17 Unsung Sidekicks

Second banana. Right hand man. Mini boss. Crony. Aide-de-camp. These are the synonyms for the Watsons and the Igors and the Barney Rubbles and R2-D2s of our collective pop culture pantheon and many of the best and brightest have found their way to the center of the spotlight. This list honors the folks who never got that chance, and so their contributions are that much more precious to me. Join me in thanking them for their service. 

- Paul

Willie Tanner

ALF

Let's face it: ALF ain't nothin' without a competent straight man to not laugh at his sarcastic, antiquated humor - and Willie deflected the bad puns and carefree callousness with a cutting sense of indifference. He openly loved & protected the alien, and rarely hid his hatred for him.

Bob

Batman

Even steady employer Jonathan Demme referred to the great Tracey Walter as "Bob from Batman." He may've been a Second Banana, but he was The Number One Guy; even Robin was never this faithful. 

Judas

The Last Temptation of Christ

I'll be honest: most of what I learned about the story of Jesus I learned from Last Temptation. So, naive me understood that Judas was only ever a loyal, protective disciple who was only fulfilling the Messiah's wishes. Original Scripture aside, Harvey Keitel's Judas proves to be the real hero of this fable. 

Nikki

Who's Harry Crumb?

The younger, inexperienced character who's eager to help is usually met with a lotta finger-waggling resistance. Not only is Nikki encouraged to participate, we're mercifully spared from a climax where a villain uses her as a human shield. 

Zeus

Die Hard With A Vengeance

On the long list of established heroes who absolutely did not need a partner, John McClane woulda placed somewhere near the top. Having Sam Jackson helps, but the reason Zeus is great is because he's even more of a reluctant everyman than our lead.

Artie

The Adventures of Pete & Pete

At its core, this series was more mysterious than Twin Peaks - due mostly to its impenetrable supporting cast. Artie may be the least subtle thing in the whole show, but that's why his unfaltering goodness is so supernatural. 

Birdie The Early Bird

McDonald's

The McDonaldland crew presents plenty of options, but Birdie's always been kinda my jam. I'm not sure if there was some Howard the Duck/DuckTales vibe that was reaching me, but I know it gives me a great deal of a weird brand of comfort knowing that she's the mascot for the breakfast menu. Not even Mac Tonight has that much responsibility. 

Eduardo

The Limey

You know how difficult it was to settle on one Luis supporting role? But that doesn't diminish my choice; Eduardo sets the whole story in motion, providing valuable exposition along the way, and even mans the getaway car when necessary. 

Meg White

The White Stripes

Maybe I'm just sentimental or nostalgic, or maybe because I relate to drummers, or maybe because I have an undying crush, but I remain casually apathetic to anything Jack White has done since the band split up. It's never gonna be the same without her.

Chuck & Bobby

Hey Vern, It's Ernest/Ernest Saves Christmas/Ernest Goes to Jail

It's a pretty equal partnership (and brotherhood), which makes them both sidekicks to the Numero Uno, Head Honcho, Big Enchilada, E. P. Worrell. I don't know how particularly helpful they are to our hero, but they're always there, trying their best. 

The Gimp

Pulp Fiction

It's blissfully unsettling to wonder about the sinister intentions of the man in the box. Putting aside how he got there, how long he's been in there, what his days consist of etc., who knows how dedicated he is to his lifestyle once he's left to his own devices. 

Josie

Beakman's World

Beakman had a rotating cast of "female assistants," and they all tried to emulate the wit and style of the first and best apprentice, Josie (Alana Ubach). There's nothing too vague going on here: a perky scientist with comedic chops and an excellent fashion sense? I've been under her spell since I was 9. 

Reed

Boogie Nights

Every character in this movie comes from a dark place and follows a dark path. Reed Rothchild is here for a good time - his only blunder is living vicariously through Dirk's victories and defeats, though still remaining the coked-out voice of reason. 

Billy

The Man Who Would Be King

Throughout this whole movie, it's impossible to know who to trust. Billy Fish remains a rock for the duration, but his allegiance remains questionable... until the end, when all doubt is washed away in one heartbreakingly selfless act. 

Torgo

Manos: The Hands of Fate

Not to be condescending, but Torgo does a lot in spite of his many shortcomings. And in the end, he's only human (I think), and basic compassion (and urges) simply don't gel with the rigid dogma of your basic polygamist cult.

Agent 99

Get Smart

Yeah, it's definitely more exciting when it's Barbara Feldon, but if you can find anyone who's smarter and braver than you while never attempting to make you feel inferior for it, you'll be blessed with all the blind courage you'll need to fight your own brand of KAOS.