At some point in his career, it became a known fact that Roger Corman "demanded" that some form of violence or nudity should take place on every 15 pages of the script. When eventually asked about this, Roger laughed it off, admitting that it might have been the case on a few specific productions but that it's not his consistent work ethic. And of course, that's entirely obvious to anyone who's seen only just a handful of his films.
Case in point: 1988's Watchers, an Action Adventure yarn about a boy and his dog on the run from bad guys and a big hairy monster. If that sounds fun and charming, that's because it really kinda is. Based off a Dean Koontz book, it rehashes that familiar midpoint between Short Circuit and Man's Best Friend, in which a kid (Corey Haim) befriends a stray dog with genetically modified intelligence, and Michael Ironside as the ruthless government guy trying to get the dog back. Oh and there's also some genetically modified ape beast also after the dog, and unlike the old black & white Corman creatures of yesteryear, the filmmakers were obviously just too damn embarrassed to ever really show it to us; at best, we get some glimpses of a murky combination of the goblins of Nilbog, the troll from Ernest Scared Stupid, and Fluffy from Creepshow. But it doesn't really matter, it's the carnage that the monster leaves in its path that's the real fx spectacle; beyond making the point that obviously not all Roger Corman movies were packed with Exploitation hallmarks, the gore in this film is sparse, but very notable. Real life Corey Haim girlfriend Lala plays his movie girlfriend, but she sits out most of the game, so instead we get Barbara Williams as Corey's cool mom / a female lead, resulting is what almost accidentally becomes a really sweet dysfunctional family fable.
Keeping with the theme of "genetically modified", here's another specimen that does not occur naturally in the universe: Jack's Pull-Apart Pizza Sticks. Ideally, they're sorta long slender pizza rolls, all kinda fused together, allowing you to pull them apart. On paper it's all a very wonderful idea, but in reality something clearly went wrong. It's really hard to determine as to whether they were going for "crispy" or "doughy" with the outer crust, leaving us with something that more closely resembles "chalky". Ultimately that creates something that can be best described as a "rolled up Ellio's Pizza" - which really isn't a bad thing in any scenario... Still though, the thought of "cheese and sauce and pepperoni filled breadsticks" is something that someone's gotta perfect in the future. Somebody get Michael Ironside on this ASAP.
The Movie: B+
The Pizza: C-
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