10.13.2019

BENNETT MEDIA SNACK BAR

Film: Ghostbusters (1984)

Recipe: The Destructor

64oz Hi-C Ecto Cooler
64oz Burnett's Whipped Cream Vodka






1. Pour equal parts into 1-gallon jug. Mix thoroughly.

2. Drink responsibly, or until you're performing unnecessary surgeries & thinking of J. Edgar Hoover.

10.09.2019

Thoughts they cannot defend


Film criticism is funny; since the beginning, published material was (and is) largely derived from a singular, recent viewing - and, obviously, if a movie is strong enough (or weak enough), it should leave an immediate impact either way. Right? I mean, that's fair, but it's also ignorant to the laws of subjectivity and evolution. Who here's never started to have strong feelings for a film once you started to get to know them better - or, just as easily, parted ways with a picture because you've simply grown as a person (or you're just afraid of commitment)? In the most perversely extreme example, the album Thriller hasn't changed in nearly forty years; it still has all the exact same beats and notes and lyrics it had in 1982, but for many listeners today, it quite literally sounds different due to context. ...But isn't that cool? The art itself almost doesn't exist; the quality and consistency only lives in the eye/ear/mind of the audience. It's the whole 'tree falling in the woods' thing.

What I'm getting at is that we rarely talk about brand new stuff on here, and that's often a conscious choice, and that choice is rarely made for the reasons you're thinking of. After all, I'm about as interested in reading someone's "hot take" as I am about writing one - which, is to say, not at all really. But I might be more inclined to read a positive review or analysis of some firmly established classic: "Sure, I'll donate my time to yet another deconstruction of Pierrot le Fou - maybe I missed something in the last twenty essays."
But something I'm infinitely more interested in is a passionate, articulate argument in support of an otherwise underrated, overlooked, flat-out hated flick that perhaps even myself would've never given a second thought. And the tricky treat of seeking out these abandoned love letters is they're not always, in fact, articulate, and this forces one to discriminate and search for and discover new and exciting voices - which, at its root, was once the joy of reading film criticism.
And they're out there - those unliked movies - walking silently amongst us, remerging only to become the source of a social media argument from time to time. And because of the certain circles and groups and pages and articles I glance at, I'm constantly aware of a broad, unconstructive hate for the 2009 version of Halloween II (or better known as Rob Zombie's Halloween II, or, to save time, RZ's H2).


I don't know about you, but when folks dislike something I like, or, when they like something I dislike, it forces me to look inward; not to question my tastes or motives, but rather fine-tune and sharpen my interests and throw my views under a magnifying glass - and the balance between maintaining openmindedness vs. staying true to oneself is a stunt I can pull off with great ease.

And that's why I'm thrilled to talk a bit about H2 - a movie that even the "hardcore fans" (fuck that phrase, btw) have nominated as the worst entry in a franchise of countless 'worst entries.'

Unlike the uncomfortably polite review of Freddy's Revenge I posted a few months back, this will be a defense. It will be confrontational. I also won't hesitate in referencing any & all the other movies in the series for comparative leverage. This is the season for hard-R blood & guts and the unstoppable will of "pure evil" - the end of summer. No mercy.


The first time I saw it, I didn't like it. I wasn't particularly thrilled with his remake of part one either, but I was still shamelessly receptive to the 'gritty,' handheld departure from the cartoonish House of 1000 Corpses. At this point in time, if he did anything that mildly resembled Devil's Rejects aesthetically, he'd clearly matured as a visual artist. And H2 has a handful of 'surreal' dream sequences and hallucinations that recalled his early, amateurish music video vibes, and those sour shots stayed with me more than the rest of the film. What I took away from it was a confounding regression in style, which hurt my feelings deeply; I, like probably a lotta other people, had still been on a high from the shock & freshness of Devil's, and any kinda departure from that flavor (as shortsighted as it sounds) was an obvious abomination, and demanded to be ostracized, or ignored (I chose the latter). Had I never gone back to it (which wasn't for several years) it would've drifted off as a forgotten misstep in an uneven film career; a lackluster sequel to an ambitiously underwhelming remake. No hate, no disgust, just mild disappointment.


Cut to a few years later and I revisit it as the "Unrated Director's Cut" (as the only way it's available on disc). Initially, it still feels mostly the same (though I'd admit the short list of added material really did flesh out more of a texture), but without the inaugural impact of whatever let me down the first time, I was better able to absorb the picture more thoroughly as to how it was (probably) intended: an even more realistic, more visceral, more expository exploration of the force of nature who was thought to be more than human, but was actually more of an animal - which I think was the point of the previous installment, but that's another story. And this concept doesn't deviate too far from the original series; the paranormal angle of Michael Myers as we knew him was barely there -- never mind anything Loomis ever said (which was never explicit), the only subtext that ever alerted us to the idea that something was weird was that Michael was impervious to injury and death. It wasn't until Part 6 that they really tried to push some convoluted origin story (which, on my list, is the worst of the franchise).

No one was particularly psyched on Rob's hillbilly backstory for Michael (myself included), but what H2 does (without much subtlety) is lets us know that we all maybe missed the point in the first place: Michael wasn't a monster because he came from a broken home full of violence and cursing. If anything (in this story), he's a contemporary Norman Bates, complete with a psychic connection to his mother whom he believes is instructing him to kill. And despite how clumsily they beat this dead white horse, I still find this scenario infinitely more interesting than any backstory bullshit from the first eight movies. I love John Carpenter, but his copout of "he's just pure evil" is exactly that. No, we never needed a Myers explanation, but as good as the original '78 movie was, it's driven by as much misguided motivation as The Shape himself; the course of events indicate that there's something going on that we need to know about, and it feels less like a spooky unsolved mystery and more like the underwritten indie film that it is. The '81 Halloween II does little to explain away any of the deeper, potentially mystical stuff, but it does establish the family bloodline thread - which added practically nothing to the originals, but does plenty for RZ's stuff. In the remakes, the familial connection is there the whole time, and it's a much less incidental development as it is the supernatural ingredient that pulls us further away from 'remake' and moves towards 'reimagining.' And this is where people get bitchy.


The complaints regarding the first half of the '07 remake were only matched by the complaints about the second half -- no one didn't point out that it was merely a rehash of the original movie. This is where remakes start to demonstrate their futility: "do you want something different, or do you want the usual?" I'll answer for you: you want the usual. There are still folks out there who can't handle Halloween III. And so, what, Parts 4 through 8 worked so well for you? (I ask this ironically even though I know some of y'all dig those). But if you wanted something original, if you wanted a gory, psychedelic spin on an otherwise sparse Horror classic that deconstructs the slasher genre into brutal realism with shades of ghosts, madness, and clairvoyance, look no further than Rob Zombie's Halloween II.

Or don't, whatever. This wasn't meant to be about the state of film criticism or a deconstruction of the plots of various Halloween movies. My intention was to put forth exactly why I like H2 - which has very little to do with its cerebral storyline, its relationship to the other films, its brand, or its broad, narrowminded unpopularity.

I started watching it regularly in 2013 around October (naturally) and then consistently on the holiday itself for the past four years, and right off the bat, the reason for this (which is its biggest selling point for me) is that it could be the best Halloween movie -- as in, like, October 31st. Most pictures that take place during the season often come across as phony: transparent, staged, overkill, forced, warm, green, sunny Southern California usually. It's my favorite holiday, and disregarding whatever I've chosen to do on that day at any stage in my life, no movie has ever mirrored my activities, depicted my mood, or captured the crisp flavor of the atmosphere quite like 2009's Halloween II. Daytime scenes are sparse (which is accurate), and when the sun is out, the light is right & low in the sky. In October, it's usually dark and it's usually cold - this is a movie clearly made by a guy who grew up in New England. You may spot some decorations or a jack-o-lantern or a trick-or-treater, but the month is never a gaudy orgasmic Disney Channel light show -- even when I was a kid, it was still grim and spooky, like it goddamn should be, and like a Horror movie titled Halloween goddamn should be.


So, the vibe is in place, and who the hell can argue that away? I'll tell you who: people who require more than autumnal moods and expertly crafted ambience. Perhaps folks who seek graphic violence and interesting kills...

I've seen swift stabs and blows with knives, machetes, and axes, and I've seen meticulous torture scenarios featuring various razors and needles and shards of glass and other implements of Giallo, but never had I seen victims dispatched with such malicious fervor and viscous tactics: Michael beats these people to death with the business end of a kitchen blade with a ferocity that causes him to grunt and scream louder than the poor souls he's obliterating. And maybe apart from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I'd never seen a "slasher" demonstrate such legitimately gruesome, realistic frights. But, again, audiences didn't respond to anything that was uncharacteristically 'Michael,' and nothing is further away from Michael Myers than realism. Until, of course, this movie.
The supposed 'gritty,' 'realistic,' Dark Knight approach to Slasher Horror was something we hadn't seen much of around that time (again, not since Chainsaw Massacre in '74), which is a shame; Michael as an unkempt drifter on the outskirts of Haddonfield is both a brilliant and logical scenario that its cartoonish predecessors would've never touched. It's a more interesting approach and, in turn, more scary. Of course, no one liked it.


I love Jamie Lee - she's always great and her efforts in the '78 original are iconic. Though I'll say without an ounce of shame or irony that Scout Taylor-Comtpon really runs the gamut in an incredibly demanding, raw portrayal as a convincing PTSD victim in H2 (which may be unfair to Jamie Lee, since Laurie was literally sedated for the bulk of the original sequel). It was a performance I hand't really considered until I took a look at the Director's Cut with an additional scene between Scout & Margot Kidder: Laurie's losing her shit and crying and speaking incoherently and just fucking killing it, and the whole thing's composed with jarring edits and sound design and it's exciting and touching and all of it just makes a strong case for how much Scout, Rob, and the film are all working on a whole different tier than any other Halloween movie (Season of the Witch included). Most other slasher flicks don't even come close to a sequence of this intensity, and they could have really used some - the Elm Street movies especially.


The movie's actually littered with strong performances (which you can say about most of RZ's features), but I gotta point out the genius of casting Brad Dourif and Malcolm McDowell - two of the sweetest honey glazed hams this side of the genre - together in not one but two movies. And, again, I'm still mildly down on Rob's first Halloween, but these two actors spiked the punch in all the less potent parts. But in H2, both actors (Dourif in particular) regress way back into the realm of accomplished, respected, good actors where they used to reside. Brad inhabits the role of a seasoned veteran of life (which he is) with a quiet, understated, and heartbreaking eloquence that should no longer go unnoticed after a career of abrasive show & camp.
And I think the same could be said for Malcolm, who went largely unnoticed in this short series because he (naturally) evolved into a bit of an antagonist, which, yet again, was a refreshing departure from the jittery, inept Loomis with which we'd come to comfortably familiarize ourselves. Of course, fans hold Donald Pleasence's contemporary ne'er-do-well Van Helsing in high regard and in a place in their hearts, but those're the kinda lines I like stepping over: adding depth (in either direction) to an otherwise one-dimensional character.
It's just fucking fiction, folks.


The hyper-stylized hallucinations and dream stuff that had initially turned me off of the whole thing I now find to be substantially better-crafted than the redneck VHS crap in 1000 Corpses - and also an obvious foreshadow into his talents as a surrealist in Lords of Salem. And having seen this movie numerous times now & standing back from it, these trippy breaks from ho-hum wall-to-wall stalk-and-kill setups are not only integral to the premise they were going after, but give the movie a stylistic range that's as balanced as it is necessary. And, most importantly, it's the touchstone of my argument that, sometimes, we should go back to see if we (the audience) have changed or grown.


And with that, I've gone back and checked all my answers & all the circles appear to be filled.
Look, I really hate words like "underrated" or "under-appreciated" - by definition, they're fucking stupid, and in this, now, the Rotten Tomatoes age, these entitled, solipsistic words and phrases are only becoming more common as acceptable points of view. Underseen would be a more sophisticated term for the outrage people feel when their movie isn't known and/or loved by all. But alas, I don't seek this sentiment, nor am I some weirdo who roots for the underdog in a desperate attempt to assign myself a false sense of character. For me, this was just a short journey of what I thought was a barely mediocre remake/reboot/spinoff/sequel, and how it became a holiday tradition for myself and my family. And why not: as an abstraction - with its chilly autumnal tone and excessive gore and 24 hour "Nights in White Satin" station and a Halloween bash to end all graveyard smashes - it's sorta becoming my go-to Halloween entry. And that forces me into a dark closet, wielding a knife and coat hanger, because a definitive choice is looming: Do I like it more than Carpenter's Halloween? I'd always felt Part III was closing in on that coveted spot, but I never cared enough to cement any kinda list of such an esoteric nook of Cinema. H2 is certainly one of my favorite Holiday movies, which, in terms of this particular holiday, it has cause to simmer as a potential Top 100 movie. Given time, who knows? This ain't no hot take, this ain't no disco - this is something I strongly consider every October 31st as I settle in with a large steak & cheese and a gallon of sangria and take in what is supposedly, inexplicably, the worst Halloween movie to date, and think to myself, "I wish the Slasher genre had always been this rad."

- Paul

10.02.2019

A few words about Sid Haig


This isn't an obituary; we don't really do the 'in memoriam' thing here whenever a celebrity dies. It's hopefully not a 'bio' either. But the death of Sid Haig on September 21 actually sparked a ton of specific memories, and reminded me of a time in my life when discovering new stuff was still such a ripe possibility, and in so many instances, Sid led the expedition.

The first time I saw Sid Haig (surprisingly, or not, considering the following) was in December of '97 in Jackie Brown, and his cameo-sized scene stayed with me more than anything else in the movie. For real! And in the immediate subsequent viewings, it was the part I'd look forward to. What struck me most about this very short sequence was this guy, this actor playing the judge almost towered above the movie, who, apart from looking admittedly peculiar (or maybe in addition to), I thought, "no way is that guy a movie actor, he's clearly a real-life judge they hired for believability purposes." And that's it: in a few lines of dialogue, I believed him in the role he was playing more than any other actor in the movie. And that may've been due, in part, to how casual and understated the performance is... and how I'd soon learn that this was not a typical hallmark of his craft.


I walked into Jackie Brown as a Quentin Tarantino fan; I was 14 and largely uneducated in (but not unaware of) the Blaxploitation genre. Of course, I'm sure one of the main functions of the film was to 'introduce a whole new generation to a vast, forgotten library of exciting movies, etc.'
And it worked! It worked, Quentin, and I went & sought out every Pam Grier movie I could get my hands on (which was a struggle in the cultural wasteland of Blockbusters). Fortunately, the infamously sorry excuse for a video rental store had two - the easy two: Foxy Brown and Coffy (purchased, I'm sure, from the mom & pop place from which they took over).
This, for the time being, was enough. It was enough to keep me happy & hungry for more, and it was enough to recognize that a contemporary pairing of the two actors was a deeper cut of an homage than I'd previously been aware of; this guy was a career actor, and had clearly worked with Pam before - though I'd yet to become aware of how much of a Tracy/Hepburn powerhouse they'd been. Not until the excess of the DVD boom of the early 2000s did I get a glimpse of Black Mama, White Mama, The Big Bird Cage, The Big Doll House, and Savage Sisters - amounting to my own assertion that Sid Haig was a star in his own right: a legitimately gifted character actor who could talk a good game and swing back & forth between hero & heavy with what appeared to be no effort.


Now with some major hindsight, it was a delight that he'd now worked with the 'very prestigious Quentin Tarantino,' but it was around this time of major discoveries that I caught Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses. With little knowledge of this film or its stars, and regardless of what I thought of the movie, I immediately recognized Rob's recognition and appreciation of highly talented, underemployed actors of a bygone era - namely one Sidney Eddie Mosesian. One need only watch the pre-credit prologue to just witness in awe an auspicious collaboration of director and actor, and how Rob clearly had a unique understanding of Sid's talents, his syntax, and his sense of humor, and within just those few opening minutes, the two artists create some of the most memorable, iconic jibber-jabber of 21st century Horror Cinema.


Over time I'd catch him in Spider Baby and Galaxy of Terror and various other cult & B-movie bread & butter, but really, the place I'd see him most was in person.

Horror movie and Science Fiction Fan Conventions have been around longer than I have, but I hafta say - and I don't know if others have noticed or felt this - that House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects not only popularized the convention circuit beyond its initial tight-knit community of outcasts & shut-ins, but also changed the tone and the mechanics of: how they work/what they're about/why one would attend. And what it boils down to is that for the past 20 years - now with 3 From Hell - Rob has populated his movies with who've now become celebrity regulars at these events; I've always noted that I've seen Sid Haig in the flesh more than some of my own family members. And because of this, this has been a unique "celebrity death," because thousands of folks have met the man, shook his hand, and have photographic evidence of it.
At some point in '05 or '06 I had him sign my Black Mama, White Mama poster, on which he inscribed: "To Paul - Them's my dogs, fucker!"


Truly a gentleman and a scholar who brought joy to millions with a career playing the scum of the Earth on screen, and in his off-hours humbling himself to those who loved him for it.

- Paul

10.01.2019

SOUNDS OF THE SEASON - Autumn, pt.1


Fall is complicated and weird; there're still beams of Summer, a surprise assault of Winter, and, like, ten days of Autumn. (At least, that's how it is on my part of the planet.) I'm speaking meteorologically here, but in terms of societal construct, half of Fall is Halloween, and the other half is Christmas; the parameters of the autumnal equinox this year are September 23 and December 21. That's one helluva roller coaster of blood & Santa - in other words, it's a pretty great goddamn season if you have the right guide.

And so, beautiful people, I've divided these playlists into separate and succinct Sounds of the Season, because that's what I do - and to claim otherwise would be a lie.
And friends don't lie.

So while we're being honest, I've cut loose & didn't hold back on the soundtracks here, because, quite frankly, it's the bulk of what I listen to during this season in an attempt to add more spice to my pumpkin. Every time of year is worth celebrating, but the next few months already have a built-in fanfare, and I have more than a few favorites to feed my head for whichever festivities I'm standing closest to.
So here, for the first time, for the first half of Fall, is Part One of Autumn Sounds of the Season.

- Paul


Suspiria (Soundtrack) Goblin (1977)
The days get shorter, and shorter days mean more darkness, more gusts of wind, more swirling leaves and cold rain. The world tastes & smells like Suspiria, and with the help of some Goblin funk, it's gonna sound like it too. This is seasonal playlist participation at its purest. Though, had the movie not existed & this were just an album of ambient, spooky jingles, the effect would be the same: The title track can sedate you into a red & orange foliage trance, and "Witch" will have you convinced that powerful people are currently conspiring to molest your soul.


Zombie (Soundtrack) Fabio Frizzi (1979)
The other heartbeat of the Halloween season. Frantic, tropical frenzy like "Escape From the Flesheaters" is (hopefully) the closest you'll get to the experience of fighting off, being chased by, or being eaten by zombies. But's that's just the bone beneath the real flesh of this soundtrack: the main title, or "Sequence 1," is the synthesized death march of doom that is the singular Halloween anthem for myself, and I assume the last thing I'll hear before my throat's ripped open by corpse teeth.


Ride the Lightning Metallica (1984)
In the Summer/Autumn bridge, there's still warmth and sun and green - but it's all just Sunday blues at that point, and the only cure for that is to go out in a blaze of Speed Metal decadence that compliments both the fast times of hot & humid and the subzero war zone of the abyss. "Fade to Black" and "For Whom the Bell Tolls" are obvious choices (but for good reason), but "The Call of Ktulu" is the one you can take with you all the way through the void.


Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (Soundtrack) Thor and The Tritonz (2006)
The long-delayed soundtrack to the 1987 film is a true treasure of Pop Metal made for us Horror Hounds - from a movie of identical description. The film is a musical, so no song carries more weight than another: "Live It Up," "Somewhere When Rises the Moon," "Energy" -- it's all chilly, Canadian bliss. Although no track (here or anywhere) says 'not today, Satan' like "We Accept the Challenge." Do yourself a favor and become aware of this.


The Fog (Soundtrack) John Carpenter (1980)
So, nothing says October like the music of John Carpenter, and nothing says the music of John Carpenter like The Fog (yes, even more than Halloween, you Druids). "The Fog Enters Town" is good, tense, chiller thriller suspense, but, again, the "Main Theme" is really the musical punctuation of a great ghost story, and I can't remember a Halloween season in my lifetime (nor do I anticipate one in the future) without it.



American IV: The Man Comes Around Johnny Cash (2002)
It's a bit of an obvious choice, and yes, the title track is what put it in its place - but I'm not here to be sensationalistic. Besides, the whole album is equally somber and ominous enough to get me in the mood: "Personal Jesus," "We'll Meet Again," and, of course, "Hurt" carry just as much emotional weight and dread as anything you'd hear from The Man In Black's final days.



Cannibal Holocaust (Soundtrack) Riz Ortolani (1980)
The movie was one of my favorites for a stretch, but I soon admitted to myself that it was the music score I was swooning on.
It's largely jungle rhythms ("Relaxing In the Savana," "Cameraman's Recreation"), but the "Main Theme" is a gut-wrenching ballad of strings and sorrow that always puts me on the verge of tears.



Zombie Holocaust (Soundtrack) Nico Fidenco (1980)
Much like its otherwise unrelated Cannibal counterpart, the real star of Zombie Holocaust is its score. And again, like Cannibal Holocaust, it's a balance between tropical beats and haunting melodies. "Zombie Parade" is a sophisticated pronunciation of urgent terror, but "Make Love On the Wing" is the melancholic hero of the movie, the soundtrack, and my Octobers.



The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (Soundtrack) Various Artists (1986)
It's totally a Summer movie, but the soundtrack (one of the best ever compiled) is a Punk/New Wave/Rockabilly rollercoaster in a demented carnival of blood & guts. I'd list them all, but "Goo Goo Muck" by The Cramps, "White Night" by Torch Song, "Over Your Shoulder" by Concrete Blonde, and not one but two songs by Timbuk3 all add up to a wall of sound that could've only come from one bitchin' movie.
Music is my life!

Real Gone Tom Waits (2004)
Not all of my Shocktober sounds are precooked and microwaved - I do have some imagination.
Tom's always spooky, and "Dead and Lovely" and "Circus" are easy targets -- but way more than those, "Hoist That Rag" feels like early evening trick-or-treatings on an unusually mild Halloween. Also, "Don't Go Into That Barn" could be the soundtrack of an army of rotting or demonic somethings trying to get into your boarded-up dwelling.

9.22.2019

BENNETT MEDIA GOES TO HELL

Well it's Fall, assholes, hope you're happy. Guess it's time to say goodbye to sunshine & lollipops and greetings to darkness and despair.

Back in May we asserted that our warm ways would carry us no earlier than October 1st. And now here we are and there's no more Summer Lovin' left to talk about. So, as promised, the coming month will be dedicated to our favorite holiday - which, admittedly, is like every other month. Between here & Facebook there'll be plenty of weird science and witchcraft to let you know what time it is.

See you in hell, candy boys!