Quick Ones

  • Why does the bathroom water taste different than the kitchen water?
  • In 2015, we'll use garbage to fuel our cars. However, Texaco Stations will still exist
  • White-rimmed sunglasses are for girls
  • Marshmallow Fluff needs an animated mascot
  • When they detonate a bomb over the ocean, you think about the fish
  • Is this burning an eternal flame, or should I have it looked at?
  • Kate Upton used to be Estella Warren
  • Drink coasters are for pussies
  • Woodsie the Owl and the Tootsie Pop owl have different agendas
  • Ice coffee is an abomination
  • Garbage men will take away diapers, condoms, and dead bodies, but not a television
  • Studio logos are getting out of hand
  • Bjork wrote the Love Boat theme
  • Corn Chex and Rice Chex are comparable
  • Jackets are cooler than coats
  • Don't cry over spilled milk - get even with the cow
  • Support your local bully
  • Why isn't Krackel available in regular size?
  • There haven't been any cool serial killers since the 1980s
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