Quick Ones

• Why does the bathroom water taste different than the kitchen water?
• In 2015, we'll use garbage to fuel our cars. However, Texaco Stations will still exist
• White-rimmed sunglasses are for girls
• Marshmallow Fluff needs an animated mascot
• When they detonate a bomb over the ocean, you think about the fish
• Is this burning an eternal flame, or should I have it looked at?
• Kate Upton used to be Estella Warren
• Drink coasters are for pussies
• Woodsie the Owl and the Tootsie Pop owl have different agendas
• Ice coffee is an abomination
• Garbage men will take away diapers, condoms, and dead bodies, but not a television
• Studio logos are getting out of hand
• Bjork wrote the Love Boat theme
• Corn Chex and Rice Chex are comparable
• Jackets are cooler than coats
• Don't cry over spilled milk - get even with the cow
• Support your local bully
• Why isn't Krackel available in regular size?
• There haven't been any cool serial killers since the 1980s