Summer Starter Pack 2022

I don't make plans. I don't have anticipation. I don't have expectations. I don't look forward to things, because more often than not, it leads to heartache. So I try to keep these little projects and schemes on the simpler side of the spectrum - lest they perish.

We're currently on the cusp of One Bad Summer, so we need these distractions to keep track of the time; there'll be some old stuff, some new stuff, some old new stuff, some new old stuff. It'll be our usual tabernacle of nostalgia bric-a-brac, but with our usual cabalistic flair to make it sound important. Still though, there's nothing arbitrary here: Bad or not, these are the Summer vibes we've elected, and they're all accurate and worthy of the season (because we said so and we know best). Feel free to join us if it's convenient within your plans, and check back often - as some of these are potential springboards for further evaluation. 

If you want it bad, that's how you're gonna get it.

- Paul

Mixtape Movie Marathon

Usually I'm not a fan of Double Features or Triple Features or any instance wherein more than one seemingly unrelated feature film is played in succession without adequate breathing room in between. Movies sometimes need like a day or a few to sorta sink in for me. But I've constructed one that works I think - at least for me (and for the season).

Due to some recent and upcoming video releases, fate has dealt us a winning hand of soundtrack-driven Cinema that's sure to raise one helluva music-movie marathon that's sure to occupy one junk food-saturated day (or at most a weekend). 

For the sake of consistency (and as a serving suggestion) the order should go:

The Girl Can't Help It

Licorice Pizza

Rock 'n' Roll High School

Times Square

American Graffiti 

A Little Deep Dish Action

Ok, so no amount of time ever really goes by when I'm not at least peripherally functioning on some amount of Turtle Power. But this Summer's already shaping up to be more mondo tubuloso than it's been since I was a kid - and it's mutating beyond my control. 

In a short span of time I picked up the 1990 comic book adaptation of the original movie, as well as a very prominent body art tribute. Additionally, I've finally filled in the gaps of my physical media collection with Lionsgate's Complete Series Set (in which 24 DVDs are clumsily stuffed into a 95¢ plastic box). But above and beyond all that, my son is starting to absorb this pop culture empire in a more mature and perceptive way than before, due largely to the gripping gameplay given by 1990's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game for the Nintendo Entertainment System. 

Through this, he's not only learning the correlation of names/bandana colors, but also the excitement of the franchise. I'm just along for the ride. 

STARLOG - The Final Frontier

I mentioned a while back that Starlog Magazine was never really my thing - mostly because Science Fiction was never really my thing. The truth is I rarely come across an issue that doesn't look appealing to me, but I pass it up due to some convoluted "principle," or I'm holding out for something better.

No more.

Flea market season is upon us, and plenty of previously owned periodicals are out there waiting for me. Those of you who follow our Instagram may've noticed that we've already begun beefing up our stockpile with great reward and no fucks given. As the hallway of Fango back issues narrows and they become harder to find, Starlog will lift the flag and carry on. 

Stranger Things 4

There will be shows, old & new. But this show earned its Summer stars with its super-seasonal third season in 2019. The series had danced around 80s nostalgia as part of its initial hook (and to explicitly establish from where it drew inspiration), but Season 3 was shamelessly uninhibited in its gimmickry, and it was that very brashness that more or less turned me into a bit of a "fan" - as it was the last time I used my Netflix subscription (though I'm sensing that may be the case for some other people).

Last season was huge on product placement - to the point that spotting old labels became the main narrative thread for me. But the way bigger deal was the actual product tie-ins: Burger King, Baskin Robbins, and most importantly, Coca-Cola, which resulted in a soda-by-mail benediction that nearly defined my 2019 Summer. 

So I guess what I'm reeeaallly looking forward to is the junk food. Doritos is a logical and welcome partnership, but this is no good. I know they can do way better than this - because they have. At this point, they should've leveled-up to collector glasses at McDs or some sorta sweepstakes for you and a guest to go on an all-expense-paid vacation to The Upside Down - because these ugly ass bags of chips ain't cuttin' it.

Camille Keaton in Italy

There's clearly plenty to watch and I won't mention it all - but this is worth mentioning.

Vinegar Syndrome released this 3-movie set in 2021 as a limited edition of "8,000 units." I don't know what the demand is but I feel fortunate for finding it at The Archive last March. 

You know I love me a boxset - especially one full of new stuff (to me), and this promises (or insinuates) some sparkling Italian scenery to match the mood. But the real draw is Camille Keaton; I'd like to be a more consistent fan, and so I look forward to enjoying material in which she's not being gang raped or receiving a forced abortion. 

This Summer is only as bad as we'll allow it to be.