Requiem for The Drive-In

"There's basically three ways to get nookie at a drive-in, and two of em are legal."

- Joe Bob Briggs

What do you know about The Drive-In? Have you ever been to one? They're pretty tough to come by nowadays and even if you're my age they were still pretty scattered when we were kids. Whether you've experienced it firsthand or not, we've all been indoctrinated through movies and TV and pop songs that a drive-in is mostly some sort of parking lot bordello in which the occupants of each car are engaged in an act of sexual relations. And I suppose objectively that's a kinda fun and naughty thought, but in my experience it was largely inaccurate - not just for me, and not just for my generation; most of my father's drive-in memories from his own life mirror my own: it was a nuclear family event in which the child or children would sit in the backseat, sometimes with a pillow and blanket or even pajamas, and you'd achieve this campout vibe while you ate snacks and watched a giant movie screen through your front windshield. And you'd look around and that would be a similar setup with all the patrons around you. Even in the handful of times I got to go as a grownup I don't really recall any amorous escapades of my own, but by that time my purest and most vivid kink was simply The Drive-In itself -- particularly Tri-Town Drive-In in Lunenburg, Massachusetts. 

When I was born in 1983 there were three drive-in movie theaters within a 15 mile radius of where I lived, and I frequented them all until one closed and the other mysteriously burned down - which is a solid metaphor for the once and future fate of all drive-ins. As you're aware (or can surmise), by the mid 80s The Drive-In was falling victim to Home Video - not just the convenience and comforts of home viewing, but the content of the features: "Drive-In Movies" like "Grindhouse Movies" were their own unspoken brand of low-budget exploitation films that were produced, marketed, and distributed for cheap, and Video proved to be even cheaper (and more lucrative). So by the time I ever attended a drive-in they were solely showing mainstream Hollywood fare -- in the furthest reaches of my memory I'm pretty sure the first movie I saw at a drive-in was Ghostbusters. I would've been only a year old, but the startling abstract image of the Library Ghost on a giant outdoor TV in the dark that you can see from your car is adequate fuel for a core memory. 

Growing up in a temperate zone, the Drive-In was, of course, a summertime thing, and for the most part a "Second Run" venue; their seasonal lineup would consist mostly of all the film prints that the local movie theaters were no longer showing. So hey, if you missed The Santa Clause the first time, you could catch it in July. But this arrangement allowed me to see stuff like Silence of the Lambs and The Firm before Oscar season (which was very important to me at that age) because the whole thing with Tri-Town Drive-In (as with many drive-ins) is that they'd show Double or sometimes Triple Features, so I'd attend to see one specific movie and then be treated to a typically-unrelated bonus. And while I'd never openly complain about seeing a new movie (especially in the 80s and 90s) I saw a lotta oddities and a few clunkers that I otherwise might've missed; FX2, Three Fugitives, Big Top Pee-wee, While You Were Sleeping, My Best Friend's Wedding, Spider-Man, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Disaster Movie, Taken, Snakes on a Plane, and a Harry Potter sequel were never exactly on my radar but they came my way on the coattails of some other feature I was more interested in - and sometimes it was a delight, and sometimes it was a chore. They'd also often start with the Family Film, which is how I saw a lotta kids' movies: Lion King, Angels in the Outfield, Little Rascals, Man of the House, and Kung Fu Panda are some of the best and worst standouts. 

I saw a lotta movies there, but as I got older it became less about the features and more about the atmosphere. I don't mean the fundamental fun of going to the drive-in - I've covered that. I mean the absolute surreal experience of immersing myself in the time capsule that was Tri-Town Drive-In. Thanks largely to their cheapness, they updated nothing after the 1970s, so if anything the contemporary films on the screen were just a distraction from that journey. Unfortunately that also resulted in a severe deterioration of the general infrastructure, but even with that you were confronting pavement comprised of bottle caps and chewing gum of previous generations, subdivided by rusty speaker poles that no longer had any speakers. 

But the real beacon of bliss was the Snack Bar - a nostalgic paradise of wood paneling and yellow linoleum, and every square foot was entirely authentic; being inside there on a humid summer night, it was 120º and smelled of popcorn and grease, and I could fool myself that I was in the middle of a double bill of Stir Crazy and Cannibal Holocaust. And I was only able to assume that the recipes and methods with which the food was prepared hadn't changed at all, making it the best food I'd ever or will ever have. 

Well into the 21st Century my nostalgia only became more rabid - not for my own memories that I'd accumulated there, but for the exhilaration of time travel. My deep yearning for and fascination with mid 20th Century pop culture (as well as local history) made this crumbling entertainment complex an entirely seductive trip into an era just before my time. The true allure of it may be beyond explanation but if you've ever fantasized about a time machine to the extent that I have then you can appreciate what a turn-on it was. I tried to consume it as much as I could, as with each passing year the threat of its demolition loomed larger and larger. By 2009 there were holes in the screen, the projector would break halfway through a feature, and business hours became increasingly inconsistent. In March of 2010 it was torn down and became a congested block of affordable housing called TriTown Landing.

The assertion that "change is always good" is for the small-minded. I've stood by as most of my past has been dismantled and desecrated in the name of bogus sterilization and/or capital gain. Video and Cable TV weakened The Drive-In, but some false sense of "progress" killed it. There are still a few hanging around this country and many of them thrive on and flaunt a chintzy version of that nostalgia that was so completely genuine at Tri-Town. It was corroded and tarnished by time, but it was a pristine connection to the past - a past that was on the right side of history. And I distinctly remember the night I fully made that connection: it was 1998, I was 15 years old, and I was there with my uncle and my cousin for a triple feature of Dr. Dolittle, Lethal Weapon 4, and Halloween: H20. There was an indirect irony that all of these features were rooted in older movies - movies that probably played there. It was during the intermission reel - the same intermission I'd seen dozens of times before, and the same one they'd most likely been playing since 1979. But for the fist time I really watched and experienced it on a visceral level. I drank in its colors and its food porn and disco music and I wholly enjoyed it as a Pop Art masterpiece, but way more than that I felt as though I was peering through a window into the time of its production. It contains a lotta ambient footage of clouds and flowers and oceans, and I didn't just feel like I was at a drive-in in the 1970s, I felt like I actively and currently existed in the 1970s; in a completely cyclical reference, Ray Stantz would describe it as "past-life experience intruding on present time." For the length of that scratchy reel of film, it was no longer 1998, it was Summer in the 1970s. 

- Paul

STATIC SHOTS

Summer vacation 2024

Summer Nights in the 70s

On several occasions I've been at social gatherings during which there was "streaming music" playing from some device, and on some particular occasions I'd notice that the lineup of songs seemed to be a consistent succession of my own personal favorites. One after the other, song after song, it was though I'd compiled my own massive playlist that I could present to people and say "This is me, this is what I'm into." And because it included many artists and spanned an indeterminable amount of time, I wasn't able to nail down any "genre" on my own and was eventually forced to ask out loud, "What station is this?" And that was the first time I'd ever heard the phrase "Yacht Rock".

This was years ago so the terminology was even more of a novelty than it is now, but I got it right away: sunny, breezy, beachy, sea air, sure. I've no real experience with boating but it paints a picture that matches the mood - if you let it. The main problem with the name is it feels passively pejorative; I know I personally don't wanna be associated with some yuppie, elitist recreational activity, nor do I wanna perpetuate any stereotypes of race or privilege simply by listening to The Doobie Brothers. But more than anything this music doesn't put me in the mind of sand and ocean because that's not the subjective vibe with which I associate it.

This type of music used to be widely known as Soft Rock, and thanks largely to TIME LIFE Music Corporation, I associated it with nighttime (as that's when the infomercials would typically air). 12am, lying in bed, watching a half hour montage of Ambrosia, Fleetwood Mac, and Bill Withers being all emotional in front of colored lights is the sorta spooky ambience I link to these sounds. As I got older, again, driving at night with the windows down and the car stereo on, cruising past streetlights and storefronts to Toto and Firefall. I'm sure that's not too dissimilar of how this music was experienced when it was new / I also picture it coming out of jukeboxes in nightclubs and bars. Frankly I imagine any scenario except white people on yachts. 

The thing I find fascinating about this supposed genre is that it was defined and denominated long after the fact; the songs that fall under this category were released between the mid 1970s and the mid 1980s and were mostly marketed on FM stations as "Adult Contemporary". But in the early 2000s it was determined by some (and now by all apparently) that this specific abstract sound and subject matter of music from this particular era would be known as "Yacht Rock", and because it was entirely invented by fans, its listeners are littered with gatekeepers and tyrants who decide what does and doesn't qualify. And because of that and all the other aforementioned attributes, I say fuck Yacht Rock. 

Tonight I'm here to share with you Summer Nights in the 70s: my own handpicked playlist to accompany your sultry evenings of broken hearts and breaking free, all from our Jive-ass Decade of the season. Come with me and escape. 

- Paul

1979: Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned

Forty five years ago, the Iran hostage crisis began, the Sony Walkman was introduced, and the first Happy Meals were served. Thank you, and goodnight.

Usually (if not consistently) I can give you a decent first-hand account when discussing these anniversary essays, but alas I was not born until 4 years later. And yet, while a lot of change can occur in 4 years time, the end of the 1970s and the early 1980s had a lot in common: space exploration was still a newsworthy endeavor, the Cold War carried on, violence in the Middle East persisted, Michael Jackson and Van Halen were topping the charts, and Facts of Life and Dukes of Hazzard were still on the air. And I actually can say from personal experience that, inside people's homes, the decor and fashions and general lifestyle remained very "70s" for most of the decade that followed. 

So how do we firmly define this year - the last year of The Disco Era? Well, for one, Disco was still King despite its many detractors; Bee Gees, Donna Summer, ABBA, and Village People were practically at the heights of their respective careers. Even Kiss and The Stones were bending to the trend just moments before this empire collapsed. So that's how 1979 sounded, which is crucially indicative of any moment in civilized society. And what about the rest? How do we fill in the rest of the vibe? Politics? Technology? Philosophy? Astrology? As usual, we look to the movies (because what else are they good for?).

I can spy with my sagacious eye and say with some authority that "70s Cinema" and all that implies truly did run out the clock; the timid whimsy of 80s movies wasn't even on the radar yet (STAR WARS mania notwithstanding) as 1979 still packed in the punch of gritty realism, casual violence, and crackling originality. The Comedies were crass, the Horror was strange, the Action was dangerous, the Dramas were dismal, and for however confrontational the subject matter was, they followed suit with their abstractions; scary movies had funny moments, sad movies could be uplifting, car chases were romantic. Crossing genres and pace changes were the nuts and bolts of 70s Films and this year kept good on that bargain - particularly in contrast to the primary-colored kiddie pools of current Cinema. Sequels like Rocky II and More American Graffiti were strident reminders that franchises and reboots would almost always buckle under the weight of their origins and just felt out of place in this decade of fresh ideas. 

There was a lot in '79 - I stand back and look at my list and while it's an accurate representation of my own tastes, the omissions are palpable because there was that much. There are so many different flavors and so many different toppings that even just a selection of five movies would be a strong enough representation of the depth and dominance of this year (and also decade). But I've kept it at a modest Twenty for sanity's sake, and I'll forgo the explicit, longwinded observation of how fun and easy it was to compile a list of favorite movies from 45 years ago and what a tedious trudge it would be to do that with any year from the past 20. 

Someday this war's gonna end.

- Paul

1. The In-Laws

Tracy & Hepburn. Newman & Redford. Hanks & Hooch. "Chemistry" is so rarely a notable attribute anymore, but at the top of my list of that magic element is this singular outing of Arkin & Falk: two great actors on their own but absolutely unstoppable as a pair in this collaboration. But a big reason they play so well off each other is that they have this ridiculous script to work with that I quote so often that half the time it's not even applicable to my own situation. The best Comedy of the year, and best non-Woody Allen Comedy of the 1970s.

2. ...And Justice For All

I'd say it's the Second Best Comedy but it's just too damn dark. But that's the genius of it: not just because it juggles polar opposites of emotions, but because as a whole it's a terrifying mosaic of absurdity that you can't help but laugh at the dumbness of the American Legal System. Along with Rocky and Cuckoo's Nest it's on the short list of films with a climax that'll bring you to your feet and cheer. 

3. Zombie

Or Zombie 2 if you prefer, but I choose not to minimize this wholly original masterpiece by sequelizing it to an unrelated spinoff (Dawn of the Dead). I was never entirely interested in zombies, but they're so rarely this monstrous and creative and cool. Living dead aside, this whole movie is such a humid, sleazy, putrid vibe that could've only been achieved in this era. 

4. Apocalypse Now

I prefer the Redux but that's partly because I just wanted more movie. I've never seen a Vietnam film exactly the way I'd like it to be, but this is still the closest and that's because of its surrealism. It's adequately atmospheric and frightening - especially the often maligned Brando final act, which I find to be the most effective. 

5. The Frisco Kid

The Western was all but done in '79 as they'd become the subject of parody or evolved into robots and laser guns. This movie ignored all conventions for something entirely new and the result is a Lite Comedy with legitimate Western Action all grounded in an incredibly touching story of friendship, spirituality, and love. I could never compare it to anything else. 

6. Alien

At a time when "Serious Horror" (or "Elevated Horror" as it's called now) was still boring as all hell, it was such a punch to the chest to be fooled into witnessing imagery that was so gross and awesome. Like The Exorcist years before, once we're grounded in the safety of reality (or realistic characters), then a truly intelligent picture will abuse that trust by any means.

7. The Kids Are Alright

Possibly the most abstract movie on my list, primarily because it's not necessarily a movie - it's not even a documentary. As a structureless collage of archival footage and staged performances, it's a dizzying Love Letter to The Loudest Band in The World, put together by an actual fan -- and it made one outta me.

8. Rock 'n' Roll High School

Who knew a Punk Rock parable about antiestablishment youths and violent protest could be so fun and lighthearted? Very few Roger Corman productions hit a direct bullseye with me, but I will always watch this whenever I'm in the mood to be in a good mood. 

9. Gas Pump Girls

I'm not sure what you call the genre in which "Young Ladies Use Their Sexuality to Attract Customers to a Failing Business" but this is the best movie of that genre. And if a warm sunshiny Comedy full of retro gas station decor and scantily-clad women isn't enough, it's got a melancholy singalong moment that rivals Magnolia's "Wise Up."

10. The Brood

One of Cronenberg's more accessible "What if" scenarios and I buy right into it. Very often his attempts at suspense are watered down with esoteric whimsy, but this movie nails a perfect balance of bizarre and coherent in a way that seems to satisfy him as much as it does me. 

11. Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens

Technically Russ Meyer's final feature, which is tragic as he'd clearly reached the peaks of his talents. There were tame American Sex Comedies this year like Meatballs and 10 but Russ was doing it with the panache and pornography of European Dramas. Quentin can only hope he bows with this much of a bang.

12. Manhattan

 I've long stood by the contention that Woody was a greater writer and performer than director. But in the late 70s he proves me so wrong and this movie falls right in the sweet spot. There isn't a scene in this movie where you can't feel the same amount of effort and talent in the visuals as in the dialogue and acting, proving him a well-rounded auteur. 

13. Escape From Alcatraz

It's part of the decades-long "Prison Bad, Prisoners Good" subgenre, but I'm sure it hit differently in a post-Vietnam society. The best surprise of this film is that it focuses less on the mechanics of the "escape" and more on its sprawling cast of supporting characters - made up entirely of a lotta my favorite actors. 

14. The Visitor

I don't like using the word "weird" when describing movies, it's too broad of a term. But that's the point, I can't explain it in a few short sentences. Featuring John Huston as a sympathetic hero and cameos from Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Sam Peckinpah, and Franco Nero as Jesus (I think).

15. Mad Max

Maybe the truest example of where the 70s met the 80s: car chases and villains had to be more exciting than STAR WARS and your violence had to make Dirty Harry look tame. And for all that craziness this movie has outstanding performances and a strong emotional core. 

16. The Electric Horseman

Another meta Western to round out the decade, but its cleverness is that the premise would still work in an older movie. Mostly I'm just here for the scenery, up to and including Redford and Fonda lookin' just fine.

17. Time After Time

On paper it's the best idea I could ever imagine: H.G. Wells uses his time machine to chase Jack The Ripper into the 20th Century (specifically The 1970s). And between casting and story structure it's expertly executed, but mostly it's refreshing to see Malcolm McDowell as a sweet romantic lead (especially in the same year he played Caligula).

18. The Amityville Horror

Big chunks of this movie are a real trial to get through, but when they put in the effort it's effective; the characters are weak and unlikable but it makes up for it in atmosphere and jump scares. And I'm a sucker for ghosts (and Margot Kidder). 

19. Phantasm

The coolest thing about this movie (aside from the black 'Cuda) is how many genres it employs: it's a Mystery Thriller with car chases and guns and sex and gore and aliens, all presented like a Gothic Hammer Film. But, again, with a 1971 Plymouth 'Cuda. 

20. Tourist Trap

In the moments between Halloween and Friday the 13th there was Tourist Trap, and in several ways (writing, acting, and just general creepiness) it's better than both of them. And the ending is scarier than most Horror Movies, period.

SUMMER SNACKS!

Could I have somehow maintained this summer's theme and only eaten snacks from the 1970s? What the hell is even that? Fondue and Pop Rocks? (Come to think of it that sounds pretty good.) I think for the food stuff we can ease up on the blogging dogma and focus our attention on the good and the beautiful: Sustenance and Summertime. 

As usual I didn't find much this year, or at least much I was excited about. And also as usual, if new things come my way I'll share it on Instagram. But for now we have a dynamic lineup of sodas, sweets, and chips that span the spectrum between Jive-ass and Outta Sight. Dig.

- Paul

Skippy Oatmeal Protein Pie

Skippy is a very enticing brand - something about that shade of red and that shade of teal that makes me want peanut butter real bad. So in my mind's mouth I imagined some kinda smooth PB filling sandwiched between two oatmeal cookies. Imagine my bemusement upon seeing the sad, squashed, coagulated disc that most closely resembled the Happy Meal hamburger from 2 days ago that your cousin didn't want. Appearance and dry pasty consistency aside, the flavor is like sugar free, peanut free Tempur-Pedic mattress foam. There's got to be a better protein delivery system than this. Do not recommend. 

Sprite Chill

Lookit that label, man. The design's a little sparse but that color combination is pure Orinoco Flow. As indicated in bold, the flavor is "Cherry Lime" though the fine print next to it reads, "Lemon-Lime and Cherry Lime Flavored Soda." That's a lotta lime, folks, and the cherry is trembling under the weight of it. Nevertheless, it's nearly as breezy and refreshing as the graphics and it's probably the best thing Sprite has done since they started the Winter Spiced Cranberry back in 2019 - which now has a worthy Summer counterpart. 

Kit Kat Chocolate Frosted Donut

I don't like chocolate frosted donuts. I don't like frosted anything really - I don't like frosting. But that's usually because of the consistency, whereas these just behave and feel like normal Kit Kats -- except for the flavor, which I suppose could be like a donut(?). I will say say the chocolate is a very different chocolate, it's super sweet (which is my other turnoff with frosting) and the cookie's probably different too, I couldn't tell. I think it's obvious this made little impact on me.

Doritos Baja Fiery Mango

I'll say this much: it's one of the best lookin' Dorito bags since the 1990s. There's a volcano, tiny food illustrations, and a shark actually eating their current shitty logo. But back in my day we didn't mess with tropical fruits or "Baja"-related products (whatever that is), and that's when chips were chips, fam. My expectations were so low on these, and their greatest accomplishment is that they managed to plummet even lower. I'm always down for sweet & salty experiments (you're talking to Mr. Peanut Butter and Onions here) but these tasted like Fruity Pebbles and red pepper flakes. I say no.

Dr. Pepper Creamy Coconut

Every year, for what feels like a decade now, the Dr. has put out a new one, and every year I try it and my reaction is always the same: "It tastes like a damn Dr. Pepper." Such is not the case with this mutant flavor; as indicated on its labelling, regular Dr. Pepper supposedly consists of a blend of 23 flavors, and while civilians don't know for sure what these flavors are, the cumulative consensus has been the following: amaretto, almond, blackberry, black licorice, caramel, carrot, clove, cherry, cola, ginger, juniper, lemon, molasses, nutmeg, orange, prune, plum, pepper, root beer, rum, raspberry, tomato, and vanilla. No wonder a hint of whatever doesn't entirely reinvent the wheel. But with coconut, the same thing happens here as with any beverage: it turns vaguely into sunscreen. That's summery, sure, but so is the beach and I'm not into that either. 

Cheetos Mexican Street Corn

I like Cheetos - not the puffy ones, the crunchy ones (which these are) so they're already ahead. And I like street corn, so we're rolling right along here. Put 'em together, and I'm gonna tell you it works muy bien. Like almost addicting - I just continuously force them in without break. And then, as it turns out, the break is where the sourness falls, literally; one flavor you don't get immediately is the sour lime ingredient, which lingers as the literal aftertaste and kinda turns me off until the next round when I eat them too quickly to notice. You people with the lime. It never ends. 

Gummy Snack Pack

A whole assortment of picnic/cookout themed gummies all compartmentalized like the plate you put together yourself. I'll be honest, I secretly hoped that each gummy's flavor would at least mildly correspond with their respect shapes: Kraft Mac & Cheese, Oscar Meyer Hotdogs with all the fixins, and Claussen Pickles. Alas it was not the wild gross-out rollercoaster ride I kinda wanted, but just regular gummy-tasting gummies. The layers of the hotdog one are incredibly arduous to bite into but the little macaroni elbows and pickles are really fun snacking shapes. And all the colors here are just outstanding. 

Doritos Jumpin' Jack Cheese

Now here's a goddamn Dorito flavor - and understandably so: it first came out in 1990 and then was cruelly taken from us as is so often the case. What makes it a bit of a champion is that it's mild without being flavorless and is discernible enough to not hafta share a bed with any of the other flavors. The updated packaging is just horrendous but at least it's in such a way that stands out from the other horrendous bags, and the stark whiteness is also a bold indicator that it needn't rely on the gimmickry of sharks or flames or even color. I checked very recently and could not find any more in the store, so it looks like we're in for heartbreak again.

STATIC SHOTS

1979