PRIVATE EYE SEZ: Get Your Own Damn Philosophy

There's a saying (often attributed to Charles Bukowski though that's a continuing debate) that goes, "Find what you love and let it kill you." The fallacy of this quote is that, unlike some of the better creeds or aphorisms, it's casually open to interpretation; it's famously embraced and misappropriated by addicts and obsessives as an intellectualized excuse to carry on with whatever's become equal parts pleasurable and detrimental to their quality of life. Absent of the grim or cynical approach, what does the quote really mean? Typically "love" and "death" are two circumstances that have a way of finding us and not the other way around, but again it seems both ignorant and careless to be so rigidly literal (and be cautious of people who are). My understanding of it, simply put, is that you should put in the effort to maintain some semblance of happiness until the very end. Of course that's not as catchy or mysterious as the actual saying, but the mentality of "stick with it, don't give up" can be a healthier, more sporting interpretation. But it does lack that romance that strikes truer on a literary page than it does across a poster on the wall of a gymnasium. I despise the things that kill me or are killing me and I champion that which makes me feel more alive. For some (maybe for most) that feeling of dicing with death is the core essence of feeling alive and appreciating life; we tend to become complacent about something as banal and predictable as "living" so some folks need reminders. The trick is to not actually die - people will say "I could die happy right now!" because I suppose everyone wants a happy ending, but give them a minute and they want sequels. Death is not the reward and you can't take it with you. None of it. Not love, not happiness, not sunsets, not the points you've accumulated to redeem one free medium pizza with one topping. Find what you love and let it set you free from the feeling of your inescapable fate. 

Nietzsche famously said "That which does not kill us makes us stronger" which, though largely contradictory to the supposed Bukowski quote, is saturated in its own gloomy optimism - exploited by survivors and people who have decidedly not allowed themselves to be killed by whatever it is that they love. It's a blindly upbeat take - once it sinks in we quickly recognize that experience doesn't always change us for the better; hardship can leave us feeling weaker, frightened, broken. Personal growth is a likely aftereffect of trauma but the real guarantee is wisdom: accumulating perception and practical knowledge is the actual "strength" to which the theory refers. And while knowledge can often do us more harm than good, wisdom comes with a sense of calm understanding and security. And it will find you if you let it in. 

We currently live in an age in which we know what everyone thinks - not just the opinions of those who are qualified, but the opinions of our neighbors and their children and their children's schoolteachers. But there was a time between the fall of the Christian Bible and the World Wide Web when people could peacefully form their own thoughts, their own inventions, their own beliefs without the interference and distortion of The Crowd. I suppose that in and of itself (though routed in some historical fact) is its own belief, but that by and large is my point: when unfettered wisdom has found you (though we're allotted only a lifetime's worth and it's never enough) your belief system will become more rigidly personal and you'll be able to see the path before you more clearly because it is uniquely Your Path. Let those who are younger, those who are uninformed, those who are without wisdom argue about what is true and good. You've earned your time and it's precious, and you needn't waste it following or leading, but simply taking solace in knowing that you are right. 

- P. Eye

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STATIC SHOTS

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)