MY POSTER PAST :: part 8

I'm bewildered by people who don't hang things on their walls. When I'm in someone's home and I'm faced with bare enclosures I'm overcome with some kinda urgent loss of equilibrium; how does one live or even function in such a vacuous void? I'm pressed to question their mental health, but more often their intelligence - not in an irate manner, but more of a pity approach. Aw, that poor stupid idiot. Or perhaps their minds are filled with such wondrous imagery that they've no need for external stimuli of any kind. They must be the folks who watch movies to "turn their brain off" - their intellectual stamina requires a lotta naps. 

I digress, sorta. Point is, some striking artwork in my everyday field of vision was and is an easy passion to hook into. As noted, we're eight chapters into this exploration and I've barely approached adulthood. And I share these with you not as an invite into my own boring nostalgic recess but mostly as an extra branch of Art Appreciation; outside of symbolic mile markers of whatever I was into at any given time, it's important to note that these masterpieces of mass produced merchandise are still out there - some more easily attainable than others but all readily available for you yourself to own and ogle. Consider this your marketplace of fine art and design. 

- Paul

Madonna

One day, unannounced, a traveling art print vendor set up shop in the lobby of the main building of my college for what seemed to be a single afternoon, and I was lucky enough to be passing by at that right moment.

Madonna's been in the spotlight my entire life. And so, at the age of 20, after two whole decades of being on this planet the same time as her fame, this 24x36 Holy Grail was a well earned reward and a more fitting monument I could not imagine. (Except for my Blank action figure.)

Lord of the Rings

Yeah, I had a Lord of the Rings poster, what. I didn't get it because it was Lord of the Rings - my father had the books but I wasn't gonna read 'em. I wasn't even entirely aware that this was a depiction of any previously published material - the "Lord of the Rings" typeface was so barely legible that I didn't even notice it. This was around my mystical wizards and magic spells period and this detailed illustration spoke to me. I'll tell you, had the movies looked anything like this, I wouldn't be constantly bitching with every breath. 

Consumer Advisory

I was 11 or 12 and was immediately drawn to any image with the most nudity. Unfortunately at this time in history that meant a lotta blondes with fake boobs, which wasn't really the vibe I sought. This one, on the other hand, was such a zenith of smut that I was excitedly embarrassed to own and display it. And because of the angle of the photograph and the anatomical infatuation I share with both Sir Mix-A-Lot and Lt. Vincent Hanna of the LAPD, it became a sort of centerpiece.

Freddie Mercury

Decent Queen posters were a bitch to come by in the early 1990s. However, Freddie's death did prompt some new (though uninspiring) art and I was so desperate I took what I could get. There was a whole wealth of imagery that I wanted so badly to be on a poster (namely the other members of the band) but I was instead cornered into advocating AIDS awareness. Whatever, it was the 90s. 

Playboy

For all the bathing suit cheesecake festooning my chambers, this one held the most intellectually carnal subtext of all the airbrushed T&A in my gallery. Ever since I was conscious of popular culture, this name and logo was (understandably) emblematic of Nudity and Strong Sexual Content. It felt grownup, sophisticated: I don't require actual photographic depictions of breasts when it's explicitly implied by this all-encompassing symbol. It's like the Bat Signal - it lets them know he's out there.