Bennett Media's ONE BAD SUMMER

This Summer I hear the drumming, four dead in Ohio.

We're okay. Things could always be worse - but they could be better. Fortunately, it's Summer! (kinda) And by now you'd better goddamn know what that means! It means we're sweaty and we're sexy and we're ready for louder music and dirtier movies and fatty, sugary jelly roll jamboree. Who cares about the demon in our soul or the creature up our ass - we're making the most of this mess as long as the time is right for dancing in the street. 

Hot nights always bring dark, violent weather, so we've dug in and braced for the impact of One Bad Summer - a surefire scenario of cathartic bloodletting and sad Mulholland Drive-type masturbation that's sure to have us eating our feelings and cursing the almighty -- but with the windows open. Misery loves company - it also loves hotdogs and Hammer flicks. The official "Spooky Season" may be months away, but that kid-friendly codswallop is for the Spirit Halloween cretins; this is the time for blood-curdling existential dread. We invite you to wallow in the dog days with us as we marinate in our own funk. We'll order a pizza.

We can't lie to you about your chances, but you have our sympathies.