Quick Ones

  • Fox keeps telling me I can "become a fan of The Simpsons." All this time I never knew I needed permission.
  •  "The Number One Movie In The Country" is not a review.
  • How come Chinese restaurants don't give out those rolls anymore? You know, those rolls?
  • In theaters, films are presented in a "WIDESCREEN" format. The black bars at the top and bottom of the screen are the ceiling and the floor.
  • The alternate title for The Sound of Music was, This is What Happens When You Find a Stranger in the Alps.
  •  If Dum-Dums were smarties, then airheads would be nerds. Refrain from Snickers and Chuckles.
  • Was the Dukes of Hazzard movie any dumber than the show?
  • Steven Spielberg will die in your lifetime.
  • It's bad luck to watch Friday the 13th.
  • I was told, "Don't eat the yellow snow." Personally, I find any color other than white to be troubling.
  • Your thoughts are your own until you Tweet them.
  • What's the deal with airplane peanuts?
  • Morgan Spurlock turned McDonald's into Starbucks.
  • The worst thing about Ghostbusters the movie is "Ghostbusters" the song.
  • The Thompson Twins had three members and none of them were twins.
  • Girls Meets World insinuates homosexual overtones.
  • Where's that Nic Cage?
  • A new toothbrush has ambiguous consequences. 
  • Pleasantville has the worst poster, soundtrack album cover, VHS and DVD art of all said media.
  • It's really tedious to listen to someone describe a TV show - even if it's one you like.


Anonymous said...

If the movie isn't on the floor AND the ceiling, then it's not really a full wide screen, though, right? And how come them Imax screens look like a square? If I'm gonna shell out $17 for a movie, I want the full screen.

Tyler Foster said...

The eventual Blu-Ray art for Pleasantville was actually a new low.

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