Offensive to Good Taste and Morals

You don't have to watch A Serbian Film to be grossed out this Halloween. There are tons of disgusting things just lurking behind every corner of your local supermarket, Facebook scroll, and science class. Our very existence on this rock is filled with some very messed up shit. Here's a few in case you haven't heard, or maybe blocked from your memory.

- Babes

Conjunctivitis

Whether you're on the receiving end of this miserable affliction, or staring down a burdened carrier, you cannot wash your face and hands enough, as your body has now been taken over by some otherworldly monster. Unclean! Unclean!

Cottage Cheese

This is not food. It most closely resembles what my cat's puke used to look and smell like. Commercials of people spooning in big happy mouthfuls make me wretch into my mouth. Stop eating this.

Snails

Any animal that produces and requires its own mucus for transportation is fucked.

Tapeworms

The whole idea of being host to a foreign organism is scary. Feeding and accelerating its growth, until it unfurls out of your asshole for more living space, is gut-wrenching. No pun.

Colostomy Bag

While I understand its need in the medical field, I believe any living person who now relies on this unholy tool to pass their stool should be granted a peaceful final exit from their life. It is no longer a happy, sanitary, or dignified way to live. 

Casu Marzu

Some foods eaten should never be spoken about socially. The fact that snails are consumed and considered quite a delicacy is to me one of life's greatest mysteries. But a "food" even more rare and revered, and coming only from Sardenia, is this fermented maggot-filled cheese. It's so upsetting to people that it's actually illegal. If you want to serve it at one of your high price parties, you've got to black market that nasty shit.

Wet Hair

We all know that moment where the water in the shower starts to fill up around our ankles. It's time to play plumber and stick your fingers into the moldy and slimy drain in search of the special hair clog prize. After minutes of abysmal tactile hell, you succeed and find the culprit. You hope and pray you get it all in one big pull, so this nightmare can be over. When you pull out what could be enough hair to be a small rodent, and you wonder if you're balding, another hell unto itself, you dispose of the gooey clump as soon as you can, grateful that it is the longest time until you have to endure this torture again.