I'll have what they're having

Not all meals require a movie, but some movies require a meal, because once you reach that moment you're gonna find yourself getting jealous of the characters on the screen. But it's always been more than that - it's about experiencing the movie on an additional sensory level. Not unlike the movie theater gimmicks used between the 1950s and 1970s (vibrating seats, Smell-O-Vision, Sensurround, barf bags, 3D), a screen-accurate food or beverage can bring you that much closer to the action. If that sounds pretentious and/or juvenile, you can go straight to hell.

This practice is a year round, lifelong thing for me, and this year and this season is certainly no exception. Obviously the centerpiece is always the Little Monsters sandwich, but as Horror Cinema dominates my viewing time, there are a handful of features that whet my appetite in an unironic way; it's never satirical like pea soup or fava beans, but there are a few that require some compromise and imagination.

Are you ready for your soup?

- Paul

Psycho - Sandwiches

More like some kinda sandwich platter with sliced bread and various spreads and condiments and toppings. Not really hearty enough for a rainy night, but the buffet-style approach is perfect for a last supper.

The Monster Squad - Burgers & fries

It looks like Burger King packaging from that time, but I can't spot the logo. It's for the best - you can choose your combo from any takeout place and still play along. 

The Witches - Soup

Soup is like the food of Children's Lit; ever since I was little I was like "soup and porridge is where it's at apparently." As a grownup, it's consistently a tepid disappointment. But I'll be cursed if this movie doesn't make it look appetizing. 

Wolf - Peanut butter & jelly

So when I think of this movie, I think of this scene first. The joke is that these are two wealthy people (played by two wealthy people) slumming it on peasant food. But despite the presence of grape jelly, they make it look so fucking good. 

Death Proof - Nachos

Quentin's gonna make any food list...

I had zero interest in nachos until Stuntman Mike made them look so disgustingly decadent. And I can attest to their sloppy goodness: I've been to the Texas Chili Parlor in Austin and had this very Grande Platter. That's commitment to a bit.

Hannibal - Paul Krendler's brain

I don't know what to tell you. Maybe not fresh outta Ray Liotta's head, but leave it to the Dr. to make it look presentable. At the very least you can join in at home with the crackers and dried fruit stuff. 

Young Frankenstein - Unspecified supper

Prior to the "yummy" Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte, there are plates of muddled black & white food that are even tougher to decipher once it's been touched. My whole life I've just assumed it's some kinda meat & potato thing with peas or other vegetables, so this movie requires a little prep work to do it right. (Or a Swanson's).

The Shining - Bacon & eggs

The kitchen is full of food and a lot of it's talked about, but the most explicit depiction of a prepared meal is also the only mildly sweet moment in this tide of terror. And it's stuff like this that always makes me wonder: is that how Jack Nicholson takes his eggs, or is it how Jack Torrance takes his eggs? I'm sure there was a discussion. 

Prince of Darkness - King of Snacks

Pizza and Chinese food?! I know this is supposed to be a phantasmagorical allegory, but Jesus. And it goes beyond that; this sorta office party/stakeout storyline demands that they also have Oreos and Kool-Aid and soda and just a whole galaxy of garbage to ease the stress of dealing with the Dark Lord. 

The Slumber Party Massacre Trilogy - Pizza

Let's face it: 'za goes with pretty much every movie ever. And then there's a long list of legit "pizza movies." And then there's the Slumber Party Massacre movies: the official year round go-to pizza-pie threesome that enhances your pepperoni proportionately to the other way around.