11.28.2025

How BENNETT MEDIA Stole Christmas!

The citizens of Bennett Land and all those who took part
Knew what Christmas truly meant deep down in their heart

It wasn't a wish or a dream or tidings of good cheer
It wasn't the warm embrace of loved ones most dear

It wasn't a kiss under the mistletoe whenever you're near it
It was not the kindness of giving or a generous spirit

The joy of Christmas isn't magical, mysterious, or abstract
Oh, no, the best parts of Christmas are the parts that come wrapped

iPhones! And gift cards to Amazon Prime!
A BB gun with a compass and this thing which tells time!

Blu-rays! And Fleshlights with extra strong grip!
A yearlong enrollment in a jelly membership!

Presents and colas and tangible things!
Everything from the store, plus whatever Santa brings!

Maybe Christmas, we thought, should not be such a sentimental snore
Maybe Christmas this year, we thought, could be a whole lot more



No comments: