Summer Starter Pack 2023

How does one recreate the Summer of 1993? Menacing Mr. Wilson and bombing the hell outta Baghdad. (Too soon?) Honestly that's not exactly how this theme is supposed to work - and yet, this list is loaded with some powerful punches that could put us in the right frame of mind to narfle a Garthok. Summer still gots to be Summer and it can't all be Ace of Base, but there'll be enough adventures to capture that early 90s mood (I'm watching Clarissa while I write this so clearly I know what the fuck I'm doing). I was 10 years old in '93 and I don't anticipate any obstacles on my journey in continuing that sensibility -- in other words, I'm still capable of eating junk watching garbage. 

You know the routine (unless you're new, then you don't): the following is a short list of seasonally appropriate activities in which we intend to engage. Some will last all season, some will last all weekend. Some will pass the time, some will be an event. Maybe an hour or more, but maybe only ten minutes. We post these in the hopes that perhaps you'll join us in some capacity - that is if they're accessible and/or agreeable to you. Or, build your own burger and then let us know what you're scheming. It's dangerous to plan but it's necessary to have something to look forward to, so do yourself a favor and seek out some stuff that will make you nostalgic 30 summers from now. 

- Paul

Better Living Through Television 

I already know how to accurately relive my own 1993: with Patty Duke and Rhoda. Thanks to our friend and your Bob Sacamento, Max, we've been made aware of Zachary Jackson's Youtube channel, which is comprised mostly of 3-to-6-hour-long videos (that is to say each video is between 3 and 6 hours long) of early 90s Nick at Nite programming blocks titled Nick at Nite: Reimagined: nearly a dozen random episodes of the station's retro lineup - complete with 90s commercials that would've aired at the breaks - strung together to recreate any given evening of my 10-year-old lifestyle. Sometimes there's an unevenness in the audio and aspect ratios and the commercials appear to be pulled from a wide span of time, but as far as these types of YT videos go, they're pretty much exactly what I've always been searching for. Nothing says '93 like some Taxi and Jeannie right before bed. 

Squeeze, Fiona

I'm not a fan of 90s music. Actually, save for a few tunes here and there, I really fucking hate it. But I'd definitely like a solid Summer album to accompany me through the season that somehow maintains the mood I'm going for here. Thankfully, there's Fiona - the enigmatic singer/songwriter who released a handful of albums in the late 80s/early 90s, including 1992's Squeeze - a hard/soft/rock album somewhere in the balance of Heart and Lita Ford that has the right amount of sunshine and sentimentality to cover every single imaginable base. This is the best I could do and it's pretty damn good. 

Renegade

Now that my Nites are better, what to do to fill the gaps of my sweaty days? How about some sunny Southwestern crimestopping action - on a motorcycle. Renegade began in September of 1992 and lasted five seasons. It starred Lorenzo Lamas as a cop framed for murder who goes on the run to enforce his own brand of justice and hopefully clear his name. This setup is already a warm blanket for me, but when you add the TV melodrama and Action aesthetic of the early 90s to the menu, it only gets hotter. I've always been peripherally aware of this show, and while it's currently available on disc and streaming, our options are ripe and robust - I anticipate binging this bad boy. 

VIOLENT STREETS

Another Summer, another Box of brutality. This season's set is from Severin who've compiled five Umberto Lenzi Poliziotteschi - (presumably over the top) violent Italian Crime sagas from the Cannibal Ferox maestro himself.

I reserve the Action genre for Summer as is, and three of the included films are accompanied by soundtrack CDs(!) so this will be a very easy (and bloody) departure from our steady diet of Sleepless in Seattle and Salt N Pepa; who says you can't put marinara on mac & cheese? 

Take your father's place at my side

The #1 reason I wanted a child of my own was to have the opportunity to introduce STAR WARS to someone for the first time. My plan was to go chronologically by Episode, and so I attempted to show my son Phantom Menace last year, to which after 20 minutes he asked, "Can we turn this movie off?" Fair enough, that's a jagged pill to swallow for a 3-year-old (or for anyone of any age). Cut to March of this year and we say fuck it and draw the curtains and crank the volume on A New Hope and the effects have only gained momentum with each passing day.

It worked in a more intense and profound way than I could've ever hoped for. I've eaten, shat, and slept nothing but the wars amongst the stars for the past 10 weeks, bound and connected to my kid through the pop culture phenomenon of my own youth with the potential of new and continuously changing developments from here on in (Episode X has been teased). His full-blown STAR WARS birthday party is on the horizon which will only send this obsession into hyperdrive, promising a Summer of incessant Revenging and Returning and Awakening that's sure to leave me in a very comfortable and familiar place.