Quick Ones

• Ang Lee is Angelina Jolie with the middle cut out
• Surprisingly, most of your problems are because of Winn-Dixie
• It's not believable that Young MC's best friend would be named Harry
• People care more about baby cows than baby chickens
• Fuck Little Debbie
• No longer do people describe a potential incident by saying, "That was a close shave!"
• Thursdays don't work for me
• Stuff happens on a show, while other stuff happens in a movie
• People who TiVo "Dancing With the Stars" also think Geico commercials are "witty."
• "Same Old Song and Dance" is Aerosmith's autobiography
• To be fair, they must now be referred to as The Wachowski Siblings
• Why is the word "recital" exclusive to children?
• "The Misbehavors" is the best thing Robert Rodriguez has done, and will ever do.
• "Buena Vista" is Spanish for "Disney"
• Did B.D. Wong and the rest of the Jurassic Park personnel get off the island? Nevermind the power outtages and the dinosaurs - no boat or plane could've made it through the typhoon.
• Crushed ice is not all it's cracked up to be
• The "Play" button and the "Pause" button have been combined to save time and money
• It's okay that it's not butter
• After midnight, only a few are going to let it all hang down
• Police doubt fire was accidental. Popular belief is that it was because of Winn-Dixie