11.27.2021

Pinhead vs. The 90s


A driven female TV reporter. A runaway street girl with dreams of a better life. An excessively douchey nightclub owner. A heavy metal soundtrack (and theme song). A demon who dispatches his victims by flinging compact discs. 

Now, can we talk sensibly?

We're always discussing these delightful sequels that take a sharp turn into some other dimension, and why that's sometimes good and sometimes not. But this ain't no Aliens. This ain't no New Batch. This is Pinhead Takes Manhattan, or more accurately, Clive Barker's New Nightmare. As the plot explains, Pinhead has broken free from his typical Cenobite functions and has become a straightforward real world slasher -- and the "real world" is New York City (which clearly isn't) in the year Nineteen Hundred and Ninety Two. Gone is the gothic, timeless setting of the vaguely European locations of the first two films - as are nearly all of the "rules" and motivations put in place by their complex (though sometimes flimsy) mythology. Nothing against Parts One & Two, but that story was done and had nowhere to go. If they were gonna press on, there had to be a change - that's reality. But what kind of change is where there seems to be some disagreements. 


The movie starts with that same familiar tone: shadowy surroundings, a mysterious transaction, the Christopher Young title music, a hook-related body explosion. It's comfortable but boring.
Then we meet Brad.


Brad has about a page of dialogue. He shows up for a scene to instruct lead character Joey to be sexier and wear shorter skirts when she conducts her on-camera interviews. Brad has no real plot function, but his snappy dialect and obnoxious demeanor and dated wardrobe and haircut would set us down a path from which we would never return. Brad single-handedly initiated this into "franchise mode": Hellraiser would never be the same. 


And was that so bad? ...Well, they had a good thing going there - and it only would've taken a bit of effort to keep up that sorta Hammer Films vibe they created with the previous two. And it's important to note: following this movie they truly tried to get back to original stories that only vaguely referenced the Cenobite stuff. But it would never be like it was - and it would certainly never be anything like this movie. 


Hell on Earth may be a spike on the timeline, but in many ways that spike stands alone. People have long lamented that the once-supporting "Lead Cenobite" eventually took over the series - simultaneously diminishing his mystique and trivializing the story aspects. In actuality, I've seen five of the seven films that follow this one (yes, there are ten with an eleventh on the way), and those were all convoluted psychological thrillers with barely a mention of Pinhead. 


But no, not this one. This one is The Pinhead Show; it's an origin story, it's an anomaly, it's a renegade, it's a "fuck you" to the fervent fanboys & girls who swore by the books and/or the first films. The menacing chains have become the chainsaw, the razor glove, the machete. He's no longer seeking out the individual souls who summon him via The Box to fulfill their masochistic curiosities and shower them with flowery prose. He's out for blood - any type. A body count. To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart. Hell on Earth. 


And when better to start than the 1990s? Upon further exploration we learn that Pinhead's physical self began only as recently as the First World War, but whatever he's made of and whatever he does is timeless; he carries the history and knowledge of humanity within his supernatural essence. So when he's resuscitated into the age of "Achy Breaky Heart" and "Baby Got Back," his disgust is vindicated. This isn't the worst he's seen (either physically or psychically), but clearly there's been no evolution in regards to the brand of enlightenment he dispenses. He's now here to punish with pleasure (rather than please with punishment), and it comes to fruition in one of the more famous scenes in the film (and maybe the franchise).


Pinhead unleashes Hell on a crowd of unsuspecting nightclub patrons in an orgy of bloody latex and VFX. I find it as satisfying as the pool party in Freddy's Revenge or the cornfield slaughter in Freddy vs. Jason or any confrontation in the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre. I recently poured my heart out in regards to my boredom with the Slasher genre - and it's because I only ever want scenes like this. I don't know if that makes me lowbrow but I'm not sorry about it - they make these movies about these savage monsters who are frequently and bafflingly too timid to just go ahead and kill the cast. So when something like this happens, it's just about the most believable thing in this or any of these movies. 


It was easy to not be scared of Pinhead and the 'bites because I'd never had any intention to dive into the Lament Configuration. Hell on Earth removes that safety net and asserts that I could get a hook in the hand at any moment. What's worse is that I could end up as part of his crew - damned to saunter around in black pleather with my lips stapled to my nuts for all eternity (or at least until the next sequel). But that was another neato part of this movie: the way Cenobites are made like comic book villains. Whatever basic traits they had when they were alive mixed with however they were killed and presto change-o: Camerahead, Pistonhead, CDhead, et al. The lore this movie gave was noticeably more accessible and cartoonish, and I'm somehow both pleased and put off by it. 


There are smudges throughout that are unfortunate. While still a theatrical release, it was still low budget stuff - which was handled decidedly well with the first two, but wobbled under the weight of their attempt to turn this one into an Action picture. The nastiness of the gore is made a little less nasty with some lazier effects, and it's tough to turn a general mood into movement. There's an awkward foot chase in which Joey (Terry Farell) frolics down a poorly-dressed city street at night while dodging fireballs, reckless drivers, and downed power lines - because Pinhead don't run. Though this is immediately followed by the best scene in the movie as Joey seeks refuge in a church - which backfires as Pinhead follows behind and joyfully mocks the establishment in grotesque ways. This scene actually managed to piss off the Jesus freaks - which means this so-called silly sequel still had some teeth.


This movie was born outta 3 things: the rise of Dimension Films, the fall of New World Pictures, and the fact that virtually no one from the previous installments (except Doug Bradley) were willing to reprise their roles. What that meant was: Clive Barker was to never again have any creative input, and Pinhead now belonged to Miramax. And throughout the decade, they would do as much for him as they did for Michael Myers - more or less just shitting the bed on screen. So, save for Part IV (which I also like), Hell on Earth is the next-to-final act in what I consider to be the official Hellraiser Quadrilogy: an unbroken narrative in which the supporting character with nails in his head becomes the surprise lead to guide us through some fucked up folklore about a sadomasochistic Rubik's Cube. We visit Hell, the U.S., the U.K., outer space, World War One, the Vietnam War, 1796, 2127, and, unmistakably, the 1990s.

- Paul

11.22.2021

Monday Meditations : 11/22/21

   
With the yearly food abundance ritual approaching this week, we are heavily immersed in as many Turkey Day-centric films as humanly possible. Even the briefest of presences of said meal, constitutes a viewing. To me, this embodies the holiday; a reason for a themed film festival, coupled with my second favorite thing: gluttony. I tell that inner voice inside, the one that nags me out of growing an extra thigh and ass size, to take its own holiday. And then, I just keep forcing it in. But I never worry. It all comes out in the end. And that, my friends, is truly something to be grateful for. So cheers to you all on this mighty occasion. May you eat plenty and have merriment galore. And please, go watch some movies. Preferably with some gravy and mashed potatoes. 

- Babes


1. "Fumblin' With the Blues" by Tom Waits

2. "The Carny" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

3. "We Are the Dead" by David Bowie

4. "So Long, Marianne" by Leonard Cohen

5. "Songbirg" by Fleetwood Mac

6. "Memo From Turner" by Mick Jagger

7. "If I Only Had the Words (to Tell You)" by Billy Joel

8. "Autumn Almanac" by The Kinks

9. "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" by The Hollies

10. "Call Me Back Again" by Wings


11.20.2021

We Wish You a Bloody #2!


I'm back on my "sequels" bullshit again. But this is a very specific assortment: followups that trembled under the weight of their more competent and/or popular precursors. And yeah, in some cases, the quality dips, and for others, it's a remarkable improvement. Either way, these are all plucked from "franchises" that we typically don't think of as such for one reason or another (no central villain, varying formats, not enough sequels, etc.), but however they hold up against their respective "Part Ones," I dig 'em enough. Sometimes a lot.

- Paul


Snappy. Engrossing. PG-13 Action disguised as a monster movie. All of these describe the original 1990 Tremors, and it's all present in its first sequel (maybe even to better effect). The setup feels entirely like a Michael Crichton premise (particularly Jurassic Park), though coincidentally, it's actually just The Lost World before that even got a film adaptation: a reluctant Fred Ward is coaxed back into Graboid hunting and all goes wrong. Apart from being legitimately entertaining, for a Direct-to-Video creature feature, the effects (both practical and CGI) are pretty great - and when they're not, they're still fascinating. 


It's the best Ghoulies there is - and while that's like falling off a log, don't let that fact undersell the value of this installment. As far as the Ghoulies themselves go: I always liked that they came in a variety and that no two Ghoulies are alike - but other than that they're completely uninteresting. What sells this one are the humans; competent actors playing somewhat likable characters. Add in a few genuine laughs and it gets a more-than-passing grade. And if you're new here, you don't need to see the others for this one to work.


It's taken me most of my life to realize that I don't really care for "college humor" - as in comedy specifically relating to the educational institution itself. But when you add stuff like demonic possession or some T&A then it's fine. For as shamelessly silly as the first one is, it still has worthy moments of surprise and terror. This one is just straight silly; it's still endlessly inventive and never boring, but if your favorite bits from Part One were the funny bits, well they've gone & made a flick for you. 


There's a cult around this series that I'm not part of. What that means for me is that I can enjoy these movies more as a friend than as a lover. You can really only go so many places with Zombie Comedies (Zombedies? Zom Coms?), but this one's unique because it's a kids' movie; there's no cursing or sexuality or even gore really. There also aren't really any scares, shocks, or laughs. I've seen it 3 times and each time is like the first time; it doesn't leave any deep marks, but it's pleasant while it's happening. 


Swap out the standard 'teen angst' setting of high school and home life for the standard 'teen angst' setting of an unscrupulous rehab clinic, and there you have it. But still with werewolves. Lycanthropy has always had a big overlap in the Body Horror Venn diagram, and these movies are the least shy about it. The first film had a lotta subtext - this one is just about the ickiness of becoming a carnivorous wild dog (and going to grotesque lengths to stop it). And while the previous one was all about Katherine Isabelle, this one belongs to Emily Perkins (in screen time, but also bravura performance). 


The question is, "What's the difference between an artist who chooses to paint like a child and a child's paining?" From Dusk Till Dawn may've been a 'Drive-In' homage, but the more contemporary parallel was Direct-to-Video. And so, apart from the smaller budget (and the absence of one of the greatest screenwriters of all time), this was a natural and seamless continuation. What is it about crime & vampires that makes 'em go so well together? Add a cast of character actor cameos (and leads) and you've got one solid Action/Horror/Crime/Vampire whatever. 


Barring recent attempts at a tonal reboot, the common thread in this 8-film(!) series has been its 'self-awareness.' Too bad - he's kind of a great character, but even the crazier sequels in this franchise are boring as all fuck. Though I can't say that about this one; I like this one most - not because it's any less of a Comedy, but because it's portioned out with some finesse. It's totally a standalone story, but because it is a sequel, there's none of that pesky exposition for the dullards in the back; nothing but highbrow hijinks here!

11.13.2021

CHRISTMAS KILLS

How was your Halloween season? Did you eat all the foods and watch all the shows? Did you pig out on Paydays to People Under the Stairs? Did you binge The Purge? Did you Transylvania Twist at 20,000 feet? Cuz we sure as heckfire did and we're having a tough time shakin' it off; we still got the Heebie Jeebies runnin' all through us, and tryna exorcise has been like a wet pumpkin seed on a linoleum floor.

So we thought, "Hey, we're adults kinda. Who says we have to lay this vibe to rest on a certain date? Let's keep it going!" So, let's keep a-goin'!

Welcome back to the Spooky Season as we give you CHRISTMAS KILLS - some refashioned reindeer games to help ease the good suffering of post-holiday blues. I mean, sure, there's plenty of "Holiday Horror" stuff to blur the lines for the casual dabbler, but our plans are to shoot you in the foot and let it bleed. We're pressing on with the guts and the gory like Santa's not watching - a mistletoe massacre so creepy that Tim Burton may be forced to take legal action.

We're not entirely sure what this means in terms of output, but this is the frame of mind we're comfortable in for the foreseeable future. We've obviously retired all the clear-cut October institutions (pumpkins, candy corn, Michael Myers) but apparently there's a whole bloody mess of new material out there that, if timed correctly, could become regular Yuletide practice.

Trust us, there's plenty of room this season between the leg lamps and Lou Whos for a decapitation or two.


11.08.2021

NAME THAT MOVIE!

Do you even like scary movies bro?

The boys from Between the Reels busted out 2/3s of correct answers on this year's Horror Movie set. No easy task -- so as a reward, we're gonna cut you a break - today: for the following lineup, we're gonna give you a hint...

And that's it - that's the hint. You really don't need any more than that; once you figure it out you're gonna suck these down like egg noodles & ketchup. You're welcome.




EASY





FAIR





DIFFICULT





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