7Roulette - TEACHING MRS. TINGLE

In his directorial debut, and fortunately only gig in this role, Kevin Williamson flexes his auteur muscles. Leading the cast are two 1990s sexy teen icons, that in one scene, get down and dirty, much to the wet panties of adolescents everywhere. They knew exactly what they were doing by pinning girl next door Joey from Dawson's Creek on top of 7th Heaven rebel Matt Camden, in more or less exactly their same roles. Oddly enough, this is a genre sidestep for this "Horror Master." Mostly a comedy, but a mild thriller at its base. But you aren't gonna want to laugh at any of the jokes. You're more going to laugh FOR poor Helen Mirren, whose making some cash by having to deliver these lines. It's embarrassing. But she gives it her all, because why the hell not? It looked like fun. Her performance is subtle and hot. And without this and her, no one would ever remember it. Unless you're in in it for nostalgia. C-

-Babes

This is The Final Boss. Written and Directed by Kevin Williamson? What?! I'd never seen this - all I'd known about it was that its working title was Killing Mrs. Tingle until Columbine happened, so I figured while the title change was more marketable, the gruesome content within the film would remain intact. But apparently there never was any; it's not even a Dark Comedy, it's a Lite Comedy. No criticism against the genre, it is what it is, but it isn't much. On the one hand, it never goes in the direction you expect it to go, so there's a constant forward momentum of unfolding. On the two hand, it never goes in the direction you want it to go; the film flaunts its PG-13 rating like a pride flag with big teases of violence and sexuality, even going as far as clumsily dubbing out the curse words to the point that the whole thing feels like it was edited for Saturday afternoon TV. So with minimal suspense and no likable characters it's a bit of a grind, and while she is indeed not likable (as subtly implied by the script) Mrs. Tingle is certainly interesting beyond the superficial caricature - much of that has to do with Helen Mirren's performance. And when all is said and done we somehow manage to know less about her than we did at the start - and it's not some groovy mystery where we're made to blissfully wonder, it's just lazy writing; she has more mystique than Michael Myers but less motivation. I suppose it works as a sorta televised adaptation of some Young Adult paperback, so on that level I find it admissible. Or it can simply be enjoyed as a feature film depicting Helen Mirren tied to a bed in her pajamas for 90 minutes. Your call. C

- Paul