2003: It seems like yesterday, but it was long ago

We needn't always be a product of the culture around us; we always have the option to take the reins of our own environment. I'm just speaking from experience but I feel like there's a changeover at some point when your interests are no longer dictated by current fashions. It's when you become notably "out of touch" or "unhip" but really I think it's more about settling into your own path. The reason young people dig contemporary trends is because they're all aimed at them and they don't know any better - that's not a criticism, I ate up all the junk they fed me until I started to peek over the fence.

I was 20. I was drifting through my second year of college with a casual abandon that would ultimately wreak havoc on my conscience in harmful ways. At the beginning of the year I left home for the first time and moved in with my sister and her family while they were housesitting a split-level home on Overlook Drive - a fitting location as we still refer to it as our time at "The Overlook." I occupied the basement level which included a bedroom, living room, bathroom, and a legitimate bar. Objectively some kinda paradise for someone in my situation at the time, and I assure you the perks were not lost on me. But those perks began to betray me as I started to sacrifice sleep and academia as I found myself in some dissociative fugue state. I lost myself in an existential Rubik's Cube that was compounded by one of the most brutally crippling Winters in my memory. Everyone in the house fell victim to various (and mysterious) health afflictions as well as varying degrees of financial ruin. I'd lie awake in the darkness every night as I heard my brother-in-law venture out into dangerous temperatures and mountains of snow to deliver newspapers under the cover of darkness. It was an unspoken race to see which of us could fully transform into Jack Torrance first. The furnace was unreliable: when it did work it covered the walls and furniture in black soot, and when it didn't the blankets would gather ice crystals as I slept. I stopped taking care of myself in conventional ways and ventured into various areas of self destruction. I'd been left unattended and the toxic mixture of bizarre circumstance and freedom of choice left me in a bad place. 

I wasn't going to the movies much - I wasn't going much of anywhere, including school. I'd acquired a Korean bootleg of Eraserhead, and upon watching it for the very first time, it felt entirely like Nonfiction to me. I alternated between Zeppelin's In Through The Out Door and Joni Mitchell's Blue. My Power Songs were "Take It Easy" by The Eagles and "Against The Wind" by Bob Seger. I read On The Road. I wrote a feature length screenplay about kidnapping and divorce. I saturated myself in a dark and angsty sphere of moody media and it wasn't even intentional. (It also wasn't even March.) As the season began to show some mercy, the reality of my situation began to manifest into tangible problems with horns I could grab onto and tame. 

Apart from hitting uncomfortably close to home, Eraserhead was a truly monumental turning point for me at that time -- suddenly my career as a film student was something to be taken much more seriously. Shortly thereafter I'd gotten my hands on a VHS of Paul Thomas Anderson's Cigarettes and Coffee which only furthered my lust and ambition to create. Also it was around this time when I consciously decided to catch up on the major Horror Movie Series of my youth; through the cheapness and convenience of DVD, I consumed all of Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Texas Chainsaw, and Hellraiser in the Spring of that year. (It was entirely and joyously incidental that Freddy and Jason would square off a few months later.) The White Stripes released Elephant in April and it became a Summer soundtrack. The year started to take shape in ways that weren't entirely rooted in misery and confusion. 

I left The Overlook in July and moved back home, which felt both like a failure and a reward. A lot of permanent damage had been left in the wake of this experiment, enough to disqualify it as a learning experience, but certainly enough trauma and scar tissue to call it an experience. I realigned back into my old self (with new baggage): I went to school, I went on dates, and I went to the movies -- predictably nothing left as much of an impression on me as those first six months of this abominable year. And where is the surprise there -- we were 3 years in and I was already soured on 21st Century Cinema and finding thrills and inspiration in older oddities. For me there wasn't anything inherently 2003 about that year; I wasn't immersed in the commercialized moment the way I was when I was a kid, and I think that's the jumping off point into some kinda maturity: yes I'd chosen art to continue to nurture my spirit, but it was gonna be on my own terms. I'd stood at the bottom of the well looking up and managed to climb out with the help of pirated movies and 80s Slasher Flicks and Classic Rock - because that's what was right for me at that time. That's really how it should always work: we have centuries of culture on our shoulders and yet we scramble to consume whatever Netflix, Twitter, and The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences feeds us this week. I became a man as I accidentally looked beyond the stage and saw the horizon and god knows I wanted to break free. 

We were buried in sequels more than ever before (LOTR 3, Terminator 3, Fast and Furious 2, Matrix 2 and 3, Bad Boys 2, Final Destination 2, X-Men 2, Legally Blonde 2). Notice how low these numbers are and how that coincides with the beginning of the decade... Nauseatingly ominous. And Pirates had just set sail! Even still, we had outings from Woody, Altman, Bertolucci, Friedkin, Jane Campion, The Coens, Jan de Bont, Martin Brest, Joe Dante, John Woo, Richard Linklater, David Zucker, Ron Howard, Norman Jewison, The Farrellys, and Richard Donner. I didn't care, I still don't - I saw next to none of these tepid attempts and what I did see left me feeling unsatisfied and/or ashamed. But it worked out splendidly - it was a garbage movie year and I was too busy to get all pissed off or even care. But yes, there were a few I liked quite a bit - a couple I loved even. Nevertheless I've generously inflated my Best Of List to the numerically pleasing "20" for your skimming pleasure - a daunting task that should allow you to see me at my most masochistic. 

- Paul

1. Kill Bill Vol.1

It had been roughly 6 years since we'd heard from Quentin, and I was ignorantly underwhelmed here -- where's the introspective tone and sparkling dialogue? Stupid me it was always there in plain sight, as well as a whole lotta other brilliant stuff. Admittedly some of its weight and grandeur came into focus with the help of Vol. 2, but still, on its own, it remains to be one of the best Action flicks of this century.

2. Lost in Translation

This whole approach and mood felt so fresh at the time (at least for American films), and in a lotta ways is still is; regardless of its pace, this fast & loose spirit infused with seemingly calculated cinematography was clearly influential but rarely duplicated with such finesse (not even by Sofia).

3. Bad Santa

There was no way to market this movie in a way that accurately got the subtlety (or crudity) across. And so I stayed away for some time, eventually seeing it accidentally and realizing what we all know now. Terry Zwigoff furthered his track record of offbeat humor, but the best surprise was Billy Bob's special brand of comic timing.

4. 21 Grams

One of the first few times this decade that I was excited about a new filmmaker (and even rarer that they continued to keep up and follow through). It wasn't that it was experimental, but it was competent and precise and challenging in a way that movies (and movies like this) hadn't been in a while. 

5. Freddy vs. Jason

I can't pretend to discuss this movie objectively (or any movie for that matter). It's ugly to look at with its misplaced CGI and artificial cinematography, but in terms of story and performance and all around fan service, they got my order right and I got the toy I wanted. 

6. House of 1000 Corpses

It took nearly the past 2 decades for me to come around as much as I have on this odious opus. As a straightforward movie it's obnoxious, but as the indulgent overblown circus of overacting and exaggerated camp that it is, it works as one of the better intentional comedies of the year. 

7. The Room

Intentional Comedy? It doesn't matter, it's entirely and endlessly watchable and rewatchable, either to laugh at it, with it, or simply sit in stunned awe. And no defense or apologies - more has been written about this film than any other on this list, so there's your prestige. 

8. Master and Commander: The Far Side of The World

The best nautical swashbuckling adventure of the year - this is the one that deserved 4 or 5 sequels and it's totally telling that we were rooked. I can't think of many movies around this time that had me so aware and invested in props, costumes, and set design. 

9. Coffee and Cigarettes

I'd been aware of the shorts of which it's comprised and this was my chance to actually see them. I'm not really a Jarmusch guy but the content and the concept is certainly my speed (at least at the time) and the pace is way more manageable than usual. 

10. Finding Nemo

It took forever for me to recognize the otherwise obvious difference between Disney and Pixar -- and that Pixar films were and are exceptionally and consistently better. This one is still too juvenile for my taste but I always found the underwater animation to be entirely hypnotic. 

11. Matchstick Men

I say I'm not a fan of Ridley but I always seem to dig the Crime Drama stuff. I also really like grifting gags, but more than anything this movie just further perpetuated my love and lust for Sam Rockwell.

12. Mystic River

Lotta criminal activity in Boston around this time it seems, and it was Award and Box Office gold. In spite of that transparency I'm more than happy when Hollywood decides to champion gangsters and thugs over superheroes. And this is easily one of the better Beantown bum outs. 

13. Grand Theft Parsons

A few dollars shy of an adequate budget that would've made this movie noticeably better and more popular. Proof that Johnny Knoxville can be a straight actor no problem, and also the first time I witnessed Michael Shannon carry more than a single scene. 

14. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

I went to see this not knowing or expecting much and was very pleasantly surprised. In the sphere of Indiana Jones/Cartoon Action Adventure (which entertains me but doesn't excite me) this is about as good as it gets.

15. Elf

Will Ferrell's most likable role (and movie) and it's a tone I wished he'd revisited more often. Not that he should always play some kinda man child but so few modern Comedies are saturated in this much innocence without being totally defective.

16. A Mighty Wind

I think it's on the level that my standards with this crew were pretty high by this point - I just found the laughs to be a little sparse here. Fred Willard steals it again, Catherine and Eugene are the most likable again, and of course the music is brilliant.

17. Jeepers Creepers 2

Equal parts bigger and more intimate - good or bad that's exactly how a sequel in any genre should be handled: same tone, new rules, different structure, lots more bad guy. (And what a bad guy!)

18. Once Upon a Time in Mexico

The Army of Darkness or Beyond Thunderdome of this Action Comedy franchise is full of dumb jokes and empty ideas that connect to nothing and lead nowhere. Imagine a multiverse where the MCU were that clever or brave - we'd be drenched in Grindhouse Cinema. 

19. Hulk

"Wow, an Incredible Hulk movie, great idea!" Ok so the actual Hulk effect wasn't as cool as the old TV show I grew up with, but the story and performances and overall comic book vibe was so much more attractive to me than the Spider-Man movies at that time, and easily the coolest looking movie Hulk to date. 

20. The Cooler

It's a shame that after 80+ years the gambling genre seemed to taper off - ironically around the time of the poker boom. What I took from this is that I don't buy Alec Baldwin in serious roles, and it's still unfair how rarely I get to see Maria Bello.