Quick ones

  • No one points out the surrealism of talking-animal movies.
  • Tell people you were an extra in Spiderman 3. They'll believe you.
  • Middle-Earth looks like New Zealand.
  • Movie theaters sell you a gallon of soda & offer you free refills. Clearly, they're inexplicably trying to find ways for you to miss the movie.
  • When does the decision come to put outtakes at the end of the movie? Are they in the script?
  • Aliens are always more advanced, & they always lose. Proof that intelligence is no match for violent aggression.
  • Remember Tom Hanks?
  • Whenever people remake a movie, they say it's because they "love the original." Does anyone buy this bullshit?
  • Deaf people have no aversion to foreign films.
  • I'm worried for Abe Froman. Why didn't he show? & what of the other two people in his party?
  • People often claim that they love "bad movies." Me, I hate bad movies. I wish there were less of them.
  • It would be easier if Spielberg's segment of Twilight Zone: The Movie came at the end so I didn't have to press fast forward every time.
  • No one talks about French Connection II.
  • I don't get excited by red band trailers -- I've heard the F-word.
  • New Zealand looks like Middle-Earth.
  • What exactly is the selling point of "From the Studio that brought you...?"
  • When you go to the movies, take the straw out of your drink & bend it in half so it has a pointy corner. 10 minutes after the movie starts, lean forward & hold it to the throat of the person sitting in front of you (make sure they don't see that it's a straw), & say, "if you turn around, I'll kill you." Then sit back in your seat; try to do it during a comedy, & see if they laugh at all during the movie.
  • I have no opinion of Molly Ringwald.
  • In my dreams, I can walk. My legs are strong.
  • Not to beat a dead horse, but does anyone really love 3-D? A lotta people complain about it, but no one seems to have any general excitement about it.


Joey said...

I really like this feature. Keep it coming!

MRanthrope said...

you'd think the sausage king of Chicago would have a larger lunch party right?

Mr Fist said...


* Not unless a human does drugs.
* Even despite where you live?
* I've never noticed that.
* The cinema here has had many other methods, but not that.
* Here, let us show you how many times we screwed up!
* Violence is an endorphin.
* Who?
* They must mean Love/Hate.
* Lucky bastards.
* Please refer to MRanthrope's comment.
* 'Bad', in this case, is a relative term.
* Never saw it.
* Fuckin, aye!
* I've always noticed that.
* Money may make a movie, but it doesn't MAKE a movie.
* This'll be good.
* I need to fix up on my Hughes knowledge.
* I tend to float.
* Not here. Now leave the horse alone.

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