BENNETT INVENTORY : Monster Con Survival Guide

Holy shit, is that the line? Gotta wake up early tomorrow. This seven-foot-tall zombie is really slow. He's not gonna wanna talk to me, is he? Not in the mood for some kinda role-playing bullshit. I can see the Palisades Predator 2 statue from here -- I gotta ditch this zombie. God, this couple doesn't belong together. These can't be originals, they're only 8 bucks. No, I don't wanna buy your movie. BO & chili cheese dogs smell like a rotting corpse. That rotting corpse smells like latex. Big pale tits. Acne. More BO. Jason Lives. Lobby cards - set of 8. Felissa Rose.
No one likes Saw. That guy's aching to expel every bit of knowledge he has about the mythology of Michael Myers - turn & walk the other way. Take the stairs. Get in line. Cigarette? More BO. $5 each or 5 for $20. Pennywise in XL. Why would you get a DVD autographed? It's a DVD! I just got here - I can't buy this yet. "Arms fly up as tentacles leap from head." I just goosed that lady. Hey, Norman Reedus, don't talk to me please. "Horror Spectacular -- 8 Horrifying pinups!" How 'bout 1989 prismatic vending foil horror stickers?

PJ Soles. Ecto Cooler. With light-up torso. MOC. MIB. OOP. Rolled repro. 8.5x11. 11x17. #217 of 5,000. Ham & cheese. "Win me." We're trapped. Vampires belong to Twilight. She shows her tits in that. How much? Is it cheaper on eBay - I'm factoring in shipping. Toshiba DVD distorted projection of Halloween II. No thanks.

Don't hit on girls who are holding hands. How much do we have left? BO again? Is it me? No. "...starring in her father's remake of Phantom of the Opera." Fat Freddy. Fat Jason. Fat Michael. Fat Shaun. Fat Joker. Fat Ash. Hot chick. Hot chick in our room. I'm drunk. All of the Staff are menstrual. Cigarette? My fingers are all green. Can I buy these separately?
Hey, fat Ash, how'd you get a girlfriend? Amelia Kinkade wrote a book? Little tiny bottles of Heinz Ketchup & Mayonnaise. Completely posable and authentically detailed. Anal Paradise. The Place To Meet. Drunkiest. Vampires or Zombies? They're both boring. Get a picture of that! Abrasive women & their homemade leather goods. BO! Zoom in, zoom out. Out of Anal Paradise. "Series II contains another hot 100 cards." Do I own this? Do we want this? I think we need these. Toll money. Press 'Order' to purchase - Movie titles will not appear on bill.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's like Victor's trip to Europe... minus the Rachel Leigh Cook look-a-like.

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