I'm on my first date with Christopher Robin and no I didn't change his name to protect his identity. My Mother would later begin unaffectionately calling him Frankenstein, due his many piercings, mostly through the back of his neck. Christopher Robin Frankenstein has decided that our first date was going to be at Canobie Lake Park, the super-local family-run amusement park, to which I have many fond memories: one of these memories being stuck very high on the "Moon Orbitor" and needing to be rescued by the fire department.
The deal with this place was that, if you came after 5:00 p.m., it was $5 to get in. Then you could ride the "Turkish Twist" and "The Psychodrome", kid and family free, over and over again till 11:00 p.m. This was definitely a deal created for teens and adolescents to go fuck around or just go fuck. These were different times kids. I am old as shit.
I was feeling very sexy and confident in my indigo blue halter top adorned with an embroidered crescent moon, which was more like a loin cloth for the boobs than an actual shirt. To my amazement that morning I had enough chest to hold it up. A few days prior I had dyed my hair flaming red and my neck was still all stained from the Manic Panic and glowing from the subsequent scrubbing. At least my parents wouldn't see any marks if I were to get lucky. My date smelled like CK1, which was making me want to be uncomfortably close to him. And to my surprise, he wanted to hold my hand. The whole time.
Waiting in line for rides he would always put his arm around me and smell my hair. He must have liked that chemical scent as much as I did. I was treated to a fried dough, a huge fat person favorite of mine, that I would throw up much much later. We didn't play any competitive games - I suspect he didn't have any athletic ability, to which I don't care about at all. The park sits alongside a tiny lake and there's a sandy beach at its edge. I sat on his lap there and we kissed.
Walking back to his car I could feel his anticipation. I was excited. He had the best damn parking spot in the whole damn lot - away from all cars and shadowed from any big lights. I took his hand and he led me into his backseat ever-so-smoothly. After a few minutes of spit swap, licking, and lip smacking, he stops to turn on the radio. He slides in next to me and kisses up my neck to my ear and his put his hand up my shirt. He whispers in my ear, "I just want you to know that I'm a Christian and plan to wait until I'm married to have sex." The commercial ends on the station. Que "Party Up" by DMX.
1. "Creature Comfort" by Arcade Fire
3. "I Must Go" by Lindsey Buckingham
4. "Sowing the Seeds of Love" by Tears for Fears
5. "I Don't Like Mondays" by The Boomtown Rats
6. "Holy Commotion" by Pretenders
7. "Chloroform" by Phoenix
8. "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want (instrumental)" by The Dream Academy
9. "Strange Little Girl" by The Strangers
10. "Party Up" by DMX