boyfriends. And I deeply fantasized. 

Brian Stevenson

Little Monsters

I was always a Winnie Cooper kid. But then I saw this underrated masterpiece and Fred was my new prince. What tips the scales is definitely when he dons the leather vest at the end. Super hunk.

Richie Tozier

IT

Everyone was adorable in this. But little nerdy, glasses-adorning Seth Green was the very best. And a fetish was born. 

Lucy Westenra

Bram Stoker's Dracula

Watching Lucy writhe around, groping and touching her half naked self in the rain, did things to me on a chemical and physical level that I cannot even describe. 

Tatum Riley

Scream

I pretended I liked this movie so that I could see it three more times in the theater, and buy a VHS copy, just so I could ogle this goddess some more. 

Terri

Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth

These movies are not scary, but more so completely disgusting. They for real churn my stomach, and I have to be in the right mood to allow that queasiness. As for this sequel, it takes this very special kind of hottie to distract me from my upchuck feeling, and turn me on. 

Donnie Darko

Donnie Darko 

This was a new release blind rental. Apart from being blown away by its originality and amazing soundtrack/score, I was getting all the feels from the handsome doe-eyed lead actor. And I knew that he was going places. Boy was I right. 

Seth Brundle

The Fly

Jeff just oozes sexuality as much as he does literal goo. 

Carole

Repulsion 

To those of you who need to know this, it's not the crazy ones that you need to be wary of, they're bound to be the most adventurous in the ways you want them to be, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. And she is so goddamn pretty that it hurts. 

Herman Salvadore

The Lords of Salem

Honestly, in certain light, this guy looks like my sexy husband. So that helps. And he's cool as fuck. I should know, I've met him.

Jay Height

It Follows

This film photographs her unusual beauty well, highlighting her gigantic eyes, and making her skin look delicious. 

Hedy Carlson

Single White Female

How do you make her look hotter? Try making her try to look like Bridget Fonda? Winner winner chicken dinner.

Allie Jones

Single White Female

She has always been list-worthy, but this look reigns with that adorable red pixie cut.

Slack

Land of the Dead

Her dark and brooding look caught my attention in this otherwise bag of shit that I had to sit through in the theater. And upon further investigation, she's weird, which makes her even better.

Shaun

Shaun of the Dead

Fewer films have made me laugh harder than this one. And humor is seductive as hell. 

Sarah Roberts

The Hunger

She never makes any scream queen lists, but why not? She's was more alluring than anyone else on them! Especially with blood dripping down her face and body.

Kate Beringer

Gremlins

While I agree with Paul - while this is the worst wardrobe in the history of film, it doesn't take away from all that is her. 

Crawford Tillinghast

From Beyond

Skittish, bookish nerd, in librarian-esque sweater is provocative to me the way naked is to others.

Ginger and Brigitte Fitzgerald

Ginger Snaps

This film was described to me as a "lesbian werewolf movie". While it's not, I can still pretend, and I very much like to...

Sukie Ridgemont 

The Witches of Eastwick

It's worth noting that her character is extremely fertile, and has many children, which means she really likes fucking. And sluts rock.    

It Came From FANGORIA ep. 5

BENNETT PLACE: ALTERNATIVE POSTERS - SEPTEMBER 2021

 

1986: Life moves pretty fast...

The 35th Anniversary is the "Jade Anniversary" -- which, in this context, means absolutely nothing. But it justifies the notion that there is such a thing as a "35th Anniversary," if that's important to ya. Me, I don't need any cultural consent to justify my love for this big awesome 80s year - especially when it comes to the movies. (And if you're not aware, I'm gonna make you aware.)

I was 3 years old. In April, my family and I moved to a small dead-end street called Bennett Place. I don't think I fully grasped the concept of "moving" - all I know is I fell asleep in a familiar setting and woke up in a room I'd never seen before - alone. Half awake I navigated the foreign dwelling with equal parts fear and wonder, in search of a familiar face, cautiously descending a flight of cold, uncarpeted stairs along bare, echoing walls, to find my mother and sister in what was to be 'the parlor.' In terms of the plot, this is where childhood began.

Chernobyl and Iran-Contra didn't make much of an impact on me. Due to my love of astronauts and space exploration, I was effectively shielded from any news of the Challenger explosion. Though no one bothered to hide their misery regarding the staggering loss of the World Series for the Red Sox -- I'd never seen grownups so forlorn. My only awareness of Halley's Comet was a commemorative Matchbox car that I had (which is now tattooed on my arm). I was simultaneously introduced to Nickelodeon and the first two Elm Street movies. Steeped and marinating in Bon Jovi and Real Ghostbusters. The California Raisins made their TV commercial debut. I made my first voyage to the movie theater for Star Trek IV. I spent days exploring a new neighborhood of woods, secret hideouts and passageways, an open field, a playground, and a corner store full of candy and trading cards. Pee-Wee Herman had his own show. There was no such thing as school. 1986 was Life, and I was good at it.

Our generation is accused of idealizing our youth more than past generations, but it really doesn't take any extra mental effort to simply glance at how neat shit was. Though it's not until we're gradually introduced to a hostile world that we really begin to appreciate the safety of home & family & juvenescence. Oh, and the quality of Motion Pictures. Every year of the 1980s is a piñata full of the pop icons we've been beaten over the head with ever since nostalgia became a marketing technique. But we know it more than just a collage of catchphrases and caricatures -- because we know more and we know better.

This is an odd year; there are those aforementioned flagship features with their universal appeal, and then a ton of deep cuts and B-sides that we all know just as well or more. So many, in fact, that I can compile a robust list of favorites, and you could do a completely different lineup, and they'd both be a strong flavor of this particular year. So, same as I did for 1985, I've kept it to a modest 20 - mostly for the sake of keeping it sturdy and compelling. The omissions hurt, and hopefully you feel my pain enough to tabulate your own tally - particularly without any rules or regulations.

This is where the law stops, and I start.

- Paul

1. Manhunter

So I was soured on this one for the longest time because my parents wholly dismissed it for straying too far from the book. But when I slipped into a Mann obsession in my teens, I discovered this Vaporwave chiller that managed to embellish all the hallmarks that Miami Vice gets credit for. An aesthetic was perfected here, and it's one that speaks to me at a very high volume; a moody mosaic of precise, colorful compositions cut to Synth and Prog Rock, paced like a Pulp Detective novel. This entire vibe feels so trendy right now, but no one bothers to even attempt to pull it off anymore (not even Michael Mann). It could be for the best, considering this can never be topped.

2. Running Scared

My favorite Buddy Cop Comedy of all time -- I'm not even gonna bother trying to think of any others. The supporting cast is a dream, the action & stunts are clever & enthralling, the score/songtrack is monumental, and the juxtaposition between 80s Chicago and Key West is one of the most visceral time machines you'll ever ride. But all of this is secondary to the chemistry between Gregory Hines and Billy Crystal, forged by a sophisticated script and inspired performances that could've easily kicked off a welcomed sequel or franchise. 

3. The Money Pit

I hate when people refer to a movie as "weird" - but this is a pretty weird movie; a lite RomCom built on the ramshackle foundation of slapstick, stunts, and sight gags, all driven by quick, sharp dialogue. Given its fixed location and broad emotions, it's practically a lowbrow opera of sorts, and all the lyrics have been stuck in my head my whole life.

4. Cobra

Even while you're watching it, you think it's a big fiery 1980s Stallone Actioner, but if you're paying as close attention as you should, you'll recognize it as the hard-boiled, polychromatic, killer thriller that it is. The vapid plot and dialogue only accentuate the voluptuous soundtrack and rainbow imagery that all movies should have - but don't. One of the other fun things about it is that it was a critical failure -- so I like to go ahead and believe it was too cerebral for most folks (and I encourage you to believe the same).

5. Blue Velvet

In a decade known for its mindless action, broad comedy, and children's fantasy, there sure is a lotta beautiful artistry. Seeing this movie for the first time (in its correct aspect ratio) is what turned me into a David Lynch fan; it's when I became aware that even the most straightforward dialogue scenes could (and should) be compositionally striking. As one of the best-looking films of all time, I still use it (even subconsciously) as a barometer to measure the quality of all other movies. 

6. Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Not all heroes wear capes... Was this ever more apparent than in the era of Indiana Jones and Christa McAuliffe? ...anyone? ...anyone? I wasn't even in Kindergarten yet when I saw this and found I was already rooting for its antiestablishment message. But that's its genius: the premise, the characters, even the setting are all so compelling and fun because they're wrapped in genuinely funny comedy. 

7. Flight of the Navigator

People love to call attention to the unintentional scariness of the movies of their youth, but there's nothing unintentional about the spookiness of this Family Film. This isn't searching for pirate treasure or even battling Universal Monsters - this is existential horror from the darkest corners of time & space; a juvenile Twilight Zone saturated in nightmarish production design and an Alan Silvestri music score that mercilessly accentuates the contrast between wonderment and dread. Every child should see this.

8. Crocodile Dundee

The sweetest fish-outta-water tale ever told, it's blissfully aimless and beautifully paced; we get as much of a flavor of The Outback as we do of urban America. (And 1980s New York City is such an important character in Cinema.) Talkin' a lot about music on this list (not surprisingly) - the final 5 minutes of this movie always reignites my appreciation (and desperate longing) for great film scores.

9. The Color of Money

Boy did this movie end up being an acquired taste; viewing it for the first time many years after its release, it seemed lazy by comparison. But it's not - it falls somewhere between Taxi Driver and Shutter Island in terms of Marty's moodiest motion pictures; it may not be as confrontational or contemplative as his other stuff, but the smell of booze & blues sticks to your clothes forever.

10. The Wraith

This was a baffling movie to a little kid. As an adult, that very same bewilderment still has me hooked -- that & it has one of the Top 10 greatest soundtracks of all time. But that's the trick of an excellent soundtrack: it wouldn't work as well without this specific movie, and vice versa.

11. Three Amigos!

It works in the same way Monty Python and the Holy Grail works; you take the silliness out of it and you're left with a rich, period-specific Action/Adventure genre pic. But pretentiousness aside, this is one of those rare Comedies that's worthy of its plethora of A-list comedian stars. I never had a 'cowboy' phase as a kid, but this most likely sparked my lust for the desert. 

12. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

I don't get butthurt when my expectations aren't met; I do feel disappointment when I expect a good movie and get a bad one instead... Some sequels are unique and bold enough to exist beyond comparison (Gremlins 2, Freddy's Dead, Halloween 3), and TCM2 breaks free from the ruthless terror of the original and blossoms into a loud, yucky Comedy that functions as the most creative Slasher flick you'll ever see.

13. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

Speaking of breaking the mold... Part V was a breath of abstract air, but Part VI is when this franchise finally became what it was supposed to be: fun! Gone was the self-seriousness of an attempted "scary" Horror movie as we welcomed the self-awareness of the pace and humor of a zombie in a hockey mask killing people we don't know or care about in funny ways. Seriously one of the most appreciated changes in tone I've ever experienced.

14. Howard the Duck

Look, I don't know what you want me to say - it's still as strong and crazy as when I was a kid. I can make broad, superficial remarks about how Howard is likable and the FX are competent and Lea Thompson is a babe, but it's strength continues to be its shameless derangement that dares you to not take it seriously. 

15. Demons 2

When is it acceptable for a sequel to plainly rehash everything from the previous movie? Only when it's a nonstop kaleidoscopic assault on your eyes, ears, and stomach. Had it been anything less (or different) it would've been a boring misstep -- instead, it's a revolting 'Round 2' of rotting flesh, drooling smiles, glowing eyes, and cinematography that puts most other movies to shame. 

16. The Fly

We've played this game before: imagine a hypothetical remake, then assign the perfect director to the job. Well, here's an example of when it actually happened. But like most of Cronenberg's resume, the highlights are the script, the performances, and my god the makeup effects. Body Horror was a rational phobia in the 80s, and this movie twists the knife in a wonderful way.

17. Aliens

Second to soundtracks and scores (iconic James Horner theme anyone?) there's a lotta sequels here (this is the fifth on this list). And like all the previously noted titles, this was no ordinary followup to no ordinary movie; never has "raise the stakes" delivered on such a violently massive scale. Ripley knows how it's gonna go, and it's fun because so do we.

18. Highlander

So here's one I sought out because of its soundtrack, and like everyone I got caught up in its bizarre SciFi mythology. But even still to this day, no matter how many wonderful performances Clancy Brown turns in, he's still The Kurgan to me.

19. TerrorVision

There was nothing subtle about the way Horror filmmakers were paying homage to 50s Cinema during this decade, and this punk/alien/monster movie mashup is one of the most audacious. Somehow, simultaneously, it also parodies the 1980s (particularly through the fashions and attitudes of the Diane Franklin and Jon Gries characters), making it essential to this particular list for this particular year.

20. Big Trouble in Little China

But really, what sums up this year the best? Originality, humor, visual effects, quotable lines, kindertrauma, culture shock, suspension of disbelief, solid gold soundtracks, guns, knives, lasers, explosions, and all the other stuff we can find in any year of Film... But never this much all at once. And I continue to have hope that it could happen on this scale again, as I still believe that loose promise: "the check is in the mail."

It Came From FANGORIA ep. 3

TRASH STASH : issue 013

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Something Else : Great Horror Movies You Might Have Missed

Paul's List

Zombie Holocaust (aka Dr. Butcher M.D.) Marino Girolami 1980
   One of the greatest standoffs ever realized : zombies vs. cannibals. Who wins? The Audience!

Flesh Eater Bill Hinzman 1988
   Though laughably incompetent and often misogynistic, few other films capture the flavor of the Fall season as well as this.

Don't Look In the Basement (aka The Forgotten) S.F Brownrigg 1973
   Eerie atmosphere that builds to a punchy climax.

City of the Living Dead Lucio Fulci 1980
   Zombies + demonic powers = some of the goriest stuff ever done by Fulci (or anyone).

The Unholy Camilo Vila 1988
   Crazy cast, striking imagery. Sexy and gross. Think "Diet Hellraiser."


Babes' List

Don't Look Now Nicolas Roeg 1973
   A very important lesson is learned from this film - don't ever chase your past into darkness.

Ginger Snaps John Fawcett 2000
  My absolute favorite coming-of-age tale and the most interesting example of equating the transformation to werewolf with the turmoil of adolescent bodily changes.

The Brood David Cronenberg 1979
   Emotional trauma is your greatest enemy.

Prince of Darkness John Carpenter 1987
   Carpenter's most underrated work. An ambient and nihilistic approach to a biblical apocalypse.

Lords of Salem Rob Zombie 2013
   A terrifying modern look at how fucking cool Massachusetts history is.

BENNETT PLACE : SECTION FORTY EIGHT

CINETEXT -- part thirteen

HEADS :: David Paul Cronenberg

- b. 1943 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
- Director: 19 feature films (1969-2011)

Jess's favorite: The Fly (1986)

Paul's favorite: A History of Violence (2005)

TEXTURES

BENNETT PLACE : SECTION TWENTY THREE

CINETEXT -- part seven