- Paul
Santa Coke
Y'know, as in "Coke with pictures of Santa on it". Last year was the first time in over a decade that Santa Claus began appearing on the packaging again, and I'm so happy it wasn't just a brief encore. Speculation regarding the cause of his extended absence ranged from political to financial, but I don't see any fun in analyzing it now that he's back! It's moderately common knowledge now that Coca-Cola is largely responsible for the way Santa has been depicted for nearly a hundred years, but something that few people are aware of is that having his illustration on the can or bottle actually makes it taste better. All you have to do is *believe*!
Sprite Winter Spiced Cranberry
Back in 2013 they released Cranberry Sprite. Then in 2019 they made it spicy. Okay, dude. Alas my palate has not retained the unmolested Cranberry that it once was so that I may compare, but I will say it's overwhelmingly pleasant in its current form. I've always likened Clearly Canadian to "flavored Sprite", and so here it is in its purest form. And unlike other Cranberry sodas, they continue to resist the urge of red dye, and I (surprisingly) prefer it this way -- sometimes adding color where it doesn't belong gives "yellow snow" vibes. That + the balance of red, white, and green is exceptionally seasonal without being too confrontational.
Diet Coke Lime
The flavor suggests Summer but the packaging looks like wrapping paper -- particularly if wrapping paper looked like soda cans from the 1980s. This is a magnificent achievement for Coca-Cola: they effortlessly recreated a retro/throwback graphic design without explicitly indicating it on the label with dumbass words like "retro" or "throwback". Pepsi consistently pulls that boner and I hope they're appropriately embarrassed in the shadow of this performance. I should also definitely note that I really don't like Diet Coke (and I'm not crazy about lime either) but that didn't stop me from making love to a whole 12 pack of cans. And, oh yeah, the flavor: the lime all but masks the flat sweetness that's synonymous with Diet Coke, making for a delightfully tolerable beverage.
Coca-Cola Holiday Creamy Vanilla
I found this 2 liter on the shelf all by itself amongst a sea of regular Cokes and I thought it was some divine gift proffered to me by the aforementioned Gods of Tonic. But now I see it for sale everywhere, so clearly that was a fluke. Still, I woulda bought this with or without Holy intervention; a new Coke flavor specifically created for The Holidays is serious business. Unfortunately the packaging resembles a can of Barbasol (if Barbasol came in beige and baby poop brown) and pulls back on the festive wrapping as much as it refrains from trying to look appetizing. And in the end, I got what I expected: Vanilla Coke. There are fans who claim there's a noticeable difference, but sadly I did not notice - but I have like 1.5 liters left to keep trying.
7Up Shirley Temple
My knee-jerk reaction was just to get my hands on a new flavor, but after closer inspection I noticed that the cans look like Christmas decorations from 1959! Seriously, these could blend right into the set design of Edward Scissorhands. What any of this has to do with Shirley Temple is beyond me but I accept. I actually have little/no experience with this very famous drink they're trying to mimic, and I don't consider this facsimile to be my definitive initiation, but at face value I can say that it's certainly a unique flavor. Billed as a "Pomegranate and Cherry Soda" I was expecting a strong presence of one of those two fruits, but instead it just tastes like pink cotton candy. If that's what a Shirley Temple is supposed to taste like then bravo, but if not we still got a crazy ass sugar drink wrapped in an aluminum Christmas tree. (And I can maintain my Shirley Temple virginity.)
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