3 Ninjas -- In the 90s, basketball solves everything
Not quite. Actually, that's pretty unfair to Ninja Turtles and Home Alone.
In this ultra-low budget, dreamed-up-over-a-weekend ripoff attempt at relevant family entertainment, three white preteen boys learn how to be ninjas from their Asian grandfather (?) and end up having to put their skills to use against a trio of Bill-&-Ted-like henchmen and a ponytailed crime boss straight out of a Baywatch episode. Oh yeah, and it comes in handy against school bullies -- but without the use of violence, because that's not the ninja way.
The reason we here at the site often call attention to this movie and actually watch it from time to time isn't because it's a quality film - it's not; it's needlessly convoluted with dumb dialogue, laughably choreographed fight scenes, and unlikable characters (particularly the 3 young ninjas). The way it does succeed as an art form is how effortlessly (or is it accidentally?) it embraces its time & place. Without a lotta cerebral nonsense and big budget fireworks to distract the mind & eye, we're left with a near-documentary of white suburban 1990s. Stylized for sure, but even the stylization is something that can never be duplicated (at least without free falling into parody). And perhaps no moment in this movie illustrates this more than a scene in which a couple of our heroes challenge some grade school dickheads to a game of basketball to win back the honor of a female classmate. (Just putting these words in that particular order makes me wanna do some Dew & play DK Country). How it plays out is as if Nike, Adidas, Gatorade, and Slim-Jims got together to sell us a vibe via sunshine, guitar riffs, and phat beats. It's so viscerally spot-on that it eclipses any kinda campy nostalgia you're thinking of and (very) surprisingly is just a great moment of cinema.
- Paul
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